Giving a Hoot about sex

I try not to let guilt take up too much space in my emotional closet, but this is quite a challenge as I’m raising my kids. I’ve done no less than 100 things that I said I’d never do. The real world of parenting threw me into a reality that I wasn’t prepared for due to my idealism, ignorance and inexperience. I can tell you that I do NOT feel guilty about taking my kids to Hooters for dinner.

I confess that I was sheltered as a child.  I was raised by parents who successfully protected me from the harsh realities of real life. So much so, that when I went to college, I barely made it a semester before I had to return to the nest for a year to “recover” from reality. I became convinced that bringing children into the world was cruel. The world overwhelmed me. Obviously I got over this, grew up, and changed my mind.

When my firstborn was a toddler, I decided to commit myself to two things. The first thing I decided to do was to relax. I had to stop worrying about every little thing and to be the kind of parent who would try to guide, instead of try to control. The second thing was to make sure that I raised well-rounded human beings who I would guide through life’s realities without sheltering them or lying to them about the harshness or unpleasantness in life.

We read, watch television, follow the news and take every opportunity to discuss things like friends, school, family, war, sex, politics, and whatever else comes up. I sometimes struggle to find an age appropriate way to answer questions or explain concepts. Sometimes I need some time to think before we discuss tough topics. They know that eventually I’ll come back to them prepared.

I also decided that shame would have no place in our home. I want them to feel bad when they act like jerks, but I never want them to feel ashamed of their thoughts, feelings or behavior.  The drive to feel good and understand our sexuality is completely normal and starts early. Sex makes life. Sex is natural, normal, healthy and necessary. Sex and sexuality cannot be avoided, therefore it must be acknowledged and discussed regularly with growing kids in order to help them better understand themselves and the world around them.  Kids understand so much more than most of us give them credit for and a developing a healthy sexual identity is truly key to having successful relationships in life.

All relationships? Yes. All relationships hinge on our underlying acceptance of ourselves and this includes our sexual identity. The world is a fascinating place filled with endless information and experiences. This week we had a family dinner at Hooters in Joliet where we enjoyed great food, good service (thanks Renee) and a lot of laughs. We go there a lot. My kids will eventually form their own opinions about the idea/concept behind Hooters. I think that the beautiful women who work at Hooters should be commended for their hard work, high tolerance to rude and judgmental people who in my opinion are merely jealous of their fit bodies and obvious comfort with their sexuality.  YOU GO GIRLS!

Feel free to disagree. My decision to post what I find to be a hilarious picture of my daughter in her “Future Hooters Girl,” t-shirt on my Facebook fan page was met with some serious hostility and angry judgments. I suppose I should have expected as much, but I didn’t.  My daughter happens to be quite clever, successful academically and genetically gifted in the looks department (she takes after her father). I won’t ever lie to her by telling her that looks aren’t important or that her sexuality and attractiveness are something to be ashamed of. I’ve decided to attempt to give her healthy and balanced introductions to the different types of choices that she will be able to make as she grows into a woman. She can be whatever she wants to be.

Are our dinners at Hooters part of this education? This wasn’t the plan, but you know that life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. I plan to keep exposing my children to as many different types of ideas, people, lifestyles, religions, and concepts as humanly possible. When they are old enough to start taking this general fund of knowledge and making decisions about how to apply this knowledge to their own lives, I will be able to confidently say that I did the best job that I possibly could to prepare them to be generous, kind, accepting and educated citizens of the world.

This preparation includes the FACT that sexuality is a huge part of life and is only more so as kids grow.  In our family, we include enjoying regular family dinners at a loved restaurant where the friendly smiles, familiar sights, smells and excellent service make for a happy memory, as part of this preparation.  I LOVE YOU HOOTERS IN JOLIET. I wish you had gluten free fried pickles, but I still looooooooove you.




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  • fb_avatar

    I'm not one to be a Negative Nancy & I respect your decisions, but I do disagree. Sure, you can't shelter them from everything, & even if you could, it's not healthy. However, I teach my daughter that while it's a choice, it's one I prefer she not make. She knows that the world objectifies women regularly & that she's a beautiful female & that it's bound to happen to her too, but I've also taught her that it's important to be more than that & not to encourage it. If she does make that decision, eh, guess I'm a mom of a Hooters Girl & I have to get used to it, but I'm hoping that by instilling what I feel to be proper morals now while she's young, that she wont make that decision.

