A-hole or Ego?

It's true I haven't blogged in a week. I've been psycho busy and blogging isn't exactly a lucrative business but WOW I'm glad people noticed. Ego stroked! Ego stroking leads me to my rant for the day. At the risk of sounding like a world class ass to even more people I am asking you to share what I write today. It's about ignorance/stupidity and neglect and I might be writing about you. MIGHT.

In 1976 I was in first grade. My teacher suggested to my parents that I might have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). They were horrified. It was the seventies. It was more accepted to be a polyester wearing swinger than to have a kid with "problems." Second grade brought the same suggestions and throughout my school career I had difficulty concentrating, staying in my seat, shutting my pie hole and was told constantly that I wasn't working up to my potential. My general fund of knowledge and intelligence kept me in A's and the occasional B until junior high when the academic expectations required sustained focus. After that all hell broke loose.

By the time I was a senior in high school there were some questions as to whether I would even graduate. I was getting into trouble and my parents were beyond angry. Why couldn't I calm down and focus? Why couldn't I behave? I was so angry with myself. WHY COULDN'T I? I so wanted to and then I figured out how. I used alcohol and drugs to do it. I had the access, the cash and the will. My most successful days academically were when I was stoned. I snuck out of the school for cigarettes. A quick smoke and I regained my focus. This is how I got through the day. THIS IS CALLED SELF MEDICATION.

Today the stigma attached to ADHD, depression, and other "mental illnesses" is less negative but nowhere near less than l believe it should be. When I was still doing face to face work with children and families I worked with numerous people who could not accept their child's diagnosis. They blamed the school, the neighbors, the child for being a jerk, themselves for being lazy with discipline, etc.They had no knowledge about mental illness. They didn't understand what it meant to have a child with ADHD or a learning disability. What did this even mean? THIS IS CALLED IGNORANCE.

Most of the parents I worked with knew their kids needed help. I suggested things like medication, medical intervention, behavioral plans/ interventions or counseling but they either didn't want to spend the money, chose to ignore the problem /behavior until it became dangerous or illegal or played the blame game with the world. THIS IS CALLED STUPIDITY.

If you or your child were diagnosed with cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, cystic fibrosis, turner syndrome, arthritis or any other physical problem you would seek treatment, correct? I'm assuming this which may be ME being stupid but I can't imagine you would you say, "If I just TRY harder I can get my goddamn pancreas to make enough insulin," and risk your life every day? Are you like Charlie Sheen? Will you make it so with your MIND?

Would you ground your child from friends, television and video games saying, "Jimmy you little brat! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST MAKE INSULIN LIKE I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY? You really inconvenienced me and I had to leave work to pick you up from the hospital because you passed out and guess what else? That damn diabetic coma you were in was rude. You should answer when people talk to you and not lay there ignoring us. ALL THAT VOMITING ON THE SCHOOL CARPET did damage and I'm taking the money out of your bank account. Your mother and I are so disappointed that you can't make insulin like the other children."

FAC T #1: The numerous conditions known as mental illnesses are no different than any other condition in our bodies. They are a result of a chemical imbalance. Some require medication, some do not. All of them require awareness and some form of treatment. All of them are exacerbated by other physical conditions AND chemicals in the body. ALL OF THEM ARE TREATABLE. They are NOT preventable. They come in all shapes, sizes and cause differing degrees of impairment in life.

FACT #2: If you choose to ignore of deny the existence you are setting yourself and/or your child up for FAILURE. Ignorance isn't your fault. Stupidity is a choice. Choosing not to help your child is stupid but THIS IS CAN ALSO BE CALLED NEGLECT.

Now about that hell that broke loose in my life? My parents finally got on board the crazy train. I got therapy, medication, support and ACCEPTANCE. I stayed alive because I stopped self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. I went on to college and graduate school. I earned two Master's degrees. Of course the story isn't that simple but the point IS just that simple.

MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A WEAKNESS. MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT INVISIBLE. MENTAL ILLNESS IS TREATABLE.Mental illness is no different than any other illness in your body but because it's occuring in your brain and you can't see the evidence on an x-ray of a blood test there are boneheaded douchebags that claim it doesn't exist. Ignorance, stupidity and neglect feed the problem. If your fragile ego is preventing you from getting help for yourself of God forbid your child then you can't blame a chemical imbalance. THIS IS CALLED BEING AN ASSHOLE.

