Don't Let Go of Your "First Love"

In the Name of the Compassionate and Infinitely Merciful Precious Beloved

As I continue to listen to "Lullabies" by Muslim singer/songwriter Yuna, there is more to this song than is first revealed. Indeed, on the surface, she sings about a love that she could not have:

I wanted to go away with you,
and I would leave all my troubles here.
I wanted to run away with you,
And I would bring all my dreams and fears.

I wanted to start again with you,
And I would leave all my worries here.
I wanted only you.
and all that I felt with you.

And she reveals in the chorus that she is always thinking about this long lost love:

Like lullabies you are,
Forever in my mind.
I see you in all,
The pieces in my life.
Though you weren't mine,
you were my first love.

Yet, I see it differently. I see her lamenting over her lost relationship with the Lord. I see her looking back in utter regret over having let go of the Lord and gone her own way. I see her feeling terribly sad at the loneliness of being without the Precious Beloved. And thus, she sings:

I wanted to go away with you,
and I would leave all my troubles here.
I wanted to run away with you,
And I would bring all my dreams and fears.

She wanted to go with the Lord, but - for whatever reason - she didn't. She wanted to leave all her troubles and walk with Him on the path, but - for whatever reason - she didn't. She wanted to run away with the Beloved, bringing all her dreams and fears, but - for whatever reason - she didn't.

And thus, she feels terrible; and alone; and sad; and remorseful.

Her regretful lamentation continues:

I wanted to start again with you,
And I would leave all my worries here.
I wanted only you.
and all that I felt with you.

It seems that she had a previous relationship with the Lord, but she let it lapse. She may have walked away, or neglected to walk along with Him. And so, she wanted to start again with Him, leaving all her worries behind. But - for whatever reason - she didn't. Despite her wanting only the Lord and nothing or no one else, she - for whatever reason - chose a different path.

And thus, she feels terrible; and alone; and sad; and remorseful.

Yet, still, the trace of the Beloved has not been completely erased. There is still something left from their once strong bond:

Like lullabies you are,
Forever in my mind.
I see you in all,
The pieces in my life.
Though you weren't mine,
you were my first love.

The Lord is forever in her mind, just like lullabies. She still can see Him in all the pieces in her life. And she readily admits that, although He is not hers (for God belongs to no one), He was her first love.

But I ask the question: why did this have to be so? This lamentation did not have to come to fruition. She should have never let her "First Love" go. She should have followed her first instinct and gone away with the Lord.

That is the key point: we should never let go of the Beloved, who is truly our "First Love." He loved us first, and one of the greatest manifestations of this Divine Love is that He gave us life when we were dead. Thus, we cannot help but love Him in return. And we must love Him first, for He loved us first. Thus, He is always our "First Love." And we should never let Him go.

And when we live in His love, we bask in its warmth; we bathe in its cool, refreshing water; we rest in its deep-seated serenity. It brings forth a happiness and peace that cannot be described. It fills our heart with a tranquility that is priceless. And so, why let that go? Why leave the side of our "First Love" ever? We should not.

Let us never let go of our "First Love." Let us never be as the narrator of this song: lamenting to her Lord that, even though she still sees Him in all the pieces in her life, she regrets not having gone away with Him. Let us never go there. Let us always be with our "First Love."

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