#TheReturn: Will the Real Derrick Rose Please Suit Up?

#TheReturn: Will the Real Derrick Rose Please Suit Up?
Image via rantsports.com

I hate THIS Derrick Rose.

I say I hate THIS Derrick Rose to differentiate him from the Derrick Rose I watched grow up in front of my eyes, the Derrick Rose I love.

THIS Derrick Rose that I hate is not the hometown hero who led Simeon to Back-to-Back IHSA State Championships.

THIS Derrick Rose that I hate is not the local kid who led Memphis to the National Championship Game.

THIS Derrick Rose that I hate is not the Southsider who miraculously landed in the Chicago Bulls laps after they had a 1.7% chance of winning the draft lottery.

THIS Derrick Rose that I hate is not the former Rookie of the Year.

THIS Derrick Rose that I hate is not the 21 year old kid who asked the media during training camp, "Why can't I be MVP?" then proceeded to go out and win it.

THIS Derrick Rose that I hate is a fraud, an imposter, a different person entirely.

I don't know who THIS Derrick Rose is, or where exactly he came from, but I hate THIS Derrick Rose and pray to God that he goes away quickly.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is a liar.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he turned #TheReturn into "The Decision Part II."

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has publicly left the door open to returning while privately putting the nail in the coffin awhile ago.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has already made the decision not to come back this year but he has continued to lie to his fans, his organization, and his teammates.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because his decision not to return has been like cutting off his nose to spite his face - it includes "no provisions for turning back."

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he says "only God knows" when he'll return when the reality is only he knows.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he refuses to be honest with us.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is mentally weak.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because while physically cleared to return to basketball months ago he has refused to comeback.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because right now he is a little boy scared to jump off the diving board.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he lacks both the mental and testicular fortitude to do the one thing that will allow him to overcome his fear, take the plunge and get in there.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because by not returning he is psyching himself out.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because his is selfish to not return until he thinks "he is 110%" which is, by definition, impossible.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is putting mind over matter.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has lost his competitive drive.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because reoccurring nightmares of the 2011 Eastern Conference Finals are keeping him from going out to challenge LeBron.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is physically strong.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he was constantly "ahead of schedule" in his rehab yet has now missed even the tail end of his ETA.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he's somehow managed to be behind schedule without having suffered any setbacks.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has cleared every hurdle but won't cross the finish line.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he can dunk off both feet, cut on a dime, and run like a cheetah.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has not returned despite being medically cleared by his doctors to do so months ago.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose has become an able bodied man sitting around collecting disability.

I hate THIS Derrrick Rose because he is just as likely to re-injure himself in some meaningless pick-up game this summer as he is in the playoff game.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has degenerated into an empty suit with some money in the bank.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he refuses to do his job - something millions around us do for fun everyday for free.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is a professional basketball player who doesn't play basketball.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is cashing checks without putting in an honest day's work.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because if he were a stock, Jim Cramer would say: 'Sell, Sell, Sell..."

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because without basketball and the millions it provides him he lacks value to society at large.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because God put him on this earth to play basketball and he's refusing to do it.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is severely unaware of his surroundings.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he pretends to be oblivious to the mounting criticism of him.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has disappeared into a cocoon 89 floors up in the sky, a place where he can no longer be in tune with the pulse of the city.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he thinks we're gullible and stupid.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has abused everyone's trust when given the full benefit of the doubt.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has nearly exhausted his large bank of good-will.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he thinks he can pull this bullshit in the same town that almost crucified Jay Cutler for not returning to the NFC championship game, when he was in fact injured.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is somehow managing to make himself toxic in his hometown.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because four years from now when his contract is up it will lead him to LA to play for the Lakers.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is not being held accountable by anyone.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because while he is being thoroughly compensated for any risk to his body by the Bulls and Adidas both are fearful to criticize him for fear he will one day demand a trade or sign with Nike.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is being coddled by those in the media who don't want to lose access to him.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is being held to a double standard (remember the heat that Luol Deng took from the media when he refused to come back from his "lower boy injury" earlier in his career?)

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has turned Gar Forman, John Paxon, and Tom Thibodeau into his puppets.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has muzzled his teammates who fear speaking out against him may represent the end of their tenure in Chicago.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because Jerry Reinsdorf's reluctance to put pressure on him stems from an injury Jordan suffered earlier in his career (his career worked out fine enough).

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is setting a new, dangerous precedent, for professional athletes coming back from injuries.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has refused to listen to the doctors that tell him that his knee is as good as new (or better than that).

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is better than this, even if no one is willing to tell him that.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is electing to sit while completely healthy while his teammates are battling through injuries.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is being a terrible captain.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is healthy and sitting on the bench while Luol Deng is in the hospital getting a spinal tap.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is healthy and sitting on the bench while Nate Robinson is busy puking in trash cans and getting his lip sown up.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is healthy and sitting on the bench while Taj Gibson is gutting it out with a sprained MCL.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is healthy and sitting on the bench while Joakim Noah holds down the paint at both ends while battling plantar fasciitis.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is healthy and sitting on the bench while Kirk Hinrich has become a human MASH unit.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is being a bad teammate.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because the Bulls have proven all year they don't need DERRICK ROSE MVP to compete against the best yet he allows them to go out there night after night severely short handed.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because all his teammates need of him is 5 to 10 minutes a game to give Nate Robinson a breather.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because his mere presence would open up opportunities for his teammates.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because the threat of his 3pt shot would give Carlos Boozer more room to operate in the post.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because his ball handling and passing skills would be a major upgrade over Marquis Teague.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because his improved jump-shot doesn't help anyone in an Italian suit from the end of the bench.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he's got everyone talking about practice.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has underestimated the ability and the will to win of his teammates.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he continues to overshadow what otherwise has been a dream post-season.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is being a terrible role model to young athletes.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is being manipulated by idiots and is too stupid to realize it.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he allowing Reggie Rose to turn him away from the Bulls management.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has allowed Reggie Rose to convince him that this team lacks a supporting cast worthy of him.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he let Adidas and Reggie Rose make #TheReturn which put an unnecessary amount of external pressure and expectation on his comeback.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he has been shielded from the media for much of the season which has exacerbated the misunderstanding.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because as a fan of Derrick Rose I am selfish.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is costing us a great shot at the championship.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because his ego is causing him to throw away a season in his prime.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is denying me a chance to watch greatness.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because as a fan he is letting me down.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because hard working stiffs paid top dollar this season for tickets and and jerseys with the expectation that he would play (or at the very least do everything he could to return as quickly as possible).

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because when he made #TheReturn all he was doing was selling snake oil.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because he is a quitter.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose because I can't wrap my mind around how the guy who made this...

...and this...

...and this...

...and this...

...and this...

...and this...

...and this...

...he has decided to not even give it a go.

I hate THIS Derrick Rose.

Will the REAL Derrick Rose please suit up???

Please????

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