Nostradamus Predicts Bears 2012 Record

The profound prediction came in a text message.  My Sports Guy stared at the white square on his I-Phone.  OK – It wasn’t exactly Nostradamus.  It was from his friend, the Bartender/Very Knowledgeable Sports Enthusiast at a popular Chicago hangout in the Viagra Triangle .  I took a look.  All it said was 8-8.

“What’s 8 dash 8?” I asked.  “Your secret code – he’ll have 8 women for you if you show up at 8 o’clock?”

“NOOOO….He is saying that the Bears are going to go 8 and 8 – you know,” he explains further SLOWLY, “They are going to WIN 8 games and LOSE 8 games”

“I know what that means.  OK , whatever.”  I didn’t really know if that was cause for alarm or if an 8-8 record was sufficient for the playoffs.  I had no idea. I did know the answer would be long and complicated, and meaningless because at the time (several weeks ago) it was only a PREDICTION…

Which brings us to Last Sunday.  With the Bear’s loss to Seattle in the Overtime From Hell and injured players strewn all over the field – the Prediction was beginning to rear it’s ugly head.

FYI: The World of Sports is rampant with crystal balls.  Everyone is constantly predicting, predicting, predicting.  On Sunday morning, they even have real live bears at the Brookfield Zoo predict who will win the game.  They put out two helmets – Bears and whoever they are playing and whichever one the bear ambles over to is picked for the winner.  I believe the zoo bears actually have a pretty good record so far.

Anyway, back to the dilemma at hand.  With Mark the Soothsayer throwing out the 8-8, My Guy was giving some serious thought to a new strategy to thwart the four more pending losses.

“I don’t think that my Lucky Bears Shirt is working anymore,” he announced.  “Maybe I should stop wearing it.”  “You’re right,” I agreed.  “Why take the chance?”

Here’s the story on the once revered Lucky Shirt:  One day we are in the car doing errands, and we pass by a Thrift Store with a big truck in the parking lot and a sign saying Donate Clothing Here.  It just so happened that I had a few bags of clothes in the trunk that I was planning to donate to Good Will.  We pulled in and gave the guy the bags, and he says, “Here is a coupon for $3.00 that you can use toward anything in the Store.”

We decide to go in and look around.  Actually we go to a lot of estate and garage sales and thrift shops.   He is always looking for Sports Memorabilia, and I am always looking for Antique Anything.

So we’re browsing down the aisles and he spots this Bears Shirt on a rack.  Now, My Guy is a very classy, sharp dresser and he has always poo poo’d the idea of wearing used clothing – but now, he is eyeballing this shirt.  He says he likes the logo, the look, whatever.

“How much is it?” I ask.  He looks at the tag.  “$2.99.”  “Well this is meant to be, Babe,” I decide as I am clutching the $3.00 coupon.  “This is going to be your Lucky Bears Shirt.”

We proceed to the checkout and pay only the tax.  On the way home we are feeling the Super Bowl vibes that seem to be radiating from the Lucky Shirt. (Well, I am not, but he seems to be.)

The Shirt did seem to work for a while – I’m sure that it was the direct cause of a few wins…but then it started to fail. And now, he was officially declaring it unworthy.  The once Lucky – now discarded Shirt lay in the dirty clothes pile.  Maybe the previous owner experienced the same ultimate fate?  Maybe he wore it all last year?

But what about this year…four games left…we need a new talisman…a good luck something.  I think I’m going to start wearing my Orange Bracelet (it’s actually coral)…can’t hurt.  All I know is that we need some new Mojo and we need it fast…with the dreaded 8-8 still looming.





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