No one gets out alive. NO ONE.

Reece Witherspoon. I love that talented bitch. In the world of celebrity moms, she is my favorite. Remember how her Vanessa Lutz kicked pedophile ASS in "Freeway?" No? Well, you're missing out. Watch it.

I love movies and I love me some smutty gossip rags. They distract me while I'm waiting for the doctor or getting ripped off by the people at the oil change place who always tell me I need a new goddamn air filter. I especially love the idiocy and narcissism of the celebrity world.

I like how when they have a babies, they act like they are the first to do so and that we NEED to hear about their unique experience. Then they let us in on the secret of how to get rid of all that accumulated back fat when you only have a three part time chefs and trainers and nannies and.....yeah, thanks guys.

Back to Reece, why am I writing about her? Here is a favorite Reece quote, "If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them."

TRUE DAT, Ms. Spoon! But my very favorite has to be when she was quoted as saying this; "There is something timeless and important about making people laugh, about being the bright spot in their day."

I laugh all day. I have to. I choose to. I see everything as potentially hilarious. Oscar Wilde quipped about this when he said, "Life's too important to be taken seriously."

TRUE DAT, Mr. Wilde, it IS too important. It is my opinion that taking things too seriously can be as dangerous as not taking them seriously enough. That is why I weave laughter into your day using my potty mouth. I do the yelling for all of us, as we spend way too much time with our kids. I try to strike a balance. Sometimes I fail.

My daughter recently had a meltdown because it was joke day at school and she didn't have a joke to tell the class. The only joke book in the house was called Chicken jokes and puzzles, circa 1977. What do you get when you cross a baby chick with an alley cat? A PEEPING TOM!

"Mom, what's a peeping tom," asks the wee girl?

HELL NO! I decided not to go THERE with my 7 year old so it was off to the library, bookstore and the internet. We were on a mission to find the perfect joke. The perfect joke for a 7 year old girl on the autism spectrum who is the most concrete thinker I have ever met. Seriously, I'd rather make a fucking diorama with live rodents and insects at this point.

I realized during this process just how much room there is for interpretation in humor, not just for people with communication disorders but also for all of us. Even in a group as homogenous as mothers, I have found it a challenge when people get upset with something I post on the fan page because as much as I'd like to please everyone, it ain't gonna happen.

The title of my blog and fan page is something that I always hope cautions new readers. Humor is subjective. In my world, nothing is off limits. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS! Nothing and nobody. If you don't like it, feel free to fuck the fuck off (Thanks for that, Teppi).

That being said, I love me some Reece, a woman who doesn't take herself too seriously and at the end of the day, realizes that no one gets out alive. She also indirectly mocks the Kardashians.

Now personally, I'd mock the ever living shit out of those crazy Kardashians if I knew what they were up to but I have to be honest, I just can't keep up.

Hear me with the guys of Cinemajaw. [](


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  • I feel so honored that you mentioned my fave quote. I read your blog because I love to laugh and the fact that you DON'T GIVE A SHIT. It's perfect. Thanks.

  • Oh, and don't forget the Coach necklaces, the puma slippers and jordan shoes you can get from your first poster. I so love when I get those legit comments.

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