P.S. This might just be my favorite blog ever.

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  • My favorite blog yet! This could have been about me. In fact, I'm thinking we may be twins, separated at birth. You rock!


  • Thank you for this. If a child has ADHD or any other thought processing disorder, she has a treatable disease and your 'pride' and your 'shame' don't have anything to do with helping your child get better. A lot of us went through childhood with undiagnosed ADD and developed coping skills as we got older (like the fact that I can write on just about ANY subject for 1000-2000 words, but much longer than that and you're asking for the moon).

    Thank you for this. Maureen

  • AH! Thank you so much for this post! I have a 10 yr old daughter who is in the 4th grade, and has struggled since Kindergarten. I realized quickly that something was wrong once homework started coming home and it was a daily fight. In second grade I requested testing and I was told that since her I-step scores met the specifications that she did not need testing. I later found out that they did not want to pay for it. Half way through 3rd grade her teacher called after I requested her to be tested again and then proceeded to tell me that my child was simply lazy, and that she would never excel to be more than an average student. I was PISSED. I can take criticism when due, but it was obvious my child could not focus. I finally consulted her pediatrician about it and we were sent to a psychologist who then sent us through tests and the end outcome is that my child has ADD which is now all mushed together with ADHD. I unlike so many parents was SO RELIEVED to hear this diagnosis! My daughter is now on a medication called Concerta, and there have been no more fights doing homework, there have been no more threats of me beating her (poor kid) and to top it off, the last 2 report cards she has made A/B Honor Roll! Makes me want to get one of those gays ass stickers to put on my car I'm so fukin' proud!!! KICK ASS POST, and props to you for raising awareness!!!

    Indianapolis, Indiana

  • Perfectly said. I didn

  • In reply to heyhertl:

    And because I'm anal retentive, I have to point out that I was trying to convey that my sister's name is Nikki, not that I was saying your name. Shut-up; it's part of my mental problem. ;-)

  • In reply to heyhertl:

    I agree that people with these orders should be treated but I also believe "Disorders" like ADHD is WAY over diagnosed. Sometimes kids act up and it seems like more and more parents are trying to find a cause for it when sometimes it's not the childs mind but their crazy fucking parents. When i was a child I got really depressed, like REALLY depressed and my grades went way down and I wouldn't even try because family life was HELL. For some reason my crazy mother got it in her head years ago that I was ADHD (Even though I never talked, stayed in my room, and never wanted to do anything) So when my grades started slipping she took me and her munchausen ass down to a psychiatrist and told the Doctor everything SHE thought was wrong with me. Managed to get me put on some stupid medication and when my grades still didn't go up got me put on Ritalin. My grades never went up and all it did was keep me from focusing and the Depression was still there. I finally decided as a Junior that I'm not taking those fucking pills anymore and my grades went from D's and F's to A's and B's. Imagine that. Oh and the depression is still there but at least I can focus lol

  • In reply to heyhertl:

    Great blog. I'm sitting here at work in a psychiatric hospital working with parents who have children in crisis. My experience with ADHD is likely what you not expect as we regularly take children off stimulants - but I know for a fact they do work. By the time they get to the hospital there are other things going on (more complicated) so usually the meds are taken out.

    However... thank you for posting. Well said.


  • In reply to heyhertl:

    My 19-year-old daughter has suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder since she was 12. She never wanted to talk about it and I can understand why. She didn't even want my mom to know. There were some very difficult times for her, the darkest being her first semester in college, when the requirement to share quarters, among other stimuli, was too much for her. Even with a private dorm room, she shared the common space with a suite-mate. By the end of the semester, she was exhausted and terribly ill with depression. She failed two of her classes, and we made the decision together that she would not return in January--or ever, unless she recovered sufficiently. The good thing about that horrible ordeal was that she was finally motivated to do something about her condition. She actively engaged in therapy for the first time, and we requested that her meds be changed again, this time to one that actually worked for her. She has made tremendous progress, even though our financial circumstances have forced her out of therapy, and she plans to take summer classes this year at the community college. Another note about the ignorance/stupidity/neglect: As a self-employed, widowed mom, the health insurance I used to have (no longer do, due again to those financials), did not cover "mental and nervous". Some anti-depressants (the common medical treatment for OCD) are very expensive, and the insurance would not pay. A psychiatrist costs around $100 to $150 per visit, after the initial consultation, which is $250, $350, or more. Thus, for some families, even when we are not ignorant, stupid, or neglectful, the cost of treatment is out of reach. My daughter and I dream of running a charitable foundation to help youth in mental crisis. Thank you for putting a fine point on this situation. P. S. Having suffered from several major depressive episodes myself, I knew in the early stages of my 2nd marriage, following too closely on the heels of my 1st husband's death, that I was descending into a depression. "Number two", who was actually a quite ill practicing alcoholic, was "anti-drug" and was not at all pleased that I was going to take anti-depressants for a couple of years. I took them anyway. It probably gave him a few more months of wedded bliss with me, but ultimately, I cut him loose.