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    In reply to Jessica Underwood:

    Women are objectified. That is fact, but Jessica, how can working hard by offering good, honest and friendly service improper morally?

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    In reply to Megan Fuery Martin:

    sorry....BE improper, morally?

  • jessica, please don't associate negativity with the name nancy. some of the most wonderful people i know are named nancy. kidding. sort of. now, about your opinion. i respect it and agree that the objectification of women isn't the greatest thing, but it's a reality. our bodies are beautiful and powerful and attractive and it's unavoidable to notice beauty and power. working at Hooters doesn't imply poor morals. i hope that's now what you are suggesting and i'm hoping that i've misunderstood that part. otherwise, KUDOS to you for being what seems to be a loving momma who clearly wants the best for your daughter. xo

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    I don't understand what the big deal is. It is not like kids are getting a lap dance or seeing anyone else. They are covered up. I see more body parts going to my local grocery store, should I not take my kids there? I think a lot is jealousy. I am a bigger women (not huge) and I have no problem going there. I am confident to be surrounded by beautiful women, I have no problem letting my family either. People are so judgemental, that is life. When they start paying my bills, feeding, clothing and putting a roof over my kids head maybe then they can judge. Not everyone has the same point of views but it does not give them a right to bash other peoples parenting skills. Keep doing what you are doing Nicole I am sure your kids are awesome!

  • In reply to Shannon Downing:

    so true. i'm freaked about clothes for girls today. i grew up in the preppy, firenza sweater/layered, popped collars, high waisted jeans 1980's. granted, our use of aqua net and glitter make up surely contributed to the shit envorinment and deteriorating ozone, but we didn't know better.

    when i say, "pearl clutcher," i refer to a person who is shocked by reality. it's an unfortunate reality that girls are taught to be ashamed of their beauty and power. we are sexual beings and created to enjoy all the benefits of sex and sexuality. i understand different points of view and the reasons behind differening opinions, what i do not understand is the hateful and judgmental way some go about expressing them.

  • In reply to Shannon Downing:

    seriously, right? fashion today is revealing. i think it's only a bad thing if girls are raised to think that their only strength is their looks.

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    Articles like this are why I love reading your blogs. If you stopped speaking your mind, I'd stop reading. Much love!

  • In reply to Jessica Ward:

    thanks, jessica. truly. and i hope that people never stop disagreeing with me. i've got plenty to learn and need to hear other ideas and opinions.

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    My daughter, who is 7 now, got her first Future Hooters shirt before she turned 2!

  • In reply to Suzanne Dorbert:

    i think it's a funny baby shower gift for a pearl clutcher. might make her go into labor right there and ruin her floor length and high necked dress.

  • Given that it may take 18 plus years to raise a child, I highly doubt dining at Hooters will be the force that objectifies women in the mind of our children. lol No matter the age of exposure to reality, once the child grows to adolescence and decides to rebel against parental powers of meanness (because life's not fair)... these kids like all the ones before will be curious. Morals take time to instill. I personally believe time is all the luck you need :) ... AND an open mind.
    I think the picture is adorable!

  • In reply to dissipativesoul:

    thanks. seriously.....i think it takes 30 years, minimum. i know i was still leaning on my parents for guidance well into my 30's. it was my respect for their opinion that kept me coming back to them.

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    Nicole, I completely agree with you! You are my hero. This is a truly beautiful thing you did and this blog service to parents everywhere. It is so old-fashioned and backwards to feel ashamed of our sexuality or be judgmental of how other people live their lives. And it's even worse to force that way of thinking on children. Exposing kids to places like Hooters only expands their world view and teaches them to accept people from all walks of life.

    These negative comments you are receiving have less to do with the adorable picture of your daughter, and more to do with the mental walls some parents have built in order to keep their uptight fantasy world from crumbling. We need to work harder to knock down those walls :)

  • In reply to Rachel Padgett:

    thanks, rachel. i'm not heroic, i'm just LOUD and very opinionated. i also have common sense and a firm grasp on reality (i think). i worry so much that so many girls are taught to be ashamed of their sexuality and the power that is carries. why is this a bad thing or something to be ashamed of? we might as well shame them about wanting to eat....wait.....we do, don't we? our human-ness is AMAZING AND MIRACULOUS!

    i'm glad to know that people like you are trying to knock down those walls and being a force for positivity in the world. keep it up.

