On Anniversaries and Memories and Smart Phones

I'm not someone who commemorates dates on a calendar.

I was going to write that I am not someone who remembers dates but that's not exactly true.

I know that my mother passed away on New Year's Eve.  That's kind-of an easy one to remember.  I know that my father died on July 13.  I know that when my mom died, I promised myself that I would commemorate her birthday each year by donating to one of her favorite charities - The Sierra Club or Heifer International of the Girl Scouts or DFA.  But I only did it once because March 30th tends to come and go unrecognized around here.

I used to beat myself up about it.  I worried that it meant I didn't care as much as the other people I knew who made note in Facebook statuses of important dates of loss and remembrance.

But now I think that maybe I just remember in a different way.

I have a new phone.  I don't quite understand how and why it works the way it does.  It has some interesting habits that I didn't program into it and don't know how to undo.  Not that I want to .  Which is good...cause I can't.  One of the things it does is that it tells me whose birthday it is every time I check it - which is many, many, TOO MANY, I-think-I-might-have-a-problem, times per day.  I didn't tell it to do that.  It just does it.  It says:

Tina's birthday
All Day

And every single time I see it, I think of my mom.  Every. Single. Time.

Because if ever I would ask my mom what day it was...for instance, if I were to say, "Mom, is tomorrow Thursday?"

She would reply, "Tomorrow is Thursday.  All day."

Isn't that cute?  She was truly lovely.

I'd like to think that I will remember to tell my children a story about her on March 30th or that we'll take a moment out of our festivities every December 31st and pay tribute.  I'd like to think I'll remember to make July 13th more than just another beach day.  But I won't.

But one of these days, Bunny is gonna notice that I smile wistfully every time I check my phone and she'll ask and I'll have a sweet story to tell.

I might also throw in the one where mom caught her menu on fire at a Chinese restaurant because that one still makes me laugh.


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