Spoiler Alert: Do not read if you haven’t seen True Blood Season 7, Ep. 2 – “I Found You.”
I did not survive four lousy husbands, a serial killer boyfriend and the sorta suicide of my love, Terry, to die in the dingy basement of a fucking vampire bar. — Arlene
In a season all about saying goodbye it’s understandable that a majority of the season will be also be about thanking the audience for sticking through until the end. And what’s a better thank you than some steamy Eric on Jason action? Nothing I tell you, nothing. So thank you True Blood writers, thank you for finally making good on the promise you teased last season. And thank you for making it (almost) as gratuitous and objectifying as every other sex scene in the show’s history.
But Jason’s little sex dream wasn’t the last we saw of our dear Viking vampire. After a non-too extensive search, Pam found Eric alive, if not well. Yep, he survived bursting into flames, but he has Hep-V. The lameness of this almost eclipses the awesomeness of that sex scene. Almost.
Tell me, what is the point of (basically) killing off a beloved character only to miraculously bring him back and then give him a terminal illness? It is shameless audience manipulation, made all the worse because it’ll clearly work. I’m already happy to see Eric and also dreading his (second) true death.
Meanwhile, back in the main plotline, Sookie got around to mentioning the dead body she came across during her suicidal midnight stroll and invited herself along to visit the dead girl’s hometown. But there was no one to roll out the welcome wagon for them because the gang of H-Vamps had decimated the whole town.
While poking around the ghost town, Sookie came across the diary of a girl who fell in love with a vampire and the lovelorn writings triggered Sookie’s own golden-hued memories of when she first fell in love with Bill. So once they were back in Bon Temps it was time to take another ill-advised moonlight walk across the cemetery to Bill’s house where she basically asked if he needed to drink some more of her blood… or whatever.
As twisted as the visit was, it wasn’t the dumbest choice Sookie as ever made. She could do with a little extra protection. The people of Bon Temps have officially lost their shit.
About three seconds after Sam and Andy left for Saint Alice, the almost-mayor succeeded in convincing everyone to abandon the idea of peace and safety and become the pitchfork-wielding mob they always knew they could be.
It seems to me, now that they know to expect the H-Vamps, it would be easy to just stay inside when it’s dark out. Vampires are actually pretty easy in avoid. Just stay inside and don’t let them get close enough to glamour you. Done and done. No need for guns (which, unless they have wooden bullets, will be no help whatsoever). No need to overthrow the city government. Just stay the fuck inside.
Staying inside won’t help Arlene, Holly and Nicole, already being held captive in the basement of Fangtasia. But, for a minute it looked like a little human compassion might do the trick. Arlene recognized one of the H-Vamps as her children’s former teacher. She managed to convince the woman to help free them, but at the critical moment the vampire succumbed to her illness and died in Arlene’s legs.
So now they are no closer to freedom and Arlene is also infected with Hep-V. Since she is the only human character we know of to be a carrier, I feel like this will come into play at some point in the future.
Because the storyline is so condensed for once, “I Found You” came across as a somewhat uneventful episode. But what it lacked in violence and sex, it made up for in genuine interactions and character development. And that respect for the audience; perhaps that is actually the greatest thank you of all.
Just kidding, it was totally the gay, vampire sex.
- If these H-Vamps are all dying, and all know that they’re dying, why not just hang out in the sun and go out on your own terms? The choice to hunt and kill towns full of people is disturbing.
- You know people are really grasping for something to believe in when a man waltzes into a bar and proclaims the mayor is a dog and everyone is like, “yeah ok, lets steal some guns.”
- When the other H-Vamps come down and find a dead vampire between Arlene’s legs, how obvious will it be that it was an escape plan? Hopefully they just assume she was trying to eat more than her share.
- Does Lettie Mae actually think she’s communicating with Tara while on V, or is she, as Lafayette said, “a drug addict, trifling bitch”?
- Why didn’t the bite mark on Jessica heal? What is that? What?
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