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    For the love of god... I wish people would stop opining about what other people should and should not do with their kids. I find that those who are critical/judgmental are the ones who end up as train wrecks themselves.

    I found the pic of "Sprite" to be hilarious... and I want to order one of those shirts for my 5 year old... right after I hunt down one of those "I'm too cute for math" t-shirts that got pulled from JC Penney.
    In my opinion, it's really no different than taking her pic in a Halloween costume or with a fake mustache drawn on her lip. The shirts are meant to be funny/cute... people take this stuff way too seriously.

  • In reply to Marybeth Schaeffer:

    ooooooooooooooo i heard about that t-shirt. talk about controversy. hahahahaha.

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    My God, I love you. Seriously. I have 2 boys, and have tried to raise them to be open and honest about sex, bodies, nudity, bodily fluids and such. If they are ashamed and don't feel like they can ask me, Lord only knows where they will get half-assed info. I struggle with age appropriate info, too, but am as honest as I can be. And BTW- I took them on their first visit to Hooters. Not their Dad. ME. Because if they see their Mom is okay with it, then there is nothing to be ashamed of, or thought of as seedy. They weren't grab-assing the waitresses or anything, because I raised them better than that. We can teach and preach and lecture- but they will never be able to form their own opinions if they don't EXPERIENCE. Hugs and many, many kisses, Nicole. Keep on keeping on. You inspire me.

  • In reply to Angie Wooters:

    thanks, angie. thanks for taking the time to comment and being a careful reader. as the parent of a boy, i think the same message is important to send. bodies are beautiful and it's ok to be attracted to women and have sexual feelings. it's teaching shame and guilt about these feelings that can lead to emotional difficulty and misdirected anger at women. i think about how my kids must be absorbing so much information and that they have NO context to understand this information. what must it all look like to them?

  • There's a lot going on here. You have children in an establishment with girls with asses and tits hanging out. Good food? There's better out there. This starts to fall in with the latest craze that is the Tilted Kilt which I have lovingly nicknamed the "hooker store". Do I need to bring my kids in these places with tits and ass hanging out for my kids to see? For thoughts to form in their head? I talk to my teenage boys about the actual skanky looking girls that go to their own schools. How their parents let them dress that way is beyond me!

    It is my job as the parent to guide and teach and hope that they make the right decisions. That doesn't mean I will throw it in their faces.

    If you are an adult and you need to make money and being a "hooter girl" is your only means of doing it then good luck. I have waited tables, bartended and it's all about the money. The more skin you are showing the more money you're making!

    We become a product of what our parents created. We try to do the reverse of what they did to us. We are the parent, not their friend. There is nothing wrong with making sure that our sons do not grow up with some fucked up idea about women in his head searching out porn when he is young.
    Keep them kids for as long as they should be kids.

  • In reply to Deanne:

    you make excellent points, denise! thanks. xo

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    In reply to Deanne:

    How could one possibly know anything about a person based on the way that person is dressed?

    Don't you think that by referring to the female anatomy in such rude terms, (such as "tit's", and "ass"), and then calling those females who choose to exercise their own personal freedoms terrible names (such as, "skanks", and "hookers") objectifies them further? Even further than they are (in your opinion) objectifying themselves?

    If you feel that what a Hooters Girl is doing is morally bankrupt, wouldn't you want teach your sons to respect them regaurdless, and to understand that hopefully one day they will (in your opinion) make better choices for themselves?

    How could you, or your sons, possibly know whether or not a man or a woman is a prostitute based on their chosen profession as a Hooters Girl, or Guy? Do you even realise the implications of such slanderous speach?

    For that matter, what shame is there in being a sex worker, an adult film actor, or an adult erotic film enthusiast? What shame is there in being an erotic model, or in nude bodies in general?

    How do you feel about topics such as sex, sexuality, erotica, and masturbation? Do you discuss these topics with your sons? How do you feel about them?

    When your sons were toddlers, and young children, what would you tell them if you saw them fondeling their penis'?

    Do you make certain that they have accurate information about female sexual anatomy, as well as having accurate information about themselves?

    Do they understand that sex is an act that goes beyond the scientific aspects of pregnancy in women, and that it is something we humans do for pleasure, and that that pleasure leads to orgasm, and that the orgasm of ones partner is just as important as their own?

    To never judge a book by it's cover is sage advice from a bygone era when to love one's neighbour as one loves themselves was taken to heart.