  • In reply to heyhertl:

    I mean no disrespect to parents who have children with genuine disabilities who need medication, etc. BUT... It seems like the whole ADHD thing is... Out of hand. I would beg any parent who has a child diagnosed with this condition to TRY to do what they can at home before putting their child on medication. Cut out the processed foods (This might even mean having to go so far as making your own bread from scratch. It's a pain, but it's for the health of your family.) Cut out the sugar and the caffeine and you might be amazed at the improvement in your child's' behavior. I know there are children that must (genuinely) have this condition, but I think it's much more rare then the doctors and pharmaceutical companies would like you to believe. Just my 2 cents, and again... Not trying to offend. Other points made in this post are brilliant. Love reading your blogs!! :D

  • Oh, and as a great mom, I forgot to mention that my son shows signs of anxiety, and not only is his therapy (currently just talk) helping him, but helping me to understand myself. I'm hoping telling him that I completely understand what he's feeling and that it's REAL, he can avoid having to wait until his 30's to find peace.

  • In reply to heyhertl:

    I am sorry to hear that your son is showing signs of anxiety also. I have struggled with anxiety since 2004 after a friend of mine was murdered. So even tho mine was adult onset it was very debilitating. I tried every medication under the sun, some of them made me gain weight others made me a walking zombie. I finally in 2010 found a medicine that helps me tremendously. I am so relieved to have found a medicine (citalopram)that helps me. I was to a point where I wouldn't even leave the house. And now I pretty much go anywhere, i still have the slight worry I'm going to have an episode, but I haven't and I am sooo greatful! Good Luck to you and your son!!

  • Girl, that was one awesome blog. It might just be my favorite up to this point too. Where were you in the year 2002? I needed that then. In the last 9 years, I have managed to get people to understand the importance of facing their child's mental issues as opposed to denying and avoiding them, and now I'm stuck on getting people to understand the difference between treatment and medication. Don't get me wrong, medication can sometimes be very helpful, but at the same time, there's no magic pill for things like autism, and I've seen many parents expect some pill to solve all the problems for them without backing it up with lifestyle changes and therapies (or even trying some of the common therapies before resorting to meds). Let's not even get into the mis-use and abuse of meds... I wish I could get them to understand most of the time, the EASIEST way is non-pharmaceutical early intervention. And I totally agree on one thing in the blog. I can't stand watching a child get punished for something that's related to their autism or ADHD. I've had teachers even try to punish my child for being autistic, and yeah, next IEP meeting, that will be going in there.

  • I also want to mention... I can't totally blame parents who get lost in the avoidance/denial trap. Most people have very sheepish personalities, and the norm is to treat mental issues like it's bull shit. It takes some serious strength and character to do the right thing sometimes, and this case is one of the most trying. I APPLAUD all parents who battle dealing with stupid assholes every day for the better welfare of their child. It's a constant battle. You are trying to help your child who is requiring a lot of attention and patience, and then you get bombarded with assholes at the grocery store, the schools, your own family members, all with half-assed opinions on how you should spank the autism/ADHD out of your child. I think I need a t-shirt that says, "I can't spank the autism out of my child, but I can spank the stupid out of you." LOL it will be on zazzle sometime soon :) Watch for it :)

