May the force be with you.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot? For those of you who follow me on Facebook you might share the same high level of attitude chafing at the removal of Darth-pooper from my fan page. I was also warned that I had violated Facebook's terms of use and would be "grounded" so to speak from posting photos for 30 days.

Darth-pooper might very well have been one of my most popular picture posts. It was sent to me by a friend and when I saw it I knew that so many of the parents on my fan page would laugh and be able to relate to the image. I remember both of my kids decked out in some kind of costume while sitting on the porcelain pony not so patiently awaiting the arrival of the dreaded turd. It was bad enough that they had to actually STOP playing to hightail it to the bathroom right? At least they could stay in character.

"Clothes optional" is a policy adopted in many a household with little ones. Watching my kids leap around in their diapers or little character underpants never disturbed me and I don't consider my photo albums kiddie porn because they contain numerous nudie pics of my kids in the bathtub or generally acting goofy while half dressed. As parents we continually capture the precious moments of our young children on film because we can! They are innocent and without shame. We teach them to feel embarrassed of their bodies or disgusted by the human and necessary elimination of waste. RIDICULOUS. We are human beings. We do human things. Everybody poops.

As I write this blog post my daughter has the top half of her footie pajamas on but her legs are free. It looks like she is wearing a cape with legs. She playing with her toy ponies and having a blast. The boy is eating cereal wearing jeans and no shirt. A few minutes ago the girl was antagonizing the boy by making a pony walk on his head. I captured the image in my mind because I had no camera handy but if I did I would have gladly snapped a picture and displayed it proudly in our family album. Life half dressed. Call child services! My happy spawn are half naked!

Would this be the case if we had guests? NO. Do I encourage them to seek privacy when dressing or toileting? YES. I'm sure most of us do. I am a therapist who has experience working with sexually abused children. I could tell you stories of child abuse and crafty pedophiles that would keep you up at night and make it difficult for you to let your kids out the door. I won't. I could also tell you about kids who have learned shame at an early age from parents who are too afraid to see the humor in the raw and naked innocence of little humans. Shame is learned and so is modesty. There is a HUGE difference.

Darth-pooper is just a picture of a little guy who had to pinch one off and needed the force to be strong in him. He was busy being a dark jedi and the dark side called. The comment thread on the picture literally made me pee in MY pants (for the record I was not ashamed). Shame on whoever reported the picture. It brought joy to thousands of people before it was removed.

I'm sure that all the cell phone/mirror shots of tween and teenage girls hanging out of their clothes that are allowed permanent residence on hundreds of thousands of unprotected Facebook pages with limited internet supervision are also giving joy to hundreds of thousands of perverts and pedophiles. In the meantime, my 18 and over fan page titled MOMS WHO DRINK AND SWEAR is regularly invaded by fucktards who need to shame the humor preferences of adults following the letter of the law while finding humor in the absurd.

Darth-pooper lives! May the force in him be strong within you as he encourages you to remember your own days as a frazzled potty training parent or be a guide for you parents yet to experience the unavoidable, frightening, hilarious, smelly, unpredictable and almost always successful process of POTTY TRAINING!

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  • signed up here."liked" this pic over there.Reposted it "over there"just to be a dick,mostly.Happy new digs!

  • In reply to mccscott71:

    thanks mcscotty. wonder who will report you?

  • In reply to mccscott71:

    I have a feisty 3 year old and a 6 year old with Asperger's. They are always 1/2 naked and almost always in some character form.I thank you for Darth Poop and all of your posts as they make me feel eight with the world. Motherhood would be impossible without humor. MWDAS helps keep me sane, and that is GOOD for my kids. Keep on sister - I heart you and your Darth Poop.

  • In reply to walkamile:

    keep coming back. fight the power. IMPOSSIBLE is right. thanks for the hearts and good luck to you because you got your work cut out for you, luhv.

  • In reply to walkamile:

    Amazing that Facebook now claims to have a moral compass. They should spend more time focusing on their misplaced privacy policies and less on a harmless image that "exposes" nothing more than the hilarity of everyday family life. T minus 30 days and counting until the next ban...

  • In reply to juliewid65:

    Exactly, thank you!!

  • In reply to walkamile:

    Your blog is wonderful! And exactly WHAT is wrong with this picture? I took a video of my son when he was being potty trained, because he made up a song "When the Sky Changes" while doing his business!!! Seriously, all you people who have issues, GET A LIFE!! There are much worse things to worry yourselves over. Thanks for the laughs. It's my daily medicine.

  • In reply to walkamile:

    First of all, thank you for "fucktard"...that is now used regularly since I started following you on FB and I love it! It's appropriate a lot throughout my day. Secondly there is absolutely nothing wrong with this picture. As a potty-training mom of TWO 2-year olds who are right in the thick of the "terrible 2's" all the funny shit that can be captured is captured in my house (clothed or not) and it's my saving grace! If we don't remember and share these hilarious moments we're all going to go insane hanging out with these little crazies all of the time! Keep on sharing, it's awesome.

  • In reply to walkamile:

    Look, facebook has to draw the line somewhere.