    In other, more direct terminology: By using slang, or swear words to describe what a woman or a man does for a living only demonstrates your lack of vocabulary, and the intollerance you harbour for those individuals who's life decisions don't fall in line with your opinions, and ideas of what is correct.

    You are inadvertantly teaching your sons to objectify women in an even worse way that what we are already objectified in the media; you are teaching your sons to be hatefull.

  • In reply to Alizarin Rose:

    thank you so much for making such great points here AND asking great questions. i try to keep my blogs between 500 and 800 words and make my point quickly, but comments like this are exactly what i hope for. agree or disagree, i'd like to think that what i say provokes a bit more critical thinking and willingness to listen. thanks for taking time to do this. the last thing you wrote is so powerful and true. of course that's only my opinion. xo

  • oh, but please make her stop with the fish face.

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    Once again, you knock it out of the park! Your fearless honesty is one of the reasons I worship you :)

  • In reply to LeAnn Lee:

    no worship. just more unicorn photo shop. xoxoxo leann.

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    Gaaaahhh! Okay, let me start this out by saying I appreciate and respect everyone's opinions, unless it interferes with mine. Sound familiar? Here's what I have to say... I work in the food service industry, and although it's not a glamorous job, it's the job that's supporting my family while I start the long road to psychology. So if anyone wants to judge me for the crap-work I do, it doesn't bother me. I respect the Hooters girls, I even respect the strippers, because if you ask me, sure, the skin industry is a controversial one, but it sells, and they're on the receiving end. They didn't become Hooters girls because their parents took them there when they were kids, they became Hooters girls because they have bills to pay, and if they could wear a tee-shirt and make crap, or wear a tank top and make bank, why not do it? Most are on their journey to somewhere else and this is just the means to get there. I really think that people who have problems with Hooters girls are just jealous because they were too homely to work there while getting through college. :)

  • In reply to Jessica McGowan:

    i've been in food service on an off since i was 16. it's such hard work. remembering everything, staying organized and dealing with workplace dynamics and sometimes difficult customers. i only wish i had the bod for hooters/tilted kilt. i'm a good server and i'd make a killing.

  • Great article! I think you have some great points.

  • In reply to darrenc:

    thanks and keep reading. and thanks for calling it an article. makes me sound like a real journalist instead of a blathering blogger.

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    1) I agree with every god damn thing you said. I was raised in such a household, headed by a mother who is an OBGYN nurse so sex was something normal we could talk about and my movie choices were never screened because there might be a boob or two. In fact, I just had my buddy watch the original "Fright Night" with me bc it was one of my favorite movies as a kid. As we all know about scary movies, there's a fear:boobie ratio. I am neither a mass murderer in a hockey mask nor am I afflicted by psychological sexual dysfunction. I love sex, I understand sex, I understand how it relates to me and my choices and my attractions. And I don't believe my healthy relationship with my sexuality is because I'm some sort of magical being with super sexy powers (although I've been accused...I KID!) :) It's because it was never made to be voodoo. When a movie involved a sexually depraved act, it was explained to me (if I didn't already you said, kids understand more than we think they do). I know I'm healthier psychologically because I had all those extra years to come to terms with sexuality. I didn't have to figure it out when the hormones started taking over and things were hard enough. I understood before I could be easily confused by being a teenager. I will give my children that same advantage.
    2) I give you 10 extra points that are useful for absolutely nothing for your John Lennon reference. In fact, it is my plan if I have a boy for his name to be Lennon :)

  • In reply to CrimsonAnanda:

    crimson - i am so glad that you were raised with healthy and open attitudes about sex and sexuality. the more people out there who are trying to use common sense and honesty when parenting, the greater chance our world will see less hatred, bigotry and judgment. and FRIGHT NIGHT? the original was one of my faves as well. scared the shit out of me.

  • It's funny how so many people are opposed to the picture and the Hooters girls but expose their children to their own immoral sexual habits/escapades at home.

  • In reply to Gem0124:

    mixed messages abound. i am guilty of this as well. sigh. when will i not suck?

  • Nicole - You respect the women at Hooter's because they have a "high tolerance" for rudeness and disrespectful comments? You agree that objectification of women isn't the greatest thing but you accept it as reality? IS reality because you are complicit in creating and perpetuating it !!! First through your admiration of the victims of that reality; second, through your acceptance of that reality and unwillingness to change it. So when your daughters are victims of sexual discrimination or sex-trafficking you're just going to accept that?

