It’s going to be ok…
I’ve been thinking about this negative cliché about turning 30, especially for women, and in trying to change your mind that your 30’s are not so bad, in fact, they’ve been pretty great so far for me. I cant help but remember that I did have that sad, bittersweet feeling about a month before my 30th birthday. Most people expect to feel like crap once you hit “30” – but it is wrong, OH SO WRONG!
I went away over the weekend and began reading “Something Borrowed” by Emily Griffin and this book made me realize why we as women tend to get a little sad about ending our “Fun 20’s” and entering a new era. I made the connection and therefore now understand and give you permission to be a little pissed off, but not for too long – I am here to turn that frown upside down.
Women, if you are anything like me, you probably grew up thinking our that turning 30 was old, in fact, imagining your life 15-20 years into the future was almost science fiction. When I was younger, I wanted to be married by 25 and have children at 27. Of course, that did not happen. You all know I just got married at 31 and still no children – It’s only been 10 weeks. A timeline of goals that are so specific and life altering can certainly let you down when not met. Sometimes it takes time to finally settle down, if marriage is even in your plans, everyone is different of course.
Biological clock ticking? This is what gets to me the most. I know it’s a sensitive subject but this is just the truth- Here is the thing though, having children in your 30’s is starting to increase for women and families. A lot of societal changes are happening, people are waiting to have babies because they are waiting to get their careers established therefore being more financially secure creating a stable environment for children to grow. It is acceptable for women to have babies in their 30s as it is for women to have babies at 16. I feel that societal pressure is not a concern and therefore, I challenge anyone who blames society for feeling pressured to have a baby. The worry about a woman’s biological clock is the truth! It carries a certain sadness to know that risks increase in your 30’s in childbearing, and even more after 35.
Even if you didn’t want a family in your 20s, it is possible that you have changed your mind in your 30s. It is logical to panic. As stated previously, pregnancy is riskier. The chances of having a child with downs syndrome, being infertile, and having a miscarriage are high.
On the bright side, we are aware of this statistic and have become a society where heathy, fit, and nutritious lifestyles are “popular” and easy to obtain. Keeping healthy in your 30s is widely important for this reason.
You don’t want to give your body any more reason to be unwell so treat it right! Penelope Trunk states on a blog about turning 30 (blog.penelopetrunk/2011/02/17/advice-for-women-turning-30/) “Get rid of whatever it is that is bringing you down.” This means junky foods, junky friends, lack of exercise and lack of passion for life. Fix whatever it is holding you back and find your will to change!!!
So now that you’re 30 you will never be the next “American Idol,” donate your eggs to the less fortunate or be a surrogate mother, or walk on to your favorite college sports team, but you can say that you’ve accomplished a lot-- perhaps you bought a house or condo, obtained a degree, have a great start on your career, traveled the world, taught overseas, have a great group of friends, are a wonderful and blessed aunt, daughter, sister, wife, or girlfriend the list of accomplishments could go on and on. Women in our generation have more opportunities now than ever. We have more than just the right to vote now, and I believe MOST of you have been able to take advantage of these acts of equality.
Here are some helpful tips and reminders: (taken from August’s Glamour Issue 2011 by Emma Rosenblum. Pg 172-175)
- It’s never too late to reinvent yourself! Don’t forget that Suze Orman and Martha Stewart did not make it big until their 40s!
- Watch out for lofty goals! Like I mentioned before – setting a goal to have a baby when you are 27 is too much. This year, my goal is to try crossfit ( a workout routine) and start a bookclub with my girlfriends. Pretty easy goals to obtain but will be very rewarding for me when I do.
- Talk to an elder family member or friend – mother, grandmother, or a great aunt - when you are feeling really down about your age. They will probably tell you to suck it up and stop acting like a child.
- Look at baby pictures of yourself! My how you’ve grown into a beautiful women.
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