    How would facebook know that this photo is of an actual toddler, or of a horny Mexican midget with a fetish for light-saber toilet probing and other creepy (yet curiously appealing) Star Wars sex shit? Gwill sure can't tell from looking at it. Hence, facebook had to draw the line.

    By the way, every time I come here I feel like crashing a crazy MILF party, which is kinda cool.

  • In reply to walkamile:

    I love LOVE LOVE the whole blog, but especially this paragraph:

    "Would this be the case if we had guests? NO. Do I encourage them to seek privacy when dressing or toileting? YES. I'm sure most of us do. I am a therapist who has experience working with sexually abused children. I could tell you stories of child abuse and crafty pedophiles that would keep you up at night and make it difficult for you to let your kids out the door. I won't. I could also tell you about kids who have learned shame at an early age from parents who are too afraid to see the humor in the raw and naked innocence of little humans. Shame is learned and so is modesty. There is a HUGE difference."

    Absolutely, brilliantly spoken TRUTH.... Thank you X Infinity!!

    I was one of the fans who shared the pic on FB along with a recommendation for every single one of my friends to like your page, and was saddened and disgusted to find it removed today. Felt like I woke up in Naziland...not pleased at all.

    Bless your heart for all of your hard work, and for your ability to keep those of us with brain cells and funny bones still intact laughing when we want to cry and sharing the love that much louder when the haters pull their ignorant shit. You rock like Bon Jovi at Mount Rushmore! :)

  • In reply to mccscott71:

    that is...make me feel right with the world. lol

  • As I sit here with my 3 yr old who is 100% naked running around the house, I think the post was fantastic. I am currently potty training her and it seems easier for her to go if she doesnt have clothes on. I also have a pic on my fb page of her at 1yr old running naked on the beach. HOW IS THAT CONSIDERED PORN?!!!!! I love your new blog. Congrats and keep up the good work

  • In reply to navymom74:

    i think Facebook has an "all or nothing" policy. hard to differentiate i guess. whatever. makes me sad that someone reported it. it's too damn cute not to get the point.

  • I just signed up for an account specifically for this post. I am a single father of a little girl and i take "half naked" and "naked" pics of her all the time. she is a sweet little innocent (yeah right)girl. and all the pictures i take reflect that. I am not a fan of idiots and the ignorance they spread. We cannot stop posting innocent pics because there are perverts out there. They are gonna just keep being perverted and finding images to jerk it to. All we are doing is limiting ouselves as a people and letting fear rule our lives. protect ur kids. protect their innocence. Keeping taking candid photos. Thank you MWDAS!

  • In reply to larryandlilone:

    larry. glad you signed up. there are some excellent blogs here on the site so you will not regret being a part of the fun both here on my site and with the many other talented chicago writers. kudos to you as a single dad as well. embracing the awesomeness!

  • In reply to larryandlilone:

    A million thumbs up, great point!

  • In reply to larryandlilone:

    Did you break into my house and put that gear on my son? This looks like something my son (aka Captain Airplane) would do. Hee-larious.

  • In reply to larryandlilone:

    I love your blog. AZMom said it best. If I had learned to laugh at it all years ago I'd look and feel a decade younger. You are a national treasure. The humorless minions of "correctitudeness" need a personality enema. Thanks for the laughs.

  • In reply to julessheehy:

    OMG OMG OMG!! "The humorless minions of "correctitudeness" need a personality enema." Brilliant ROTFLMAO!!!

  • In reply to larryandlilone:

    I reposted the Darth Pooper. Facebook can't take us all down.
    I just recently succeeded in potty training my 3 1/2 year old. It was a very very long process with many set-backs (so lets hope I didn't jinks it) This picture made me giggle in memory of that struggle and the huge effort it took to convince my child that stopping playing to go potty was faster than getting in trouble for having an accident and having to clean up.

  • In reply to larryandlilone:

    As one of your devoted FB bitches, and a Mom of a spawn with Aspergers (and other issues) who loves to be naked, and who has proclaimed the bathroom as his "man-cave", you're post's inspire me to find the humor in what would be a rapidly spiraling out of control day. Hearing other bitches stories makes me realize its not just mine! Nothing better than laughter to keep you from cryin! <3

  • you go girl! all the way from SC supporting you. just made my account so i could say SCREW FACEBOOK! we all love you and MWDAS!

  • In reply to Gmullx:

    sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. thank you mullx. a lot.

  • i have made this picture my profile picture over there, lets see what happens.
    love you Nikki!!!

  • In reply to d2theiss:

    may the force be with you on this. huuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs.

  • screw facebook...I laughed out loud and reposted that pic as soon as I saw it. Two of my three kids are autistic, and my 8 year old, who is classically autistic, gets naked wherever and whenever...he's famous for it. Once he even took off his shirt and threw it in the toilet. So naked kiddies is obviously not new to me, and facebook's slap on the wrist is a load of bull.

  • In reply to mistsmith23:

    sloppy kisses misty.....for real. i've had the girl smearing poop in a bookstore bathroom. GOOD TIMES.

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