  • In reply to kelly:

    PS. There is a difference between teaching healthy sexuality and endorsing objectification of women.

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    In reply to kelly:

    The whole concept of the objectification of women is entirely nebulous because it is so deeply rooted in individual, cultural, philosophical, and religious ideals.

    How are Hooters Girls, and Guys victims? For that matter, how is being a server at a very popular national chain eatery connected in any way to sexual discrimination, sex trafficking, or the well being of one's children?

    If anything, Hooters is dicriminatory only because the serving staff are predominatly caucasian females, while one can be sure that the cooking staff is predominatly male.

    Insofar as rude diners are concerned, clearly they were very badly brought up.

    As an independent unmarried single mother, and former exotic dancer, I have to say; that for as feminist as you may think you are, you are still falling into the age old circular thought process of blaming the woman.

  • In reply to kelly:

    great points kelly. i don't think sex trafficing is a part of this but i understand how intense your feelings are about this. i do accept the reality of the objectification of women and t and i guess you are right, i perpetuate itchoosing to support a restaurant that objectifies women, but i didn't create it. sexuality was created with humans and are, have always been and will always be sexual beings. my point is that teaching kids about the real world and healthy attitudes about sexuality is important. deviant behavior and sexual problems often stem from feelings of shame either from being taught this shame or abuse. both things are terrible. sad. i worked for many years as a therapist in a residential treatment program and a school with children who were severely sexually abused. the stories would make your stomach turn. it changed my life. it taught me that hating it and spending my energy being angry wouldn't change it. we will have to agree to disagree and that's just how it is. hooters may perpetuate objectification, but it also encourages appreciation. a beautiful body is nothing to be ashamed of. your comment about sex trafficing fascinates me. maybe catalogs featuring the latest fashions and swimsuits are also responsible for sex trafficing because they feature fit and beautiful female bodies? the only way to take sexuality out of the equation is to stop being human.

    i DO appreciate your comments and your obvious passion. it's good to have strong opinions. THAT i understand.

  • Alizarin & Nicole.... the deeply rooted nature of the objectification of women is at the heart of my post...this objectification has to stop being the norm and women must take the steps to eliminate it as such. It sounds as if you both have the perspective "if you can't beat them , join them" in that sense, you are creating it. When treating a woman as a sex object becomes acceptable in an innocuous setting such as a burger joint (via leering and rude comments), then treating a woman as a sex object in other settings becomes justified and reinforced. These are the same attitudes that are behind sex trafficking. It's not the "featuring of fit and beautiful bodies," it's the idea that women have no value and that sexual intimidation is acceptable. Please read the book "Half the Sky" and become enlightened on this subject. It is important for women everywhere.

  • Oh heavens. I do LOVE this topic! Nikki- let me first say that I think the way you are raising your kids is fantastic. It's how I want to raise mine. I want them to always feel comfortable talking to me about anything and everything; especially sex.

    That said, I have to address kelly and her antiquated feminist beliefs.
    I consider myself a feminist. I believe that women are by far the superior gender and that if we were given the same opportunities as men, we'd rule the world. But alas, this is not the case.

    Why? I honestly think we're too ashamed of our sexuality. Part of being a woman is our sexuality. There is nothing more beautiful in all of creation than the female human body. Why?
    I am sure it's beauty isn't meant to be covered up and hidden. I am sure it isn't meant to be a source of shame and embarrassment.
    The beauty and allure of the female body is meant to be celebrated and adored.
    Women who work in the "sex industry" have the right idea, if you ask me. They are using their Goddess given traits and abilities to take control of their lives. All the while, reducing males to near helpless fools.

    Men are powerless when it comes to female sexuality, and I think women who use that to their advantage are brilliant.
    Now- do not misunderstand me. I am in no way saying that women are only good for their sexuality and that we have no worth otherwise.
    That couldn't be further from the truth.

    Women are powerful creatures. We make life. Sure, men have to fertilize our eggs in order for that process to begin, but that's where their role ends. We grow people in our bodies. We are hostesses to these parasitic beings for nearly 10 months, and rarely do we realize what an incredibly powerful ability that is.

    I believe if all women truly learned and accepted their amazing powers, that our world would be such an incredible place.
    We are mothers, sisters, friends, caregivers, lovers, creators, dreamers, goddesses and so much more.
    If some women choose to use their bodies to their advantage, good for them. My only hope for them is that they not forget their real power as women. I hope they don't forget that being sexy and beautiful isn't all that they're capable of, but that it is something to be proud of, and if it is their dream to be a Hooters Girl, then so be it.
    I see no shame in that. As long as they're living happily, and always being true to themselves.

