I knew there was something "different" about my daughter from the time she was a wee squiggler. Over time, intensive therapy and diagnosis my acceptance level has increased although there are days when I want to throw a bitch slap at people with "normal" children who don't have to deal with the meltdowns and stress that literally make my gut feel like it's full of shrapnel and acid. FUCK AUTISM AND ITS SPECTRUM OF DISORDERS.
I've written about it before and my opinion hasn't changed as far as knowing that a diagnosis doesn't change anything about our daily life. This morning's blood curdling screams over the pain of hair brushing or the stress over finding clothing that feels right on her sensitive little skin was frustrating as usual for her. It is her pain that wrecks me. I try to stay in the moment. The future is like a mocking bully of a whore that drags me into the dark place. Breathe. One day at a time.
My sister-mom muse, Dawn Barnsdale writes and educates about autism. She has a sense of humor about the subject as well as a passion for spreading awareness about the condition. Autism has many faces and many of the faces you see are the ones of the family members who speak for those who can't speak for themselves. Dawn is also funny. She's not a little funny, she's laugh out loud smart ass, drowning in the reality of day to day life with autism HIFUCKINGLARIOUS. She also likes wine and chicken nuggets. I get that. I get her. Big time. [http://dawnsramblings.posterous.com/raising-awareness-not-celebrating. ](http://dawnsramblings.posterous.com/are-you-aware-of-awareness)Subscribe. Ramblings of a Wineaux Mom.
I try to find something in everyone and everything that I like. It's more challenging than being negative. Anyone can find fault. We are all flawed. I like the way Dawn's last blog was about NOT celebrating autism. A family with a special needs kid knows no other way. That doesn't mean that every family with a special needs child is all hearts and flowers and flooded with acceptance. Love doesn't make you blind but it makes you strong. Dawn is a pro at this. She finds the funny and the positive yet doesn't lose focus on the issue she is addressing. As a writer I can tell you that this is very difficult. Weaving humor into subjects and trying to keep the attention of an audience that just wants to laugh is tricky shit.
It's Autism awareness month. For the love of all things fucking holy I am begging you to get educated. I am not talking bullshit educated. Get the right information based on firm science and not emotional rantings of celebrities and rating seeking rag television. The amount of misinformation circulating makes my shrapnel gut bleed and that blood begins to boil when I see or hear it presented on a large scale.
FUCK AUTISM. Fuck it every day and in every way when it causes pain for those we love.
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