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Posts tagged "babies"

I Want My EX to Have My Baby

I Want My EX to Have My Baby
I want my EX to have my baby. Sounds logical, right? FUCK NO. I was listening to the radio while driving the other morning, when I heard Eric and Kathy from THE MIX talking about some woman who asked her EX-boyfriend to be her baby daddy. I almost crashed into the car in front of... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
July 20, 2011 at 5:50 am
• 8 comments

Everyone is Pregnant!

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Holy Babies! I feel like everyone I know is either pregnant or giving birth at this very second. I’m pretty sure I just heard a baby slip through someone’s vagina a second ago. Seriously. It’s like baby mania all around me and I’m starting to feel pressured… NOT. I’m still super young and can’t even... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
May 30, 2011 at 9:38 am
• 5 comments

The oldest condom in the world

The oldest condom in the world
Time to brush up on your sex history. It’s Friday. What better day to learn something. About sex. Use of the condom was first noted in published literature in the early 1500s. The device was originally made of linen, and historians believe the legendary lover Casanova used linen condoms. Maybe Casanova was on to something... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
January 21, 2011 at 9:24 am
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The Cost of raising a family: your sanity?

I’ve been married for over a year now. Jokingly, one of my friends told me it was about time I had a baby. I nearly died inside. Not only do I think that I’m too young for stretch marks, but I think I’d like to have some more fun before I hand over all my... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 15, 2010 at 3:06 pm
• 5 comments

In the liquor aisle: babies drinking beer

Today I hugged a random child and I felt such compassion and love for her, I thought I was going to cry. Then I got over it. While working in the liquor aisle, I constantly see parents…no wait, “parents” bring in their children while they buy some booze and smokes. I have gotten to know... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
July 20, 2010 at 3:56 pm
• 3 comments

Mom gives birth to 10lb twins

10lb twins As if there aren’t enough reasons NOT to have kids— An Ohio mother has given us yet another reason to stock up on birth control and condoms. She gave birth to 10 pound twins. That’s 10lbs + 10lbs = YOUR VAGINA GONE! Just kidding. The miracle of birth is beautiful. Even if your... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
July 8, 2010 at 3:38 pm
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Forwards from mom: guys need a 'hand'

In today’s edition of Forwards from mom we learn that mama milk thinks boys deserve a hand for getting a girl pregnant. Let’s proceed with the joke. Why is it when your wife or girlfriend gets pregnant, all her friends rub her belly and say congratulations…. Let me rub your belly! …But nobody rubs your... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
July 7, 2010 at 4:39 pm
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Things I'd rather do than be sick

Being sick sucks. I’ve had a wretched cough for the last four days and it’s darn near killed me (more like annoyed everyone around me). My cough has pretty much turned into a bark, and I hack so hard that I think one of my lungs collapsed.I’m pretty miserable. So miserable that I’ve concocted a... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
March 21, 2010 at 2:04 pm
• 4 comments

Funny babies

They drool, they poop and they scream relentlessly. Babies. Love ‘em or hate ‘em they are pretty darn cute. If you’re like me, you have a sort of complicated relationship with children. They can be utterly hilarious to observe, but not so funny when you see them pee all over your brand new couch. That... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
March 18, 2010 at 8:20 pm
• 2 comments
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