Appreciating the right time, acknowledging the wrong

Appreciating the right time, acknowledging the wrong

Whether you are religious and have faith in a bigger purpose/plan or believe only in luck and coincidences, I think most of us can agree that sometimes things just happen at the right time. I've talked about this many times before on my blog through various posts and in many ways, the bulk of my posts are about things happening at the right time: many of the writing opportunities I have had came about because I was feeling shitty enough about myself at the right time that I applied for opportunities and someone actually responded, I saw two separate ads on Craigslist at the right time that led to the two lovable furballs I have now, I was at Jewel at the right time a few weeks ago to get the last box of strawberry shortcake ice cream bars on sale. The list goes on.

I think what's fascinating about people is our willingness to say that we were simply somewhere at the right time when it comes to our successes, but rarely do we attribute our failures with being somewhere at the wrong time. This is a good thing only because it keeps us humble while accepting responsibility, but bad because we're continuously beating ourselves up, questioning our worth.

As some of you may know, I finished writing my book last month. One of my greatest fears is about being rejected because this is my labor of love child. It sprouted out of my fears and heartache and it's seven-years-old. It can walk and tell you terrible jokes while spilling the punchline too early. It can make you laugh as well as it can cause the gears in your head to turn. I know that when I begin to query agents, for each day of silence, I am going to tell myself that I wasn't good enough. Even knowing how much time and effort I put into it, I will convince myself that my work was unworthy of a response. But I don't want that for myself. I don't want that thought or feeling about anything for any of you.

I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing something you have done or created has merit. To say that your manuscript did not elicit a response because you actually sent it to the wrong agent, or it got lost in the pile, that maybe that agent had just had their heart broken and they didn't respond to you because you had the same name as their now ex even though meeting two Mahjabeens in one lifetime is supremely unlikely.

I think it's ok to think, yeah, it just wasn't the right time.

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