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Someone Put a Curse on Me

Someone Put a Curse on Me
Holy shit. It’s been like two weeks since I’ve posted a blog. I’m such a bad blogger. But you probably didn’t even notice I was gone. JERKS! How can you not notice I’ve been MIA. What if something happened to me, and none of you poops called for help. Seriously though. It’s been a busy... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 17, 2011 at 4:54 pm
• 4 comments

PMS = Eat IT

PMS = Eat IT
This is what happens when my period is approaching. I wake up in the middle of the night and scrape frosting off the cupcakes sitting in the kitchen. So this is the second PMS post I’ve seen on ChicagoNow today. See, it’s true. Women’s cycles all tend to mesh together into one giant PMS volcano... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 2, 2011 at 10:32 am
• 1 comment

Shit my husband says: Tacos

Shit my husband says: Tacos
Don’t forget my tacos, bitch. ….. Sorry I keep saying bitch. I mean ‘friend’. He’s so awesome. JENNYMILK @JennyMilk Milkin’ it... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 1, 2011 at 7:46 am
• 2 comments
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Halloween Should be Slutty

Halloween Should be Slutty
I haven’t dressed up for Halloween in three years. The last thing I wore was a Taxi Cab Driver outfit. A “sexy” cab driver, of course. I miss it. I miss dressing up as something else. A slutty something else. It was only a mere few years ago that I was hitting the town on... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 31, 2011 at 8:14 am
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Shit My Husband Says: Man Cleavage

Shit My Husband Says: Man Cleavage
  I love that one. It’s my man cleavage shirt. My meavage. He’s right. We all have that one shirt that really shows off our meavage cleavage. I use mine on Saturday nights. Clearly, he uses his on Monday at the office. JENNYMILK @jennyMilk Milkin’ it... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 27, 2011 at 6:36 am
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My Husband Winks at EVERYONE

My Husband Winks at EVERYONE
He’s a winker. Every time someone walked into the room, he batted his baby blues so wide that I thought his face was going to freeze that way. Every living, breathing female that walked by got a wink from his left eye. I wanted to rip his face off. It didn’t matter if the girl... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 24, 2011 at 3:58 pm
• 2 comments
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Shit My Husband Says: Breasts

Shit My Husband Says: Breasts
That breast is huge. Like Pam Anderson huge. Huge breasts. I bet he can’t wait to eat it (the chicken). This is why I let him do all the cooking. Let him have his fun.   JENNYMILK @JennyMilk Milkin’ it... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 20, 2011 at 6:28 pm
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Shit My Husband Says: Smelly shit

Shit My Husband Says: Smelly shit
Come here and smell my pits. Why? I want to see if my antiperspirant is working.   I obliged. He might need a new brand. JENNYMILK @JennyMilk Milkin’ it... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 18, 2011 at 2:50 pm
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Don't Dump Me Over The Phone, You JERK

Don't Dump Me Over The Phone, You JERK
I’ve been dumped via phone more times than I can count. OK that’s not true, it happened like once. But still, it hurt. Clearly, since I’m still bringing it up. It was a guy I considered spending the rest of my life with, moving to California with….and I thought he was thinking the same things... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 17, 2011 at 2:44 pm
• 8 comments
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Woman Sues After Almost Dying From Vibrator Injury

Woman Sues After Almost Dying From Vibrator Injury
 Hey, some of us like the pain. *Cough* Masochist. Apparently, some girl from California is suing the company that made her vibrator for $25,000 after the sex toy (allegedly) nearly killed her. I started to get faint from the loss of blood. My boyfriend called 911. By the time they got there, I was in... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
October 14, 2011 at 10:05 am
• 6 comments