Stupid Genius

This is my blog so I express my opinion and you know what else is so much fun about that? I'll tell you. Opinions can be wrong so I'm just winning everywhere here. Of course this is only my opinion so....

Lately things have been pretty busy around our crib so when I get the mail I just toss it on a desk in the foyer and go about my business. When I decided to tackle the pile of paper last week it made me rowdy pissed. JUNK AND MORE JUNK along with the bills we can barely afford to pay. The bills didn't irritate me nearly as much as the ever loving mound of crap. It's not just the waste of paper that I grieve but the waste of potential.

It is safe to assume that most of the marketing "professionals" have a college degree and average to above average mental stability in order to hold a job that pays them to perform this skill (if you could call it that) of marketing. I mean they have an official association. They do! It's called The American Marketing Association and it defines marketing like this: "The activity, set of instructions and processes for creating, communicating and delivering and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners and society at large."

I think the problem with marketing these days is that these professionals are forgetting just who the society at large actually IS. At the grocery store when I buy Jif peanut butter I get a fucking printed coupon for Skippy. Just this week I received a sample of a Pampers diaper, coupons for baby products, a free parenting magazine about INFANTS and crap from the security company that I already USE trying to sell me their services. My youngest kid is almost 7. Thanks for nothing assclowns.

Mass marketing is stupid. My opinion and since this IS my blog I'll just say it again because I have a degree in redundant redundancy. MASS MARKETING IS STUPID.

I am busy, broke and struggling just like most people in a down economy. My life is wonderful yet chaotic. I don't have time for bullshit but I can tell you that I would MAKE time for things that would actually accomplish the task of "creating, communicating, and delivering and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners and society at large," but it's just not happening. Give me coupons and deals that regular schlubs like me can actually use! I went years on the Go Daddy host site without any advertising or marketing because not one offer represented anything that I thought would interest my readers or help us in any way.

I want to send a message loud and clear to suckwads contacting me and that message is to KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF. Me and my readers can't afford Botox, teeth whitening, personal training, sex enhancement pills, plastic surgery, expensive vacations (or any vacation for that matter), designer clothing or any other high priced item and I won't sell you the copyright or trademark just so you can bastardize the message with your greedy, insincere garbageness.

WE are struggling to get through the goddamn month and many of us are single income families, single parents, military families, or working and living at the poverty or near poverty level. We have special needs children, aging parents and overwhelming financial debt and personal responsibility. We need laughter and sleep and are either too stressed out or too tired for sex. My kid needs braces more than I need Botox and believe me I NEED BOTOX.

I look like one of those wrinkly Chinese dogs and my teeth are dandelion yellow coffee stained because I'm so tired that I function thanks to caffeine. My kid won't get braces until I get a job which I have been trying to do for a year now with no luck and who wants to hire a rumpled heap of exhausted, chubby, hot mess in an ill fitted Wal-Mart special suit since all the false and crap advertising shows the together woman of the new millennium juggling a career and family and still taking everyone on a goddamn Disney cruise?

Send us something we can use, money saving offers that are real, offer us incentives to support your product by supporting our causes and for shit sake PAY ATTENTION to what you are doing and why it isn't working because you are killing trees and crushing spirits with your ignorance to the majority of Americans who are not buying what you are selling.

Seriously, a monkey could do it better.

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  • LOL!

    Let me tell you, reading this blog is hilarious. I love how honest you are. But let me also say...this is the best form of birth control, EVER!

    Nice rant.


  • In reply to JMilk:

    tee hee. i already told you what i think of you you crazy brilliant spaz.

  • In reply to JMilk:

    Well effin' said. I think most Americans are in your position and if we aren't broke when you really do the math, it's only because we didn't buy all those stupid things people market and sell.

  • In reply to JMilk:

    Well effin' said. I think most Americans are in your position after they do the honest math and if they're not broke it's only because they're not buying the junk that marketers are marketing/selling.

  • In reply to JMilk:

    P.S. And I did a little bit of marketing in my day, including telemarketing (yes!) during the college years. Sorry.

  • In reply to JMilk:

    Everytime I read your blog or FB status i fucking love you more. I don't know how you feel after writing that shit, but I sure as hell feel better! Keep preachin sista!

  • In reply to JMilk:

    Great post, as always. You are one of my most favorite people on the internetz and I'm so grateful for you and MWDAS. Your post made me think of this quote that I saw yesterday:

  • In reply to JMilk:

    You make my Beer soaked, cursing, broke ass, mom heart sing with drunken joy!! Thanks for saying all the things I'm do fu&@ing lazy to say myself...Loves Ya!!

  • In reply to JMilk:

    I absolutely fucking adore you. I wish I had the balls to write like this at your age. I am a grandma who drinks and swears and there is nothing better after a long day than to settle down with some xanax, a couple of benadryl and a beer and read your blog. I loves me some MWDAS. Thank you

  • In reply to JMilk:

    i don't look at mass mailings (they go right in the recycle bin), i don't watch commercials (thank you, g-d, for dvr), and online ads are just white noise to me... if a company wants me to use their product, they're gonna have to send it to me. i'll try it. i got no problem with that. and if i like it, i'll buy it.

  • In reply to JMilk:

    If they send a postage paid envelope, I always stuff their trash back in the envelope and send it back to them, sometimes a put a note in there to please throw your own trash away, this seems to curtail them from adding me to the next mailing.

  • In reply to JMilk:

    Well, not only do I get all the snail mail and email I got a collect call from a prisoner in a Texas jail...and I live in Ohio. Go, me!
    Upside, I am happy to find that I am not the only mwdas :))

  • I f*&king love you!!!!

  • In reply to katatak55:

    thanks yous fur saying that. it feels nice. thanks for reading. i owe you $ for allowing me to vent. it's like therapy but cheaper. i'll buy you a beer.

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