AHS: Coven Review - Go To Hell

AHS: Coven Review - Go To Hell

Spoiler Alert: Do not read if you haven’t seen American Horror Story: Coven, Ep. 12 – “Go To Hell.”

“You’re just like Halston when he sold his line to J.C. Penny. You’ve forsaken your destiny.”  – Mrytle Snow

I’d like to take this moment to impart some wisdom I’ve gained from my years of experience being a functional human being in society to the writers of American Horror Story: Coven. The more you use something, the less special it becomes. More specifically, the more you kill off every character on your show, the less shocking killing every character on your show becomes.

Almost every single person on Coven has been murdered or mutilated in some way and is has never meant a thing. Witches have been killed and tortured and decapitated and come waltzing back into the storyline on a leash with nothing more than dismissive, “magic, or whatever.”

So now, when the culmination of these weeks of nonsense you have tried to pass off as a cohesive storyline amounts to nothing but more death and torture and decapitation, I’m left with no other reaction than “do we really have another week of this?” When you repeatedly depict something as having no consequence you can’t expect it be thrilling ending for the audience.

At least we can say for sure that the point of this season is finding the new supreme. But why exactly does everyone want to be the leader of the coven? Since convening together to learn nothing at all about witchcraft, half these girls have been killed and all have suffered emotional distress. Why are they all so eager to spend a lifetime with a bunch of bitches who have tried to kill them? It has never been explained and I doubt the time will be taken to do so next week. I guess we can just say its magic, or whatever.

And that nonsense LaLaurie was spouting about how messed up the world is? Listen, Coven, you can’t spend 12 weeks doing nothing but chewing scenery and making no sense and then attempt to slip in some DEPTH. Previous seasons barely got away with it, but you certainly aren’t in the position to pretend you are anything other than a joke.

Finally, I do not want to live in a magical realm where death is only temporary or downright impossible, but a small conk to the head will knock you out and allow you to be chopped up into little bits or even entombed. Those are some lame magical parameters.

Oh, and one last thing, depicting female empowerment as a gang of witches repeatedly stabbing Danny Huston is what gives feminism a bad name.

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