Hot Drug Time Machine

I have to go to my kid's school for a meeting today. I want to bring this drawing and have a chit chat with whoever is responsible for the non-sensical black and white thinking here. It's true that drugs can be bad. It's true that some people are alcoholics and that cigarettes are plants mixed with poison.

It's also true that in this world there is a concept called MODERATION and a color called GRAY (grey if you want to fight about it), that is often used as a metaphor for having some flexibility in thinking. It would be a super blast to start running my mouth to my first grader about the political, economic, historical and bullshitical details of just how and why booze and cigs are as American as baseball and apple pie but I'll save that lecture for NEVER.

"Mom you are DRUGGING!" followed by tears is not the appropriate reaction for my 6 year old to if I choose to enjoy a glass of wine and while I'm at it I also disagree with the idea that hot dogs are as dangerous as drugs. If the school doesn't like my kids eating nitraesicles or canned fruit then they can help out at the end of the month when cash is in short supply here. What? I know, right? They don't have the cash either.

On the occasion lips and assholes in a plastic casing is my meal choice, I like 'em with mustard, onions and JUMBO sized. I mean seriously I thought sending my kids to school meant that I didn't have to do ANY work raising them and teaching them stuff. I want my money back.

For those reading who think I'm serious I can only say that I am. I'm dead serious. I can sing the praises of the school for the awesomeness but when it comes to these gray areas I feel slappy, screamy, stabby, sulky and stompy. When I was a freeloading anklebiter hot dogs were a mainstay of my diet and my mom threw down a manhattan after her water broke with me. Am I saying these are good things? I'm just trying to figure out why it has to be so black and white. Times have changed. The stuff my kids are learning while still in single digits is stuff I didn't learn until I was old enough to put the information into context.

I won't really do anything about it. I'm pretty happy about the education my spawn are receiving and I'm glad the schools are introducing these things to our kids earlier rather than later before they are at a pack a day in junior high. I worry because I won't always know or be able to process this stuff with my kids when most of time I'm totally blindsighted by the fact that they are receiving the information at all!

My concern is only that information is presented in a manner that encourages further discussion and open minded dialogue and not a knock on the door from Officer Friendly trying to arrest me for washing down my wiener dinner with pinot grigio, right?

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  • "I mean seriously I thought sending my kids to school meant that I didn't have to do ANY work raising them and teaching them stuff. I want my money back."
    My thought exactly! Thanks for saying it out loud.

  • back when my son was in grade school, he sat in the library with a teacher because I refused to allow him to attend the D.A.R.E. program. Hitler Youth revisited...

  • this is so true! :) very well put, couldn't have said it better myself...maybe i could have, but we aren't supposed to brag rite?! lol

  • Love, love, love it!! My youngest, with two weeks of a DARE program under his belt, busted me enjoying my puffer in the bathroom...poor kid was in shock~he thought I quit the cigs two years prior...after sharing his disgust in me he pulled out the DARE propaganda..."grey area" has a way to make us 'addicts' a bit more creative :)

  • MOMMY WATER GETS 2 OLIVES. JUST SAYIN. Growing up in the Chicago burbs with 2nd houses in Wisconsin..um, yes...i WAS the designated driver for my parents by age 15. Come to think of it, this probably isn't the best direction for erin smith art to head. LOVE...and agree wholeheartedly.

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    "I'm just trying to figure out why it has to be so black and white. Times have changed. The stuff my kids are learning while still in single digits is stuff I didn't learn until I was old enough to put the information into context."

    And when I needed context explained I asked my parents. My kids spent so much time in D.A.R.E. learning about drugs and alcohol that I had to re-educate my little cherub that drugs meant cocaine and marijuana and alcohol meant beer and wine. No one told her that - they just scared her to death with the generic terms without explaining what was what. At least I got to teach her about moderation from that.

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    Interesting... times must have changed because I don't remember DARE being staunch in its presentation. We all knew the officer who did the presentations (I'm from a very small community) and what I recall is that we had fairly frank discussions about drugs and alcohol. Sure, we messed with our parents sometimes about it but on the whole we knew what was going on.

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