I never thought new Loop litter of any kind would get me as upset as the new Divvy bikes (will post my thoughts about them when I calm down) but the new 15 sprouting "sculptural heads" along Chicago's famous Cultural Mile have done the trick.
They're not cows, or world globes or fiberglass couches--all of which didn't bother me too much in the past when that stuff sprouted up in the Loop. But for some reason these heads along Michigan Avenue are playing head games with me. Each a different color, with a different planting and message, sponsored by one business or another, they are driving me nuts.
WHY? That's all I can ask. Why are half the heads right here in the South Loop? South of Congress, all the way to Roosevelt, in my neighborhood, and part of my daily stomping ground? I can't stand them. Why me?
Bruce (my SO) feels the same way I do. He says they remind him of unfinished brain surgery.
The heads' press release says the heads are aimed at making people more "environmentally conscious." That's true. I can't get the crazy heads out of my crazy head. They have made me conscious of my environment, alright.
The release also goes on to say this:
"The Plant Green Ideas sculptural heads are the brain-child of Plant Green Ideas RRR, a Chicago not-for-profit committed to sustainability. The head-shaped planter sculptures are built from recycled aluminum, steel and sustainable concrete materials. Greenery and other plant materials are then added to complete the sculpture. Standing approximately 11 feet tall each, the sculptural heads are guaranteed to make their presence known.
"Each sculpture features a unique theme and message created with sustainable plantings and material. The distinctive and highly interactive artwork will provide educational content through messaging and via QR codes that will communicate simple actions that people can take to be more environmentally conscious. Sponsors of the artwork include Walgreens, Ford Motor Company, WGN-TV, Willis Tower and many more."
Each planter, says the press release, was constructed with LEED Certification standards in mind. Which means if the planter were a house, it would be oh-so-beloved by the environmentally conscious. To me, LEED standards mean that if something goes wrong in your LEED house--like if some Rube Goldberg contraption fails in your recycled water system or something--you are apt to have used toilet water running out of your kitchen faucet.
OK, there is one nice touch. Walgreens will be selling commemorative Chia ("Chia Pet") planters to commemorate the arrival of the heads on Michigan Avenue. All net proceeds will benefit Chicago children. Nothing I can argue with about that. But I sure wish all that was on Michigan Avenue were Chia Pets. Inside the bushes.