The worst part about having a sleeping partner every single night of your life....is that you can't keep secrets.
Overnight, I got a craving for some of the leftover pasta sitting in the refrigerator.
It was 3 in the morning.
Now, if I was single and living by myself I could just drag my ass up out of bed and walk myself to the kitchen, sit in a chair and eat the damn pasta with a side of guilt.
But since I'm married, it's a little more complicated.
I of course, don't want to wake the sleeping giant slumbering next to me. But beyond that, I just don't want the fool to know I'm eating a second dinner in the wee hours of the morning.
Since I sleep on the side of the bed closer to the wall, I have to ever-so-carefully slither to the bottom of the bed as to not wake him.
Then I hold my breath hoping I don't bump into his freakish toe, which just so happens to be poking out from under the comforter.
Then I have to tip-toe to the door and hope he doesn't sense the change of weight in the bed.
If I make it into the kitchen without hearing... "hunny, what are you doing?" then I quickly make my way to the 'fridge and grab the pasta container.
But instead of sitting down like a normal human being, I grab a fork, kneel down in front of the 'fridge and start chowing down like Kobayashi.
So yeah, I'm basically sitting on my dirty kitchen floor in my pajamas at 3:15 in the morning, in front of the refrigerator, carbo-loading and praying my husband doesn't wake up and see me in such a vulnerable state.
9.5 out of 10 times he wakes up and sees me doing this.
Can't a girl get a little privacy when she sleep eats?
JENNYMILK
Filed under: Sex and Relationships
Tags: bedroom secrets, chicago, keeping secrets in the bedroom, sex, sex and relationships, sleep eating
He probably also knows most times when you are having sex. Also, if you are woofing down like Kobayashi, unless you have a bird's metabolism, you will be 250 pounds in no time, and have more problems. As Charles Barkley said last night, lay off the starches.