    I've always said that if I had the body, I'd want nothing more than to be an exotic dancer or performer. There's SO MUCH power to be had in such a position. Why wouldn't someone want to do it?

    Again I thank you, Nikki, for not being afraid to tackle such a touchy subject! I truly admire you as a woman, as a mother, and as a teacher. Thank you!!

  • @kantal13...Sadly, you and Nicole are fusing together the appreciation of the female body (by the owner of that body) with "hey chick, nice tits" (a reliance on a man). You say that "if some women choose to use their bodies to their advantage, good for them. My only hope for them is that they not forget their real power as women." It will be very easy for these women to forget their real power because now you and men (society) are glorifying their sexual aspects not the aesthetic aspects. This whole idea that you and other women cannot do anything to change the system is ridiculous. If you think women are so powerful, then you should also believe that they can change the system. And part of making those changes is to stop pandering to the sexual objectification of women and to stop believing that your only power is power over men.

  • In reply to kelly:

    Kelly, save your breath. Or your fingers. They are not going to get it.
    No matter what it said, it's TITS and ASS!!!
    They are in costumes, that look like what?( hoochies )Suggested by who? (men)

    When age appropriate I discuss what I need to with my boys. They don't hate. They are not going to see women as TIT's and ASS. And whoever they marry hopefully will not be some f'n skanky lookin' thing that wears clothing that resembles everyones favorite eating establisment here. Pretty, whatever, nice body, whatever. That is not the point.

    I have ready every one of these posts and I think what the fuck are you people thinking??? I don't know how old your kids are but when they are in high school and start to mingle with the opposite sex, god help them.
    Oh, I was an exotic dancer, good for you...I talk to my kids about everything when they are toddlers, good for you. Be a fucking parent, not a whack job women's lib I have power over men...
    really, then use your f'n brain's and not your TIT's and ASS.

  • In reply to Deanne:

    confusing, slightly angry post. i like it. i really do.

  • sex is natural. sex is beautiful. bodies are beautiful, all shapes and sizes. bodies are made for sex. no? then how come the only differences between men and women are their sexual organs? i'm personally more offended by violence.

    would i go to the male version of "hooters?" sure, why not. maybe i'll open one. let's call it "dick's place."

  • In reply to JennyD:

    thanks for commenting. for real. ;)

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    In reply to JennyD:

    Sex is one of my hobbies, I wish it was legal in Missouri to make money that way.

    You just hit it on the "head", so to speak. A hairy chest, an erect penis, and some naughty role play spell out my idea of a good time.

    If there were some Hooters Guys in town, or something comprable, I would be there every chance I had, with my four year old son so he could watch and learn a thing or two from Mother Dear.

    Oh if only there was a Hooters nearby, I would take him there, but alas, this Hot Momma depends upon public transportation.

  • allright, i can't get this topic out of my mind. i'm bothered by the "objectifying" comments. what, really, is objectifying?

    do we, as women, allow ourselves to be objectified when we wear makeup? do our hair? why do we dress nicely? none of these things have to do with being healthy or making ourselves live longer. looking good gets you better service in any store (try it, see what happens), it gets you that job, it gets you respect. aren't we then using our bodies to our advantage?

    yes, i'm slightly obsessed by this topic. ;)

  • In reply to JennyD:

    good questions. it's not simple is it?

  • crap-tastic food at tgi'mc funsters + women with their butts and breasts hanging out. easy. it's good ole' american ass and frozen make fried wing slinging awash with some nasty beer. it's not reciprocal in the sense that men are dressed the same way and serving too. i love men. love women. dig a sexuality talk with one of my kids or the opportunity to encourage it. i fail to see the connection of establishments that have succeeded in making money off of cheap food and cheap gimmicks. not an ideal for any of my kids to work in or for whatever reason. not for the obvious but for so much more. it's not good, honest food with great service. if you leave it at that, you miss the gimmick they rely on to pay their investors. just my opinion.
    in all, dinner at a hooters has little effect compared to your example as a whole. since you are NOT a hooters girl, (since they don't use the term- women), your 'atta girl post to them seems to seek some pats on the back for just taking your kids into a non-pearl clutcher hangout. an oscar the grouch observation about those of us who love sex, promote education re sexuality and would not dig on the idea of our kids donning hooters garb and considering that a positive part of the sexuality we hope they choose to incorporate into their lives.

    as real as you want to get, a uniform is a uniform. just because someone dresses a certain way, doesn't make it so. true. it does make it damn confusing and reality doesn't change how you get treated. dave chappelle has a great bit about it. google dave chappelle cop uniform.

    shannon peterson
    aka-astrid. i would have used my real name in the profile but thought i would get to enter it. down with trolls.

