I’ve decided that instead of hiding out behind the computer, I’m going to use my internet/Facebook celebrity to obtain alcoholic beverages whenever possible. I’m too technologically stunted and intimidated to figure out how to profit any other way.
I’ve done interviews, podcasts and what-not and so-forth, but I’ve been hesitant to take my idiocy to the next level. You might wonder if there ARE indeed different levels of idiocy, and I can assure you that there are many levels. My goal is to work my way up to the tippy top level of idiot, and when I put my mind to something, I do it.
So, as Paul Crik would say, “This is it, FUCK IT, it is what it is,” I’ve decided to accept the invitation to be a guest on, “Dates with Ever: A Video Talk Show about Comedy and Dating,” this Sunday, at the Hidden Shamrock here in Chicago. Here is a bit of Miss Ever. Enjoy and don’t continue reading until you do, because what I want to say requires you to watch it.
Humor is subjective. Everybody knows this. A comic and fellow writer here on Chicagonow, Scott King, shared a quote on his page that I love. “A comedian memorizes jokes and tells them, a comic can make anything funny.” – Moe Howard of the Three Stooges
TROOF! There is humor in everything if you choose to see it. I realized pretty early on in my career as a parent that if I didn’t laugh, I’d be crying, non-fucking-stop. Exhaustion and loneliness were the biggest hurdles that I had to overcome as a new mom. The good thing about being too pooped to party was that I became my own best friend, wandering around, talking to my tiny baby as if he completely understood what I was saying.
I’d ask him all sorts of questions about the meaning of life, or why he wouldn’t sleep. I asked him why his poop only leaked out of his diaper when I was wearing work clothes, or on the new couch. I made up new lyrics to songs by the Backstreet Boys about his spit up, poop and blood curdling screams. Of course I had to answer myself, right? The kid was busy pooping, crying, eating or staring at me as if I was the most interesting woman in the world. Because I had his full attention, I kept on making funny, and you know how that turned out, right?
When asked by the producers of Wood Sugars Comedy to come prepared with some stories about my dating life, I initially froze. I’ve been married for 17 years, and the last date I had with anyone besides my husband was in 1991. Maybe I wasn’t the right guest for the show? I racked my brains for an entire day until I realized that some of the early dates with my husband were so bad, that I would have more than enough material! He was the laziest, cheapest, poorest guy that I ever dated, but he was also the smartest, cleverest and most funny man I had ever met.
It gets better. Not only is the show the weekend of my wedding anniversary, but there is free booze. DAY DRINKING! Yesh! I danced the sweetest interpretive dance to Kid’s Bop 13 while sporting my yoga pants and slurping cold coffee.
So, if you feel like it and are in the vicinity of Chi-town this Sunday, join us at The Hidden Shamrock, 2723 N. Halstead St. at 3 o’clock PM. I can guarantee that I’ll be showered, buzzed on Bloody Mary’s and totally excited to be talking trash about the sucktastic effort my husband made at romancing me in the days of yesteryear.
I don’t care how hot it is, I’ll be giving away FREE HUGS!
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