Reasons for blogging. Or not blogging. Meow!

Three years ago, blogging and social media shenanigans got kicked down to the bottom of my priorities list for a number of reasons, important reasons and a shifting of priorities. These reasons and priorities took up most of my time. But not all of it. I had plenty of time to blog. The main reason... Read more »

The Soundtrack for Self Care 2017

Happy New Year! I wish you all the happiness you can hold in 2017. But wishing isn’t really helpful for those who are like, “‘Da fuq, Nikki? That’s all you gonna do for me?” My husband says, “You can wish in one hand and shit in the other, which one fills up faster?” That’s right…shit.... Read more »

There is NO excuse for abuse. #abuseisabuseisabuse

“A reason is an explanation given to an event or series of events. An excuse is intended to lessen liability, accountability, or responsibility. Choose which one of these is acceptable in your life.” Kelly Rudolph There is NEVER an excuse for abuse. Ever. Abuse is abuse is abuse. I recently posted a link to the... Read more »
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World Mental Health Day 2016: Psychological First Aid

Today is World Mental Health Day. One day? Yes, ONE. One day CAN matter. If we call would just take ONE DAY to raise awareness about mental health issues, we could all reach ONE person and that ONE person might be THE person who needed to talk about mental health issues. This year’s World Mental... Read more »

The Danger of Disappearing into Motherhood

There was a time when I felt like I was disappearing into motherhood, like I had zero individual identity aside from whatever was happening that involved my offspring. Actually, I felt like I was disappearing in general. Everything was terrible. EV-ERY-THI-I-ING. I barely recognized myself – not just my face, but my thoughts. I didn’t... Read more »

How to LISTEN #BlackLivesMatter

Last week, during a session, a client thanked me for being a good listener. A GOOD LISTENER! Wow. I closed the door and cried a little afterward. There is nothing more important to me than being a good listener. NOTHING. After almost two decades of being a therapist, where listening is THE most important part... Read more »
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Boundaries are NOT bullsh*t

If you gathered my past and present clients in a room and asked them to tell you something I never shut the fuck up about, I’m 99% sure they would all say, “OMG, BOUNDARIES!” And, “Sometimes I want to shove that boundaries bullseye bullshit down her throat.” The thing is, they know and I know... Read more »

Making space for Mindfulness

Sometimes the days are just motherfuckers and it’s good to make space for mindfulness so that my emotions don’t bring out my inner asshole, raining irritable vibes at the people I love. I hate it when that happens, so I try to keep it from happening with… You guessed it! Mindfulness, Motherfuckers! But how does... Read more »

Practice what you preach

I am a mental health professional and part of what I do is to teach people coping skills and other healthy shit about communication and self care. I try to practice what I preach, which I do, unless I don’t. Sometimes I make a conscious choice to choose poor coping skills because healthy coping skills... Read more »
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If something doesn't make you feel good, stop fucking doing it

A close friend recently told me that she missed my words, that they made her feel good. She asked me why I stopped writing. I told her that I didn’t stop writing. I stopped sharing, because sharing stopped making me feel good. The reasons are complicated, but the decision to stop sharing was simple, compassionate,... Read more »