Milkin' It

My Last Post

A few weeks back I posed a question: why can’t the Husband change his last name? Turns out, one of my readers (a dude) did actually change his last name for his bride. Here’s his story (names have been changed so you shits don’t stalk him). Here’s how it happened. Anne Tag and I (Matt... Read more »

By Jenny Milk,
January 3, 2012 at 6:01 am

• 3 comments

Texts From Mom

Even though she’s known him nearly three years now…my mother keeps calling my husband by the wrong name. Granted, she does have a slight accent, but that really shouldn’t come into play during text message. O! I forgot to ask about the gift for savana when i saw math , so you can find out... Read more »

By Jenny Milk,
December 13, 2011 at 9:10 am

• 1 comment

Husbands are like Dogs

So my husband wakes me up around 5:30 this morning because of his shuffling out the door to head to work. Usually I just roll back over to sleep..but for some reason, this morning I stayed up for a bit. After a few minutes of laying in bed, I decided I needed to urinate. So... Read more »

By Jenny Milk,
December 12, 2011 at 5:18 pm

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Why Can't the Husband Change His Last Name?

I used to be the type of girl that vomited sappy “I love you’s” to my boyfriend on his Facebook wall. I used to declare my adoration with nauseous inside jokes so that others could see. Now, I keep it (semi) private. Why? Because I feel if you have to overdo it with constant and... Read more »

By Jenny Milk,
November 22, 2011 at 12:02 pm

• 6 comments

Don't Forget the Pet Names!

What’s in a name? Apparently a lot of hidden meanings. I was having a Google chat conversation with my husband today when I congratulated him on his latest achievement. Instead of typing the usual (and somewhat obligatory) “Congrats Sweetie handsome sexy best husband in the universe”, I just typed his name. We’ll call him Wayne... Read more »

By Jenny Milk,
November 21, 2011 at 2:22 pm

• 3 comments

My Husband Winks at EVERYONE

He’s a winker. Every time someone walked into the room, he batted his baby blues so wide that I thought his face was going to freeze that way. Every living, breathing female that walked by got a wink from his left eye. I wanted to rip his face off. It didn’t matter if the girl... Read more »

By Jenny Milk,
October 24, 2011 at 3:58 pm

• 2 comments

Shit My Husband Says: Breasts

That breast is huge. Like Pam Anderson huge. Huge breasts. I bet he can’t wait to eat it (the chicken). This is why I let him do all the cooking. Let him have his fun. JENNYMILK @JennyMilk Milkin’ it... Read more »

By Jenny Milk,
October 20, 2011 at 6:28 pm

• 1 comment

Woman Sues After Almost Dying From Vibrator Injury

Hey, some of us like the pain. *Cough* Masochist. Apparently, some girl from California is suing the company that made her vibrator for $25,000 after the sex toy (allegedly) nearly killed her. I started to get faint from the loss of blood. My boyfriend called 911. By the time they got there, I was in... Read more »

By Jenny Milk,
October 14, 2011 at 10:05 am

• 6 comments

Do In-Laws Really NEED to Meet?

I’ve been married more than 2 years and my parents have never met my in-laws. It’s kind of awesome. Don’t get me wrong, I tried once or twice to arrange a meeting between the two sets of parents, but because of unforeseen circumstances (read: drama), it has never worked out. Perhaps it has something to... Read more »

By Jenny Milk,
October 11, 2011 at 10:13 am

• 2 comments