  • This is my most favorite blog of yours also, Nikki. Truth is, denial also runs rampant among adults with emotional and mental health issues.
    Ya know, mebbe if we don't talk about it, it will just go AWAY...
    A life lived in anxiety, fear ,and emotional turmoil is a life half lived.
    Here's to all of us who take the challenge straight on , and DEAL with it..and to all of those who support dealing with another aspect of health care in more open and accepting manner...
    Here's to Nikki for this gentle and informative ass- kicking.
    We should print this up as leaflets and drop 'em all over the world!Share, share, share...
    Thanks, Anne

  • Great blog...I am 50 years old and have major depressive disorder. I've been hospitalized 4 times for suicidal ideation and take 4 different medications. No, I just can't think happy thoughts and make it all go away. Some days, I can barely take a shower. BUT, I did graduate from college and also earned a Master's last fall. I have a great job and 2 grown daughters. I feel very strongly that we should advocate to promote awareness of MIs and dispel the myths. With meds and weekly therapy, you'd never know I'm a nut :)

  • In reply to DianeL:

    Congratulations on your accomplishments! I know that it can be difficult. I have generalized anxiety disorder which goes hand in hand with depression, and I am an online student working on my associates, and there are times where I don't shower (ew i know) but I just don't have the energy. Mine is also controlled by meds, but I recently found 1 that helps and decided to drop my others. My daughter also has ADD and is on Concerta for hers. I commend you for taking control of your disease and not letting it control you! Keep it up!

  • Nikki- This is so great. I am printing it out. I have a child who struggles with anxiety. It's real, it screws with kids, it's treatable. We are not in denial (as the parents) but it is a CONSTANT education for the rest of the world. My friend and I do a 30 minute weekly blog talk show (PYHOOYA parenting - were on Facebook) and the sole focus is to talk about the parenting stuff NOBODY likes to talk about. We'd love to have you on sometime to talk about autism or ADHD or parental denial or just to submit your favorite cocktail recipe. Thanks again for dragging this stuff out of the closet AGAIN. We need it.

  • Love that post, although I would never own that mug at the bottom. Being ADD and left handed, I don't need negative messages in my face. :)

  • As a person with ADD (diagnosed 30 years ago when it was called MINIMAL BRAIN DYSFUNCTION!!!!) and an ADD Family Coach, I totally agree with your post.

    So much of parenting is fear-based (or ego-based) - "what does this mean about me and my image?" rather than "what does my child need and how can I get it for him/her?" (NEED, not WANT).

    On the other hand, my parent-clients are amazing. They know their kids have a gift but they also know they just can't access it and they so want to. I feel totally blessed and lucky to have turned my ADD into something that serves so many people. I LOVE what I do!

    Margit Crane, Gifted With ADD

  • In reply to MargitCrane:

    and I just want to add... I know Margit Crane and she is awesome. Her work with families with ADD/ADHD is nothing short of miraculous. Tears to your eyes kind of amazing. That Margit, yes she is.

  • In reply to SavvyParents:

    Thanks Savvy! Big Hug!

  • In reply to MargitCrane:

    Well, I might be one of those moms in denial. My 13 yr old son is bright, but scattered. But in my defense I am already dealing with his old hf autistic brother and his younger aspy brother. I'm in denial because he hasn't been too difficult or in my face about it. He gets by pretty well. But I promise I will bring this up with our doctor as soon as I can.

  • In reply to skissman:

    Wow! That took courage. Aspergers and Autism are so difficult. People don't realize how having "special needs" kids is like having another job on top of the regular parenting job. If I can help, let me know. I'm a good cheerleader, if nothing else!

  • In reply to skissman:

    Not to rain on the parade or love fest going on here but just wanted to direct my comments to the DOCTORS:

    Stop overdiagnosing ADHD.

    CDC says about 4.5+ million 5-17 year olds have been diagnosed with ADHD, and many non-profits put the number much higher. CDC notes that diagnoses of ADHD has increased an average of 3% every year from 1997. Drug Enforcement Administration says since 1991 there's been 500% (!!!) increase in prescriptions written for stimulant medication to treat ADHD.

