Every year Christmas always has its fair share of Grinches and Ebenezer Scrooges bashing the holiday spirit. I’ve noticed an even more pervasive amount of anti-Valentine’s Day singles expressing their disdain for this holiday; love Eris’ if you must. Eris being the daughter of Ares – goddess of dischord – While Cupid uses his arrows to create love, Eris would split them apart.
Here some of the great anti-Valentine’s Day tweets and Facebook statuses that I have come across. I’ll start with my very own…
@male_perspectiv
Patiently waiting for a girl at work to get an edible arrangement so I could eat all the pineapple flowers… #ValentinesDay
@danecook
Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you’re single & lonely then it’s called Laundry Day.
@MensHumor
#ValentinesDay? How can anyone be romantic on a day abbreviated “VD”?
@MensHumor
#ValentinesDay: The only day of the year that heart shaped antacids can possibly get you laid.
John Magcale via Facebook
Valentines day means you get to put it in her butt.
Sturphie Marie via Facebook
Valentine shmalentine…EVERY day should be a celebration of love, ya hippies.
<3
Kyle Zapalik via Facebook
National “Hopefully my boyfriend out does my friends boyfriends” Day
Tanya May via Facebook
Tonight is the perfect night to troll the city for undateable alcoholics.
@anamariecox
I think you should get tested. #candyheartrejects
@joeycrisis
You remind me of my mom #candyheartrejects
@cfrdnflds
It’s a good thing I don’t have a boyfriend because that bastard wouldn’t be getting any today anyway.
@theStealthBomber
It all evens out next month, Steak and Blow Job day, March 14th…
Angela Caringella via Facebook
Happy V-day! I just say V because I like to leave it open for interpretation. It can mean anything you want.
Scott Hoiby via Facebook
Enjoy your VD everybody!
@PatrickFacy
Thanks again hallmark, for scheduling the days I should cherish my loved ones. I couldn’t sustain a relationship without ya. #valentinesday
@AnnaDiCarlo
Man lurking in the hall with roses is not a stalker today. J #valentinesday
@Mr_Nasty2Q10
It’s gonna be a lot of ASS licked and ate tonight #valentinesday
@SoYouMadHoe
I Don’t Want No Flowers, Candy, Card or None Of That Shit Just Hand Over The Weed & Wraps!
@male_perspectiv
I remember sending flower grams to all the hottest teachers in hs on #ValentinesDay
@lax4jack
I blame deforestation on #ValentinesDay
I love that single people could still make light of this day amidst a sea of super chummy, love sappy tweets and Facebook posts. Enjoy it and don’t let it be a day that makes you feel lonely. Laugh at the culture of mass consumption that we live in and be grateful that you’re not spending any money on materialistic gifts, flowers, or dinners. Take it or leave it ;)
#tmp
Filed under: Advice, Sex & Relationships, Sex and Relationships
Tags: advice, boyfriend, cupid, dane cook, dating, ebenezer scrooge, Facebook, facebook statuses, girlfriend, grinch, heartbreak, love, marriage, relationships, single-life, the male perspective, tips, tmp, twitter, valentine's day, valentines day tweets
#candyheartrejects = best hashtag since #shawfacts
There were so many hilarious one's, its a shame I only included two.
I really Like your awesome Funny Facebook Statuses. your collection about statuses are really stunning. i really like your undateable alcoholics Status. we are really trying to make some Funny Facebook Statuses for you guys hope you like it.