EPIC Parenting

Heroic, majestic and impressively great are the words used to define EPIC. Some people are so epic I can't get enough of being around them. Epic people make you want to be better but they aren't necessarily heroic, majestic or impressively great. Sometimes epic-ness is subtle. Sometimes it is not.

Being a parent is daily bursts of subtle epic-ness. It is the common thread that keeps all of us sane yet we look for the mountain-top epic-ness, often ignoring the idea that the key to surviving and thriving in this life is merely just taking the next breath. Sometimes as a parent you have to give your children the next breath so that they can go on.

I'm not a fan of parenting websites in general. Most books, websites, blogs and even pamphlets on parenting don't even scratch the surface of how completely epic it is to be a parent yet I keep reading. I want to be an epic mom.

Don't play the result. I read an interview with Michael J. Fox, a few years ago and he said those words. DON'T PLAY THE RESULT. We all know how it ends, right? We are born, we live and we die. Life is epic, no matter how it's lived and no matter how someone tells me to live so why is do l keep seeking some sort of epic, majestic and impressively great advice or wisdom on the right way to live, love or raise my children? The result won't be favorable if I don't focus on the process.

Reading those words reminded me that the epic-ness of my life with my kids lies in the moment. Each moment has the potential to be epic but if I'm not actually there in that moment, then I am merely existing as I await the next grand gesture or memory making moment that they might remember when I'm pushing up daisies.

I remember my mother continuing to smile through my fumblings during midnight mass on Christmas, her hands spotted with dried candle wax. That had to hurt. They way those hands gently scratched my back to soothe me to sleep after getting my heart broken, and seeing her face as she watched my children being born or when I looked for her in the bleachers while I was competing in a sporting event. I remember watching her gently bury our bloodied puppy in the backyard after he was hit by a car, walking my colicky son in circles for hours, but most of all, I can still see her kneeling at my father's feet and holding his face between her hands when the pain of his cancer made him cry.

None of these things seemed epic at the time. I have always expected epic-ness from her, yet because Mother's day is this Sunday these images have been flooding my soul. Mother's day is Sunday. How do you let the people you love know that an epic gesture isn't necessary while still acknowledging their epic-ness? I have an epic mom. I can tell you that no material item or words can possibly convey the epic-ness of my feelings for her.

The night my father died was the only night that week that I slept at my own house. My subtle epic mom duties had been neglected; laundry, cleaning, shopping and spending time with my husband and son. I arrived at my parent's home about an hour after my father had died. My mom had sat at his bedside holding his hand and rubbing his arm and cheek so that when I said my goodbyes I would not be touching a cold, hard hand or face. She didn't learn that in a book.

Once again, this Mother's Day, I'm going to tell her that I think she's epic. But it never seems like enough.

Happy almost Mother's Day to you all! Be epic.

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  • Excellent! Happy Mother's Day to you!

  • In reply to Vickiesb:

    thank jous bery mooch. happy momma's to you as well.

  • In reply to Vickiesb:

    Way to make me bawl my eyes out!!! You usually make me laugh my ass off! I lost both my parents to the big ugly C...my mom when I was 24 and my dad when I was 36 (2 ago). My son turns one on Friday and I can't even count the times I wanted to turn to them for parenting advice in the past year. Son is still alive and thriving so I feel I am doing a decent job but what I wouldn't give to have the chance to tell them one more time I was sorry for being a shit and they did an A+ job parenting. Hope you had a great Mother's Day and spent some QT with your mom.

  • I love this. Epic. Terrific concept, so simple, yet so easy to lose in the day-to-day. Your Mom sounds like someone who knows her way around the Mom block -- just like you. Today I struggle with the question of how to celebrate Mother's Day when both my Mom and child are dead. I wrote about it to help me figure it out. My own little attempt at being epic. Here's to epic this Mother's Day Weekend.

  • In reply to smquirke:

    I'm sorry for your terrible loss. Pamper yourself. Take a day of relaxation and great memories, and have a good Mother's day. Happy Mother's Day to you, Mary Tyler Mom!

  • In reply to smquirke:

    will be thinking of you, luhv. you celebrate what you have and who you are.

  • Happy Mother's Day

  • In reply to gwill:

    thank you. mean it.

  • Happy Mother's Day to you, Nikki!

  • In reply to kantal113:

    and to you lovely karin.

  • Beautiful Blog. Happy Mother's Day! To the EPIC mom who wrote this blog and her EPIC mother who gave her life!

  • In reply to LkBarnes29:

    thank you indy...happy day to you.

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