  • Guys oogle women. Women oogle guys. Watching TV my 71 yr old mother-in-law has been known to say a few times "He can put his shoes under my bed anytime." Does she say it because he's a good man, a great father, great provider, great soul? Hell no. She says it because he's freakin hot and even at her age she appreciates the male physique. Is she objectifying him? Sure she is. Is she immoral or a bad person for it? I certainly don't think so. I think it's cute. She's not out raping, pillaging and plundering. She doesn't see men as objects in general. She's appreciating, and I don't see any harm done.

    The sad (and wrong) part of this whole topic is when ANYONE believes they only have one avenue, one talent, one option and in a weird kinda way, objectify themselves. Regardless of our circumstances, we're responsible for our own choices, and have to be happy with those choices whether the rest of the world is or not. If my daughter wants to be a Hooters girl or an artist, more power to her. If my son wants to be a trash collector or a doctor, more power to him. They're the ones that have to live their lives, regardless of who is oogling them and regardless of who is or isn't cheering them on.

    And personally, the female body AND male body are beautiful things. I will look all day at both, in appreciation of a fine specimen. Did I objectify? Oops.

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    Nicole Knepper, I think you are my evil twin. I get it. I love the comments where the parent says " It's not my choice" and the kid is supposed to do what the parent says....HEY WAKE UP!! Not about you MOM!! Not your choice! They are people of their own. I know SHOCKING! Support them, love them and don't judge them.

  • My friend, you know I adore you...(MonicaBurrhus on fb)
    I didn't read every single post...but I do want to say right now that I see women on a daily basis that have more hanging out than the girls at Hooters. They are wearing short shorts...yes...their asses are not really hanging out...nor are their tits. Short and tight...yes...but inappropriate? Not really...Not these days...
    I worked at a Bar a couple of years ago as a second job, being a single mother of 5 kids working 2 jobs and going to school...did I wear low cut tops and tight jeans? You're damn right I did...because I knew what would bring in money to feed my children. I do NOT feel guilty for that either. And these little girls working at Hooters...they are doing what they have to do to get themselveds through college...or to take care of their child...and good for them. They have to put up with assholes and they still do a damn good job and hold their heads up high and do what they need to do. No one should judge them for that...and no one should judge you either.

  • Nicole, Thanks for sharing how you feel on this topic. People think that because I dress in shorts and tank tops that I am trying to show off...the simple truth is I hate cloths. My four-year-old daughter feels the same. I refuse to teach her that the human body is something to be ashamed of. Tolerances is one of the most important things our children can learn. Curiosity is human nature, when asked a question you better have a better response than that is gross don't touch it. This is my opinion a mother of two. four-year-old princess and twenty-year-old male rock star in the making. Love reading all your snark keep it up!!!!

  • Jumping in here from my taking-a-second-look blogsite to yours, am clearly out of my element. I mean, being male and being 80 should disqualify my presence among such an august body of modern mothers. But still I can't help wonder if anyone here is able to consider the pre-Feminist moms of my time (30s - 60s) as anything other than objectified artisans in a male dominated age? My daughters don't and I figure few here will either. Not to play that old In-My-Day card, I'm really interested in this question: Can a modern woman find anything of value in that post-Victorian culture of mothers ranging from mine to the fictional June Cleaver to the idolized Jackie Kennedy? In other words, as compared with today's brightest career-moms? Hope that doesn't sound like a loaded question, but the answers here might help me survive my next dinner with my daughters...!

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    They should be commended for their "high tolerance to rude people"?? Ugh, seriously? I think they should get it together, buy their own restaurant, and be the boss. It's one thing to be REQUIRED to wear such garb, and yet another to choose it for yourself. Let's not forget that if these same girls chose to take their top off at the beach for their own natural pleasure, they would be arrested; but in this case, if someone is making money off partially exposed breasts, then it must be OK. So, how is that any different from any other sort of exploitation?

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    Check out the baby hooters girl on this link! Awesome!

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