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Posts tagged "chicago"

My Last Post

My Last Post
A few weeks back I posed a question: why can’t the Husband change his last name? Turns out, one of my readers (a dude) did actually change his last name for his bride. Here’s his story (names have been changed so you shits don’t stalk him). Here’s how it happened. Anne Tag and I (Matt... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
January 3, 2012 at 6:01 am
• 3 comments

Bedroom Secrets

Bedroom Secrets
The worst part about having a sleeping partner every single night of your life….is that you can’t keep secrets. Overnight, I got a craving for some of the leftover pasta sitting in the refrigerator. It was 3 in the morning. Now, if I was single and living by myself I could just drag my ass... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 20, 2011 at 1:01 pm
• 1 comment

Texts From Mom

Even though she’s known him nearly three years now…my mother keeps calling my husband by the wrong name. Granted, she does have a slight accent, but that really shouldn’t come into play during text message. O! I forgot to ask about the gift for savana when i saw math , so you can find out... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 13, 2011 at 9:10 am
• 1 comment
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Husbands are like Dogs

Husbands are like Dogs
So my husband wakes me up around 5:30 this morning because of his shuffling out the door to head to work. Usually I just roll back over to sleep..but for some reason, this morning I stayed up for a bit. After a few minutes of laying in bed, I decided I needed to urinate. So... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 12, 2011 at 5:18 pm
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Dirty Elbows

Dirty Elbows
So I just came out of the bathroom and noticed I have black crap all over my elbows. I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with me using the facilities. Unless I use my elbows to ‘tidy up’ and I’m not fully aware of my acrobatics while using the loo. Regardless, I’m a little... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 6, 2011 at 1:28 pm
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Don't Forget the Pet Names!

What’s in a name? Apparently a lot of hidden meanings. I was having a Google chat conversation with my husband today when I congratulated him on his latest achievement. Instead of typing the usual (and somewhat obligatory) “Congrats Sweetie handsome sexy best husband in the universe”, I just typed his name. We’ll call him Wayne... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 21, 2011 at 2:22 pm
• 3 comments
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Someone Put a Curse on Me

Someone Put a Curse on Me
Holy shit. It’s been like two weeks since I’ve posted a blog. I’m such a bad blogger. But you probably didn’t even notice I was gone. JERKS! How can you not notice I’ve been MIA. What if something happened to me, and none of you poops called for help. Seriously though. It’s been a busy... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 17, 2011 at 4:54 pm
• 4 comments

Halloween Should be Slutty

Halloween Should be Slutty
I haven’t dressed up for Halloween in three years. The last thing I wore was a Taxi Cab Driver outfit. A “sexy” cab driver, of course. I miss it. I miss dressing up as something else. A slutty something else. It was only a mere few years ago that I was hitting the town on... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 31, 2011 at 8:14 am
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My Husband Winks at EVERYONE

My Husband Winks at EVERYONE
He’s a winker. Every time someone walked into the room, he batted his baby blues so wide that I thought his face was going to freeze that way. Every living, breathing female that walked by got a wink from his left eye. I wanted to rip his face off. It didn’t matter if the girl... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 24, 2011 at 3:58 pm
• 2 comments
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Shit My Husband Says: Breasts

Shit My Husband Says: Breasts
That breast is huge. Like Pam Anderson huge. Huge breasts. I bet he can’t wait to eat it (the chicken). This is why I let him do all the cooking. Let him have his fun.   JENNYMILK @JennyMilk Milkin’ it... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 20, 2011 at 6:28 pm
• 1 comment