Bears Bulls and Pass the Mustard

Bears vs. Vikings last Sunday and Bulls vs. Dallas on Wednesday.  To quote Dickens…”It was the best of times.”  We went to both of the games and watched both teams win with remarkable EASE!  No nail biting – for a change – just a lot of bang for our buck.

We were excited to go to the Bears game – My Guy was revved up – just because he always is – but I was excited because it was the first game after Thanksgiving.  What does that mean - one might ask.  It means that it is the First Permitted Day (according to Peggy’s Rulebook on Acceptable Attire at Sporting Events) that one can wear their BEARS SANTA HAT.

I wore mine (orange with white trim and tassel) I was pleased – I thought it looked really cute.  You see, there is just a small window for the Bears Santa Hat.  POST Thanksgiving and through (I am being lenient here) New Years Day.  That’s it folks – then pack it away with the plastic mistletoe.  I started spotting Santa Hats as early as Halloween – unbelievable.

I am obsessed with Sports Attire Faux Pas’.  I spend a significant amount of time at every game perusing the crowd and picking out blatant violators.  I’ll say to My Guy, “Look over there.”  “Where?” “Five rows up.” “What?”  “Two guys in CUBS Jerseys,” I proclaim with much irritation.  “So what – watch the game,” he says. “Didn’t they get the memo?” I ask.  “We’re at Soldier Field – the CUBS aren’t playing today!”  “Relax – he says - who cares.”  He KNOWS this makes me crazy.  FYI:  I will be writing a lot more about this subject in future posts.  There are GUIDELINES, people and you need to know them.

So, while we’re on the subject of clothing…skip to Wednesday’s  Bulls Game.  We are in our seats, the national anthem is being sung and all is well.  My Guy is proudly wearing his very vintage leather Bulls jacket…undoubtedly a product of the Jordan era…for the first time this season.  (I relate to my Santa Hat premier.)  The Bulls head logo on his back is huge and bold, and mean looking.  Not subtle at all, but totally acceptable.  HOWEVER – I look at the front trim, and of course (no surprise here) there are multiple stains all the way down.  “Is that mustard from last year?” I shout over the end of the anthem cheering.  It had to be.  “We need to have this dry cleaned,” I announce with some firmness.  “It’s time.”

He gives me The Look…and I immediately know what my “Don’t touch my stuff” Sports Guy is thinking…he does not want to send this very precious jacket OUT anywhere.  He’s right, of course…what was I thinking?  What if the  Dry Cleaners LOST IT????  What’s a little mustard stain compared to me never hearing the end of that one?  I silently give him My Look of “All right – All right.”  Besides, I tell myself rationally…every game has the almost certain likelihood of a variety of new condiment stains.  I have learned to pick my battles.  The threatening issue is forgotten and he turns to me – back to the excitement of the game - and says, “I’m going to get a hot dog, honey…do you want one?”  “Sure, babe – but get a lot of napkins, OK?” Sigh.


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