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Posts tagged "sex"

Bedroom Secrets

Bedroom Secrets
The worst part about having a sleeping partner every single night of your life….is that you can’t keep secrets. Overnight, I got a craving for some of the leftover pasta sitting in the refrigerator. It was 3 in the morning. Now, if I was single and living by myself I could just drag my ass... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 20, 2011 at 1:01 pm
• 1 comment

Why Can't the Husband Change His Last Name?

Why Can't the Husband Change His Last Name?
I used to be the type of girl that vomited sappy “I love you’s” to my boyfriend on his Facebook wall. I used to declare my adoration with nauseous inside jokes so that others could see. Now, I keep it (semi) private. Why? Because I feel if you have to overdo it with constant and... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 22, 2011 at 12:02 pm
• 6 comments

Don't Forget the Pet Names!

What’s in a name? Apparently a lot of hidden meanings. I was having a Google chat conversation with my husband today when I congratulated him on his latest achievement. Instead of typing the usual (and somewhat obligatory) “Congrats Sweetie handsome sexy best husband in the universe”, I just typed his name. We’ll call him Wayne... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 21, 2011 at 2:22 pm
• 3 comments
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PMS = Eat IT

PMS = Eat IT
This is what happens when my period is approaching. I wake up in the middle of the night and scrape frosting off the cupcakes sitting in the kitchen. So this is the second PMS post I’ve seen on ChicagoNow today. See, it’s true. Women’s cycles all tend to mesh together into one giant PMS volcano... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 2, 2011 at 10:32 am
• 1 comment

Shit my husband says: Tacos

Shit my husband says: Tacos
Don’t forget my tacos, bitch. ….. Sorry I keep saying bitch. I mean ‘friend’. He’s so awesome. JENNYMILK @JennyMilk Milkin’ it... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 1, 2011 at 7:46 am
• 2 comments

My Husband Winks at EVERYONE

My Husband Winks at EVERYONE
He’s a winker. Every time someone walked into the room, he batted his baby blues so wide that I thought his face was going to freeze that way. Every living, breathing female that walked by got a wink from his left eye. I wanted to rip his face off. It didn’t matter if the girl... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 24, 2011 at 3:58 pm
• 2 comments
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Shit My Husband Says: Breasts

Shit My Husband Says: Breasts
That breast is huge. Like Pam Anderson huge. Huge breasts. I bet he can’t wait to eat it (the chicken). This is why I let him do all the cooking. Let him have his fun.   JENNYMILK @JennyMilk Milkin’ it... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 20, 2011 at 6:28 pm
• 1 comment

Shit My Husband Says: Smelly shit

Shit My Husband Says: Smelly shit
Come here and smell my pits. Why? I want to see if my antiperspirant is working.   I obliged. He might need a new brand. JENNYMILK @JennyMilk Milkin’ it... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 18, 2011 at 2:50 pm
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Don't Dump Me Over The Phone, You JERK

Don't Dump Me Over The Phone, You JERK
I’ve been dumped via phone more times than I can count. OK that’s not true, it happened like once. But still, it hurt. Clearly, since I’m still bringing it up. It was a guy I considered spending the rest of my life with, moving to California with….and I thought he was thinking the same things... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 17, 2011 at 2:44 pm
• 8 comments
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Woman Sues After Almost Dying From Vibrator Injury

Woman Sues After Almost Dying From Vibrator Injury
 Hey, some of us like the pain. *Cough* Masochist. Apparently, some girl from California is suing the company that made her vibrator for $25,000 after the sex toy (allegedly) nearly killed her. I started to get faint from the loss of blood. My boyfriend called 911. By the time they got there, I was in... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 14, 2011 at 10:05 am
• 6 comments