Through the eyes of a tablet

Last week my wife and I celebrated our 2-year wedding anniversary. Which is why these next two paragraphs are so hard for me to write. But sometimes in life you’ve gotta be vulnerable and open up even the most painful wounds. I never thought it would happen. Our marriage felt so strong. A foundation of... Read more »

Writers make terrible drivers

Every time my wife and I drive back to Michigan to visit my parents or go to the 45th wedding of the summer, there is a heated battle that takes place. The source of the problem is the Chicago Skyway. More accurately, the source of the problem is me. I’ll blame it on the bridge,... Read more »

The surprising product of laziness

In some ways I envy romantic couples from the 1700′s. And not specific to the 1700′s, I’m not saying that was THE century to be in love, I’m really just picking any time period when a man would pack his bags, stand in front of a giant whaling ship, kiss his wife goodbye and whisper,... Read more »

Love me a lazy Sunday

This is the first sentence I have written since June 27, 2015. Now, granted, there have been emails, texts and one tweet, but in terms of writing-writing, that was it. And now I’m kind of tired. My fingers need an ice bath. For anyone who read my post about How to write a book in... Read more »

How to Write a Book in One Year

Two and a half years ago I wrote a book called Medium Rare and put it on There is an e-book, a physical copy and little to no marketing strategy. I knew right away I wanted to do a sequel. I’d call it, “Luke Warm: The Reheated Sequel You Never Asked For.” I wanted... Read more »

DMV Survival Guide - Step by Step Breakdown

There is a lot of manufactured pressure once you finally walk into the secretary of state facility. Not real pressure of course, but sizzle pressure, the kind of low stakes, high nerve scenario that historically has been my kryptonite. Realistically, I had nothing to worry about. I had the right paperwork in hand. The only... Read more »

DMV Survival Guide - Where to go, What to Bring

I am used to Google searches that have instant gratification. How many NBA Titles did Steve Kerr win? Is the Fred Hoiberg hiring official? Is milk good for me or not? My DMV journey started the same way. Where’s the nearest DMV? The result was a Driver’s Express facility on Diversey. Any time you get the... Read more »

DMV Survival Guide - So You Haven't Updated your License

You can get by with an expired license for awhile in Chicago. It’s a surprisingly non inhibiting problem. Sure, you’ll get the occasional bouncer who calls you out, but if necessary you can always pull out the passport ego trip. For me, I only go to one bar in Chicago. It’s my Cheers where everybody... Read more »

No Milk May

Every May since 2012, I participate in a stupid tradition called No Milk May. It’s not a thing, nor do I hope it ever becomes a thing. I don’t have any supporters and that’s the way I like it. Because do we even know if milk is good or bad for us? The internet can’t seem to agree on... Read more »

Cleaning Out the Fridge Finale - The Middle School Monster

Middle school really wasn’t that bad of a time for me. By middle school standards, I did alright. I don’t have any painful memories from that era. No voice cracking during a presentation, no getting pantsed while slow dancing with a girl, didn’t get slammed into any lockers or any other universal “middle school sucks”... Read more »