    To counter this, a couple well-known physicians have come out and said that while there may be overdiagnosing going on, the increase in prescriptions for stimulant medication is because of better access to treatment of ADHD. One of these guys is former U.S. Surgeon General David Satcher, who low and behold is a board member of Johnson&Johnson pharm. $$

  • In reply to skissman:

    A-Fucking-Mazing!! Seriously- we were switched at birth right? Mental illness is so very real- and ADHD is a REAL condition!! It is not just a "behavior problem" As the mom to a child with Autism AND ADHD I can so relate to this. Being a teacher I have seen so many parents just 1)Ignore and hope it goes away 2)Blame it on someone/thing else 3)Just go to a doctor and demand drugs. To respond to gwill- you are absolutely right about ADHD being OVER diagnosed. There is a HUGE difference between ACTIVE and HYPERACTIVE. The DSM-IV gives specific diagnostic criteria for an ADHD diagnosis. A. Persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that is more frequently displayed and is more severe than is typically observed in individuals at comparable level of development.
    B. Some hyperactive-impulsive or inattentive symptoms must have been present before seven years of age.
    C. Some impairment from the symptoms must be present in at least two settings.
    D. There must be clear evidence of interference with developmentally appropriate social, academic or occupational functioning.
    E. The disturbance does not occur exclusively during the course of a Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Schizophrenia, or other Psychotic Disorders and is not better accounted for by another mental disorder.

    There are also 3 SUB TYPES of ADHD. Not only are doctors over diagnosing and over medicating- TEACHERS are not wanting to deal with children and automatically say they are ADHD- which is NOT always the case.
    But as parents- we listen to doctors, teachers and others who are trained to spot these things and are sometimes bullied into thinking their child needs to be medicated. DO YOUR RESEARCH PARENTS!!! The internet is FULL of resources.. your doctor or teacher is NOT the be all end all. If you have concerns- VOICE them, research them!

    I'm done ranting- Nik- I love ya dearly- and I KNOW what you deal with on a personal level every day. You rock mama..and I think this (next to When in doubt wear a cape!) might be my favorite blog too :)

  • In reply to DawnieB:

    Well said Sparkles! I never knew how brilliant my friends are! Ok, I did, but it never hurts to keep saying it! This is so very well put! And you can see it from both POV (as a momma and an educator). Sniff-Sniff...I love you crazy biyatches!

  • In reply to DawnieB:

    I WISH there were more teachers like you who raise awareness! My daughter was diagnosed with ADD last year, she is in the 4th grade, it took me since she was in the 1st grade to get that diagnosis! And let me tell you I was RELIEVED! I even had her 3rd grade teacher tell me that she was just lazy and would never be more than an average student! I told her teacher, you don't live with this child and see that she can do a problem and then 5 problems later have the same one and say "I don't know how" SO very frustrating as a parent to try and help her do her schoolwork, it ended in many a days either saying take it back to your teacher or just don't do it! I know bad mom, but it was that or be a really bad mom and whoop her, but deep down I knew it wasn't her fault. SOOOO after her diagnosis, her doctor put her on concerta, and would you believe it, her FIRST report card after starting this medication she was on A/B Honor roll! And her grades have done nothing but go up since!!! Keep up your amazing work, and don't give up on the kids like their parents do!

  • In reply to skissman:

    it is my favorite blog. i love you for saying this.

  • In reply to skissman:

    Perfection! As a mom of one teen with APD and another teen with generalized anxiety disorder and OCD I cannot thank you enough for this!!!!

  • In reply to skissman:

    Nikki, thank you so much for posting this! My son's doctors have said for a few years that they believe he has ADHD and we have tried to get the schools to test him to no avail! I don't know what to do anymore. He does well in school, he is in 4th grade, but about the only time he isn't moving, or bouncing from one thing to another is when he reads. He can delve into a book and be great but anything else and it is like he has ants in his pants. I fully accept that he probably has ADHD and want to figure out the best way to help but when the doctors say "the school will test him" and the school says "well it's what the doctor says and we don't test them for that" I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated I am kinda lost.
    I have severe depression as well so I have been dealing with mental illness for a long time and there are so many who don't understand and don't have any desire to TRY to understand it is seemingly a waste of time to try to explain. It just puts me further down so I don't even mess with that anymore but I want better for my kids!

  • In reply to RebeccaMatousek:

    Schools don't test specifically for ADD/ADHD. What a school CAN do is give your son a battery of tests and then, based on the results, they can guess at what might be the cause. Schools can't diagnose though. You could get the schools to test, (go to the District if you're not getting cooperation from the school) and then the doctor could diagnose based on the tests.

