Spoiler Alert: Do not read if you haven’t seen True Blood Season 7, Ep. 7 – “May Be the Last Time.”
“Well then, let’s just dance.” — Keith
This week on True Blood’s farewell tour of forgotten secondary characters we got an extended return from Hoyt, a brief visit from Niall and a much appreciated moment with the late, great Steve Newlin.
And also some stuff happened.
But to be fair, not a lot of stuff worth discussing. It was inevitable that True Blood would be unable to sustain its focus and pace from the first half of the season, yet the return to from is disappointing. True, there is usually some lull in every season as it amps up for the final three episodes, but the lull that True Blood is currently in does not bode well for a satisfying finale.
Even the farewell tour was half-assed this week. Steve Newlin was fun, but fleeting; Niall served no actual purpose than to give Sookie as excuse to bring up her one-time use only, vampire killing light ball (can it still be called foreshadowing if its writing out in giant neon letters?); and there was absolutely no reason for Hoyt to be anything more than a voice on a telephone in this last season. And having Jason go all gaga over Hoyt’s new lady love certainly serves no purpose to the story. We’ve already had the Jason/Hoyt love triangle storyline and it was actually pretty well done. What point is there to raising those same themes with only three episodes left and when we all know that Jason and Jessica will end up together?
Even the “giving us touching moments with the characters we love” portion was lacking this week. Sure, Arlene and Keith dancing was lovely and Andy crying over the peacefulness of a lake was equal parts funny and touching, but in an episode where so little else happened the scenes felt like the time waste they were.
As it stands, it looks like the final season of True Blood will end the same way every season of True Blood ends: with a rescue mission. This time the rescue-ees are Adilyn and Wade, currently trapped in Violet’s sex dungeon. I understand that Violet is using Adilyn as bait to get to Jessica, but it simply makes no sense. If Violet was half the badass bitch the writers have painted her as, she would march over to Jessica’s house, kick down the door and have a proper fight. She’s got hundreds of years on the baby vamp, there’s no need for all the theatrics.
But what would True Blood be without its theatrics?
And while Jessica and whoever has nothing else to do at the time are freeing Adilyn and killing Violet (because obviously), Eric, Pam and Mr. Gus will be capturing Sarah/Numi and creating a cure for Hep-V, thus saving all of vampire-kind and everyone will live happily ever after. Who knows, maybe Sookie will be so thankful for a cure that we’ll get a final farewell sex scene between her and Eric too.
Or maybe the cure will fail and they’ll all die anyway. The never-ending, tedious flashbacks to Bill’s human life certainly seem to suggest he’ll be dying. They’re taking a lot of time this season in painting Bill’s wife as his one true love when the first six seasons were all about painting Sookie that way. But this way, if he dies he’ll be reunited with the love of his life and, of course, his daughter.
The options are endless and equally as likely because with only three hours left in the series we’re no closer to understanding the point of any of it. But hey, at least we got to see a doughy, veiny, naked Bill Compton one last time, right?
Enjoy this post? There's plenty more where this came from. Like us on Facebook so you never miss out!
Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.