Jesus, George Washington and an iPod - why I don't go into the Apple Store

Girl      Who was in charge before God?

Me       Nobody.

Girl      Somebody had to be in charge.

Me      Yes, I suppose so. I’ve never thought about that.

Girl      You should. I think it was probably Jesus or his sister.

Me      Did Jesus have a sister?

Girl      He did.

Me      Who told you that?

Girl     You learn that in God school.

Me     What is God school?

Girl     It’s where you go get communion, learn about Jesus, and get money from your family for an iPod.

Me     Do you mean religious education?

Girl     That’s what you call it! I need religious education and communion so that I can get an iPod.

Me     Religious education isn’t just something you do so that you can get money for an iPod. You do that so that you can learn about God and Jesus. And not everybody gets enough money for an iPod for their first communion. And we aren’t Catholic anyway. Catholics tend to go all out for the first communion. It’s a more low key type of thing in our religion. Not likely to net you enough cash for an iPod.

Girl     Then how will I ever get an iPod?

Me     You can do chores and save money.

Girl     Can I just eat the blood of Jesus and get my money?

Me      THAT is not how it works.

Girl     Yes, it does. My friends have iPods that they bought with the money they got from getting congratulations for eating Jesus.

Me      I know you understand what I’m saying here. I know you do.

Girl     What if God told you to get me an iPod?

Me     Still no.

Girl     Who was in charge before George Washington?

Me      I have no idea.

Girl     Somebody had to be.

Me     I’ve never thought about it.

Girl     You should. It was probably God.

Me    Probably. Or Jesus or his sister maybe?

Girl     I bet George Washington had an iPod.

Me     What makes you think that?

Girl    Because even if he didn’t eat Jesus, the President just gets what he wants.

Me     You should run for President someday.

Girl    I think it would just be easier to eat Jesus and get my money. Why are we in the iPod store if you don't want to buy me an iPod?

Me     I have no idea. You want to go get some ice cream?

Girl     I’d rather have an iPod.

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  • fb_avatar

    Oh Nikki you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind! I so needed this today! HI-LAR-I-OUS!!!

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    You handle these things with such quick-witted grace,

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    I really..... absolutely.... just love you. LOL

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