Is women’s humiliation on national TV justified by their desire to find love?

I know, it’s a sign of the times. Whatever gets people talking or creates high ratings on TV becomes a show, hence the case of the show where women go on national television and rip each other apart as they try to win the heart of a single man, The Bachelor. Women humiliating themselves and each other because of love?  Sure, because that’s the best way to do it nowadays.

As of today, I still find it difficult to wrap my head around why some women will think that going in front of a national audience to compete for the (supposedly) love of a man, is a good way to find a husband. It takes much courage I’m sure, after all, they open a door to their personal life and that’s not easy. The ugly thing about this, is that as women go through this interesting adventure, there seems to be one thing that intensifies as the story develops: women being humiliated on a regular basis, all in the name of love. Sounds very ugly.

I don’t even know why I’m surprised, but I really am. Maybe because I think that there’s no reason why anyone would willingly put themselves on a public platform to be judged while supposedly looking for the love of their life (look at me with this post casting an opinion on these women). Maybe, it is because I had only heard about the show and never saw it, and although I only saw the first episode, that was enough to see how much these women compromise their integrity and self respect. The high rating-producing details on what these women do to each other to gain attention and not be booted from the show is ridiculous, disrespectful and extreme. So much, that at times it seems like the more these women humiliate or insult each other, the higher the chances they’ll become the chosen one.

Is all of this worth it in the name of love or finding a husband? I don’t think so. I find it difficult to believe that any women in her right mind will think that going on a show to fight over a guy-all while putting herself in situations completely unnecessary and highly humiliating, is a good decision to make. There must be other motives, because as desperate as some women are to find the one and get married, they sure know this is not the best way.

Love, as corny as it sounds, comes natural, not forced into a person’s heart. Yes, love makes us act stupid-and at times, can even put is in a position where we are not able to make rational decisions. Hey, that’s love (note that we’re not talking about sick psychotic love, that’s a whole different issue). What I don’t think love is, it’s when women put themselves in a position-like a TV show-to be humiliated just because they blindly and stupidly (pretend to) believe that is the path to finding true love.  Compromising their dignity because they want to be proposed to by a guy they barely know? That’s a bit too much for me to understand.

When I first saw the show, I could not help it but I started thinking about their families, specifically, their parents. I wonder how they felt or what they thought about seeing their daughter on national television making a fool of herself. I thought more about the girls though: so beautiful, successful and intelligent, yet, I’m still wondering why did they think that going on national television would be the best way to find love? They’re intelligent, so maybe it’s not love they’re after, who knows. Attention? Fame? Then, if that’s the case, go ahead, whatever they want to do is good for them, still hard to understand why they would want to put themselves in that position.

To find love, I insist: I don’t think this is the best way to do it. Yes, in this show there’s fun, endless romantic nights and fun days with the person that could potentially become their husband. That sounds like a wonderful, perfect vacation. However, there’s a minor detail to keep in mind: this is a temporary scenario created for a TV show and it will not last a lifetime. Eventually it will end and these women come back to reality, and when reality hits, we know it does not look like that. Reality is eternal, not temporary like a well crafted TV show, where self respect is compromised every time they make each other mad.

The best way to find love is the way it comes in real life: you meet someone, date, fall in love and if things go well, you marry that person, or not. We don’t know how life may deliver love, when nor with whom, all we know is that it may happen at some point. In real life, people nurture and work on their relationships, they also struggle to make them work, but not by fighting other women and humiliating themselves on national television. Yes, in real life people face difficult situations and try to solve them as best as they can, but again, not in front of an audience and other people who -more than positive, influence the relationship in a very negative way.

Of course there are exceptions to the rule. There’s a couple that after being on the show got married, had children and now live a real and happy life. It seems like it has to do with the fact that they’re far away from the public eye, just like a regular couple. There’s also the ones that got engaged and after the show concluded, their relationship ended. What were they left with? No idea, but maybe with a beautiful engagement ring, broken hearts and the experience of battling other women on national television to secure a man. Talk about a learning experience.

As you can see, I find it difficult to understand why anyone would subject themselves to being hurt, humiliated and attacked in the public arena as they look for love. I understand that these women are in search of a husband, but honestly, I think the real reasons of being on a show of that kind are far from that. Love hurts and it’s difficult to find, but under no circumstances it should come at the cost of willingly wanting to have your heart broken, while loosing your self respect in the journey. If that’s the case, then none of that is justified by love and maybe those women may want to consider other options to find true, long lasting love.

 

 

 

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