Actual bedtime conversation with my 7 ½ year old daughter below.
Girl Who do you love best; Zach (my son) or Dad?
Me Oh, Honey, I love them both. I don’t love one more than the other.
Girl Yes you do. Everybody loves someone most. I love you most.
Me Thank you. I love you so much. I adore you.
Girl I know because you tell me, like, 100 times a day.
Me I do that because I want to balance out the nagging and complaining with love words.
Girl So do you love me most?
Me Honey, it’s not that simple. You and Zach are my kids and Dad is my husband. I love you all and I love you all in very different ways. This is a very hard concept to explain.
Girl What if you HAD to choose because somebody had to get killed?
Me Why would somebody have to get killed?
Girl Because there is a war and somebody has to die.
Me I’d choose me to die. I’d want you guys to live. I love you more than I love myself.
Girl Maybe you love Dad more than you love yourself because he milked you and put the babies inside of you.
Me Dad didn’t “milk” me. That’s not how it works.
Girl Oh, yeah, that’s right. Zach and I milked you. You don’t give boob milk to grow- ups.
Me No, no you don’t. Only babies drink milk from their mother’s boobs.
Girl So if he didn’t milk you, what did he do to make you a baby in your tummy? I was wondering because I want to have a baby in my tummy.
Me Don’t tell anyone, but I love YOU the most.
Girl I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Can I have a Fun Dip?
Me Yes and you don’t even have to brush your teeth after you eat it.
Girl This is why I love you the most.