    I will say, though, that other things look like ADD/ADHD when they're not. For example, trauma, anxiety, living with an addict, and quite a few other things.

    One of the best things you can do for your son, aside from addressing his bouncing around, is to take care of yourself. Distracted parents have distracted kids lots of times. I see it among families of all socio-economic levels. Be good to yourself :-)

  • In reply to RebeccaMatousek:

    Nikki....I love you and your honesty! We've known Nicklas had ADHD since he was in nursery school...in preschool his teacher was petrified to even mention it to me (she thought I didn't know LOL)but she and I worked together to help him work through it....now in Kindergarten, he has a mega awesome teacher who eagerly assists and offers suggestions and just makes me happy to know her and know that my son has her as a teacher. He spent too many days trying his damndest to "do what he was supposed to do"...He WANTED to pay attention, but he just genuwinely couldn't...We tried other therapy methods (fidgets/dietary changes/etc) and realized that medication was his only shot at keeping his ADHD at bay and managable. You wouldn't BELIEVE the shit I took off people for making the decision to medicate. One person in particular actually said that lazy parents medicate their kids. After I took a moment to mentally slap a ho, I calmly explained the facts. She still doesn't LIKE it, but she has finally shut up about it.

    And Nicklas....he's a happy kid...an amazing little ball of wonderful energy that I wouldn't trade for the world. But sometimes, he really needs to stop moving and focus in life. And medication helps him with that.

    I've already linked this to my FB and already two of my girlfriends either passed this along or are using it to shut their own naysayers up. Thanks for ALWAYS telling it like it is.

  • Amen.

  • I want to kiss you full on the mouth, with tongue even.

    -- Chrisa, mom to a kid with Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar Type

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    In reply to ChrisaHickey:

    me also, full on the mouth.

  • Nikki, somewhere along the line a few weeks back I stumbled onto your site. I am a huge fan, and passed the word on to all my friends. Fan of your FB page, wait obsessively for each post you make, and LOVE the comments from the rest of the gang.

    Gotta tell you, woman, you're incredible. As the mom of a kid with ADHD and bipolar disorder, THANK YOU.

    The stigma associated with mental health disorders is ludicrous, but it's still there. I know from experience that it's hard to get over your preconceived idea of a certain diagnosis - hell, when I heard bipolar, all I could think of was Sally Field in her role on ER - crazy, delusional, all over the place.

    I already knew that there was no better advocate for my son than ME. I know my boy - I can tell within 2 minutes if he's missed a dose of his meds.

    Parents need to get a grip and face reality. Not for themselves, but for THE CHILD.

    Thanks, Nikki, for putting your words out there. I love you, Girl!

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    OMG! thank-you sooo much. I don't have ADD or ADHD (i don't think) but i DO have depression and anxiety. I've come to realize that the anxiety was there since i was a kid, then leading to depression, panic attacks ect... I've been saying this for years. It's not my fault and if I said i had cancer, would you be more understanding? Shame on people that think that way.

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    i almost cried reading this! my son has adhd. people dont get it. sometimes i dont get it. him being eleven, and being in the 99th percentile in the nation on his test scores at school, i loath the thought of him self medicating(or even suicide!)because adults and peers dont know how to deal with him!!he's in therapy, on concerta, but still...

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    I grew up with a mother that was stigmatized by what was referred to as manic depression and then bipolar and then bipolar with schizophrenic tendencies and most recently major depressive disorder with anxiety....I can tell you that people are in fact mostly a-holes when it comes to anything categorized as a "mental disorder". Thank you for acknowledging the fact that if we take care of ourselves and our children that includes their mental well being!

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    I worked with children who had "behavioiral issues." I now work with adults who are "severely mentally ill." I fight these stigmas every day. I have to tell my clients they arent crazy, their brains are just wired different and anybody who brings them down because of it is a jerk. I do believe that people can recover from mental illness. Heck, if people couldnt reduce their symptoms and become " productive members of society", i would not be here. I loved this blogg, because it sounds like my story.

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    Wow. Great blog. I just read this via Grass Roots Initiatives to Prevent Suicide and this is a story with which I strongly identify. Thank you. --Admin. of Running from Hell with El.

  • In reply to El Farris:

    glad you liked it and hope you are keeping yourself healthy both physically and mentally. xo

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