Chicago Blackhawk's Player Andrew Shaw Is Auctioning His Stitches For Charity - Why Not?

The Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research will be the recipient of 100% of the proceeds that Blackhawk player Andrew Shaw will have when he auctions off stitches he received when he was hit in the face by a puck. It happened in Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs – making the stitches more valuable? The stitches are framed with an autographed photo of Shaw.

How do you frame stitches? Do you use a glue gun? Velcro? Interesting.

Let’s play this out hypothetically… soon, somewhere, some guy is going to be madly jumping up and down very excited and will be shrieking to his wife, “I won, I won – I’m the Highest Bidder!”

At which point, the wife will probably cautiously ask, “Highest Bidder for what?”

Now, he will start to calm down as he realizes what he just did.

“Uh, uh, stitches, he will mumble with his face dropping down.

“WHAT did you say…STITCHES?” She won’t be getting the concept.

“Wait, wait, he pleads, let me tell you – they are Andy Shaw’s stitches.”

“Who is Andy Shaw?” She might not know. And most likely the deadly question will follow, as she asks, “How much was the Highest Bid for a bag of stitches?”

“No, no, it’s not a bag.” He will attempt to explain. “They’re framed.”

This will probably not impress her as she will repeat, “How much?”

He will then mumble a figure amounting to megabucks. His face will be frozen. This won’t go over well.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” She will probably be yelling.

Then will come his saving grace.

He will quickly blurt out, “It’s for charity. It ALL goes to charity. We’re donating to a worthy cause,” he will plead his case.

She might be silent at this point…taking a moment to process the charity angle.

“Charity, uh huh. OK.” And now she has a change of expression. She is softening. He breathes a sigh of relief.

And then, my guess is that she will grab her purse containing, of course, numerous charge cards and will head out the door.

“Where are you going, honey?” He will call after her. But, of course, he knows the answer: Shopping.

Yep, if he can buy somebody’s stitches for $$$$ --- she can buy---fill in the blanks---maybe jewelry, designer bags or clothing, or maybe a girl’s night out in Costa Rica for $$$$.

I’m just guessing – the Highest Bidder scene would have to play out something like that. But, hey, it’s really a brilliant idea. Is Andy Shaw going to start a new trend? Where could this go? What's next? Fingernail clippings?

Just then My Sports Guy walks into the room.

“Honey, I ask, would you bid on Mike Ditka’s whiskers at an auction?”

He gives me a strange look, like what are you talking about…but then he crinkles his face up as if he is thinking about it, and then he replies, “Maybe.”

Oh no, seriously? My mind is racing. If he’d bid on Ditka’s whiskers, he better not hear about Shaw’s stitches. Oh shit…there’s goes the nest egg. But, Costa Rica could be fun.
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