I'm not someone who commemorates dates on a calendar.
I was going to write that I am not someone who remembers dates but that's not exactly true.
I know that my mother passed away on New Year's Eve. That's kind-of an easy one to remember. I know that my father died on July 13. I know that when my mom died, I promised myself that I would commemorate her birthday each year by donating to one of her favorite charities - The Sierra Club or Heifer International of the Girl Scouts or DFA. But I only did it once because March 30th tends to come and go unrecognized around here.
I used to beat myself up about it. I worried that it meant I didn't care as much as the other people I knew who made note in Facebook statuses of important dates of loss and remembrance.
But now I think that maybe I just remember in a different way.
I have a new phone. I don't quite understand how and why it works the way it does. It has some interesting habits that I didn't program into it and don't know how to undo. Not that I want to . Which is good...cause I can't. One of the things it does is that it tells me whose birthday it is every time I check it - which is many, many, TOO MANY, I-think-I-might-have-a-problem, times per day. I didn't tell it to do that. It just does it. It says:
And every single time I see it, I think of my mom. Every. Single. Time.
Because if ever I would ask my mom what day it was...for instance, if I were to say, "Mom, is tomorrow Thursday?"
She would reply, "Tomorrow is Thursday. All day."
Isn't that cute? She was truly lovely.
I'd like to think that I will remember to tell my children a story about her on March 30th or that we'll take a moment out of our festivities every December 31st and pay tribute. I'd like to think I'll remember to make July 13th more than just another beach day. But I won't.
But one of these days, Bunny is gonna notice that I smile wistfully every time I check my phone and she'll ask and I'll have a sweet story to tell.
I might also throw in the one where mom caught her menu on fire at a Chinese restaurant because that one still makes me laugh.
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