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My Last Post

My Last Post
A few weeks back I posed a question: why can’t the Husband change his last name? Turns out, one of my readers (a dude) did actually change his last name for his bride. Here’s his story (names have been changed so you shits don’t stalk him). Here’s how it happened. Anne Tag and I (Matt... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
January 3, 2012 at 6:01 am
• 3 comments

Holiday Poop

Holiday Poop
  Am I allowed to pinch it real quick? If I have to take a crap in a mall I’m going to kill myself. Husband and I about to head out to the mall. Of course he’s doing some last minute Christmas shopping (and apparently crapping), meanwhile I’m all done and going to buy shit... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 22, 2011 at 3:56 pm
• 1 comment

Bedroom Secrets

Bedroom Secrets
The worst part about having a sleeping partner every single night of your life….is that you can’t keep secrets. Overnight, I got a craving for some of the leftover pasta sitting in the refrigerator. It was 3 in the morning. Now, if I was single and living by myself I could just drag my ass... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 20, 2011 at 1:01 pm
• 1 comment
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Texts From Mom

Even though she’s known him nearly three years now…my mother keeps calling my husband by the wrong name. Granted, she does have a slight accent, but that really shouldn’t come into play during text message. O! I forgot to ask about the gift for savana when i saw math , so you can find out... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 13, 2011 at 9:10 am
• 1 comment

Husbands are like Dogs

Husbands are like Dogs
So my husband wakes me up around 5:30 this morning because of his shuffling out the door to head to work. Usually I just roll back over to sleep..but for some reason, this morning I stayed up for a bit. After a few minutes of laying in bed, I decided I needed to urinate. So... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 12, 2011 at 5:18 pm
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Dirty Elbows

Dirty Elbows
So I just came out of the bathroom and noticed I have black crap all over my elbows. I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with me using the facilities. Unless I use my elbows to ‘tidy up’ and I’m not fully aware of my acrobatics while using the loo. Regardless, I’m a little... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 6, 2011 at 1:28 pm
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No Peeking!

No Peeking!
Ahh December…the time of the year where I am not allowed to check my husband’s bank statement in fear of ruining my own Christmas gift surprise. But how am I supposed to keep track of and scold him for all the unnecessary lunches he is buying? Dude, I try and tell him…pack your lunch the... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
December 5, 2011 at 11:33 am
• 2 comments

I Smell Like a Man

I Smell Like a Man
If you bump into me today and all of a sudden you smell the overwhelming stench of “man”, don’t be alarmed. I ran out of deodorant and used my husband’s. “Speed Stick: Fresh Rush” I don’t know…what’s worse…smelling like a dude or smelling like day old cheese? Hopefully I don’t turn myself on later. JENNYMILK... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 29, 2011 at 7:37 am
• 8 comments

Why Can't the Husband Change His Last Name?

Why Can't the Husband Change His Last Name?
I used to be the type of girl that vomited sappy “I love you’s” to my boyfriend on his Facebook wall. I used to declare my adoration with nauseous inside jokes so that others could see. Now, I keep it (semi) private. Why? Because I feel if you have to overdo it with constant and... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 22, 2011 at 12:02 pm
• 6 comments
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Don't Forget the Pet Names!

What’s in a name? Apparently a lot of hidden meanings. I was having a Google chat conversation with my husband today when I congratulated him on his latest achievement. Instead of typing the usual (and somewhat obligatory) “Congrats Sweetie handsome sexy best husband in the universe”, I just typed his name. We’ll call him Wayne... Read more »
By Jenny Milk,
November 21, 2011 at 2:22 pm
• 3 comments