This is the very first entry of my very first blog. There should be a trumpet fanfare here but I’m pretty low-tech. Doo do Doooooooooooooo. There you go.
This entry has had me stymied for about 6 months. How do you launch a blog? I have no idea. But I need to get this out there. And, let’s face it, this first entry will just be read by my friends. There will be subsequent entries where I get all funny or poignant or something that will cause people to share with their friends and that’s how these things grow so this first entry really doesn’t matter. Except it totally DOES because then those people who don’t know me and who like whatever entry I’ve written that was sent to them by a girl I went to high school with might say “Hmmm….let’s see what else she’s written…” and then they’ll come across this first entry in the archives. The pressure, ya’ll. The PRESSURE of beginning...
I generally love new beginnings. Scary and exciting and full of possibility. I get butterflies right along with my daughter every time a new school year starts. I love the back-to-school shopping. I love picking out folders with pictures of things she likes on the front. I am transported to 1978 in those moments. I’m dating myself. Yeah…whatever…I’m 43.
I have always had a bit of wanderlust. I get antsy when I stay put for too long. I hanker for something new and fresh. My husband was a kindred spirit in that way. Clearly...as he did not stay put. Sometimes it pays to have less in common with your mate. Life lessons, baby. This blog will be full of life lessons.
I am at a place where I am starting over pretty much from scratch…or, more accurately, I am starting over from a place where a little scratch with which to start over would be welcome. And it is terrifying and sad….really quite sad. But thanks to my love of new beginnings, there is also something really exciting about it. Thank goodness. What do those people who fear change do when their universe falls apart? I don't know. I worry. Because the one thing I can tell you – as sure as I am sitting here at 8:03 on a Saturday morning banging out a blog entry I was supposed to write 6 months ago – is that the Universe will, at some point, slam down upon you and knock you off your chosen path. It just will. It has happened to me more than once and now it is your turn so watch your back. (I gave the Universe your address - just to get her to move on. Don't be mad.) And, because she has a really caustic sense of humor, she, the Universe, will erase the path you were on before you can get back up and find it again. So you’ll look around for a moment to see if you can find a new path you might like and when you spot it and begin walking toward it, the bitch will trip you. She will. So you'll crawl over to the nearest path you can find and you'll just start running on it…whatever the hell it is….just to get away from where you were. And then you'll realize this path leads down into a huge, dark canyon and if you want to get back up to the light, you’ll have to ride a donkey. Only you’re scared of donkeys. Those teeth! Am I right?
But the Universe dictates you gotta get on that donkey. Embrace the donkey. EMBRACE THE DONKEY. Repeat that three times today. Full voice. In public. It will change your life.
I don’t actually know if I’m scared of donkeys. I was around some once on the day we scattered my mom’s ashes around a Girl Scout camp. That probably sounds weird but she had been instrumental in raising the funding for a lot of the buildings. It wasn’t like we thought, “Hey – wouldn’t it be funny to throw these ashes on a bunch of girl scouts? Imagine the looks on their faces!” But now that I think of it, that would be really funny. Next time….
Look, I gotta wrap this up. This blog will be about the thrilling, exciting adventure it is to suddenly be a 43-year-old single, custodial parent of two children. It will be about the practical considerations of maintaining a life with half the money we used to live on. I will most likely rant about random things that bug me – but the good news is, the angrier I get, the funnier I am. So that’ll work out OK. Occasionally an entry might be some sort of stream-of-conscious surrealist play and you'll be all like, "What the heck is this?!" I'll tell you what it is. It's ART. Embrace it or you're a communist.
I promise at least one entry a week. I promise that once a month I will have an entry that outlines an affordable adventure in the Chicagoland area that I will embark upon with my children, Bunny and Pip, (not their real names) – because affordable is where it’s at right now. AND, because I work best with specific assignments and deadlines, I will take suggestions from you. What do you want me to write about? Leave it in the comment section and I’ll do my best…unless it’s stupid.
That’s it. Find some fun today.
You guys? I seriously want to put a directive in my will about sprinkling my ashes on unsuspecting scouts. Is that wrong? Feel free to weigh in.
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