The Case For "Life's Short. Get a Divorce."--Letterman and Lasko

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Why does a dog lick his balls? The same reason that men cheat...because they can. Behind every powerful cheating man, there seems to be some low self-esteemed woman willing to settle for sloppy seconds in an attempt to cash in as the "hedge fund paramour" or to convince him to leave his wife/girlfriend because she is the "one."  If the "other woman" thought about this scenario logically and had true self-confidence, she would  realize that the cheater is not leaving. The irony is that the "other woman" is clearly being used as a tool to build the confidence and ego of the cheating man, while her own self esteem is unknowingly being eroded.   But I  will save discussion about the dynamics of the mistress for another day.

Rather, the focus of this post is the humiliated partner.  To that end, David
Letterman has been the hot topic of affairs gone awry. Most of you have
seen or heard about the Letterman sex scandal. If not, in a nutshell, a
CBS producer, Robert Halderman "blackmailed" Letterman and requested
that Dave pay him the sum of $2 million dollars in exchange to keep
Dave's secret safe. The secret involved Dave having multiple sexual
relationships with female members on his staff. Halderman threaten to
expose Dave in a screenplay if Dave did not pay him.  As a result, Dave
softened the blow by making a public announcement on his show that he
was indeed having sexual relationships with members of his staff.  Then
days after revealing on air that he'd been sexually involved with women
from his television program, Dave apologized to his wife on his "Late
Show," saying that his wife had been "horribly hurt by my behavior." 
Dave publicly vowed to work on repairing his relationship with his wife
of one year and partner of over 20 years, Regina Lasko.

We can clearly name all the recent cheaters, from John Edwards to
President Bill Clinton, Governor Elliot Spitzer, Governor Mark Sanford,
Frank Gifford, New York Governor, Mark Patterson, San Francisco Mayor,
Gavin Newsome, Actor, Matthew Broderick and the list goes on. The
common element of all of these men is  despite well-publicized reports
of their husbands' extramarital affairs, the wives opt to stand by
their man through it all. Even with that continued sense of outrage,
betrayal, disappointment, shame, distrust and of course, that natural
feeling of being less attractive or somehow blaming themselves, the
wives choose to remain in the relationship. They all seem to have the
same mantra of staying because of the children or keeping the family
intact.

As someone who has been cheated on, I cannot help but think about the
immense difficulties for a wife staying in the marriage when the
ultimate betrayal has occurred.  The intimacy is gone and happiness is
fleeting even if the cheater professes that he wants to change and work
on the relationship. The problem with staying is that the focus again
centers on the cheater and his narcissistic conduct that brought the
couple to this point. The wife must not only deal with the pain, hurt
and inevitable destruction of self-esteem while still focusing on
forced forgiveness in order to "work" on the relationship.  

This all begs the ultimate question....At what point does personal
happiness become paramount before saving a sinking relationship and
yourself?  At what point do you profess self-assurance instead of
continued depletion of your self esteem by staying under the power and
control of the cheater? Even self help books advise people to eradicate
negative and abusive relationships when seeking happiness. So how is
leaving a marriage any different?  Of course I recognize these are 
private decisions but I personally applaud Regina Lasko for having the
chutzpah to request a public apology and notwithstanding the apology,
still procuring a divorce from Dave.

In leaving Dave, Lasko demonstrates
the qualities of a leader with a sense of personal dignity, conviction,
intelligence and self respect. Lasko sends out a message that more
women should adopt when being mistreated by their lover or spouse -
that THEY remain strong and in charge of their own destiny in the face
of the ultimate betrayal; that THEY deserve to be treated with class,
dignity, love and compassion; and that THEIR feelings and relationships
are not to be treated like disposable objects.

Lasko's decision to leave Dave actually sets her apart and further shows her ability to act as an
important and positive role model.  Many people say that a
person should stay with a cheating spouse "for the children" and to
keep the family together, irrespective of the emotional toll and other
myriad of problems. Lasko, by her very conduct in refusing to tolerate
Dave's substandard, inhumane treatment of her, is teaching others an
invaluable life lesson, to wit, that treating people with respect and
consideration is not just an important way to live your life, but the
only way to live your life.

All in all, Lasko should be commended for standing up for herself and
telling a cheating Dave that his lame apology (that even he treated
like a joke) does NOT make his conduct "okay," that it cannot and will
not repair the damage that he caused to their relationship and family,
and that she will not continue be subjected to such maltreatment. Lasko
has recognized and acted on a valuable life lesson, namely, that life
is far too short to be unhappy and married to a heartless, selfish and
manipulative man who treats her as a subordinate while lying to all
involved.

Comments

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  • WOW! Is this ever right on point! It's about time one of the ladies stood up and said, NOPE, get lost ya looser. We all deserve a faithful spouse, but once they have shown that they can't be trusted as a spouse, I'd dump em as well.....

    Life is too short to be bothered with someone who can't make you a priority in their life....chin up, move on!

  • In reply to LilSpicy:

    Thanks Lil Spicy...could not agree with you more. The post can actually applies to anyone in a cheating relationship--man or woman.

  • In reply to LilSpicy:

    I agree that every individual in a relationship has the right to expect monogamy and faithfulness from their partner. That being said I am sure that there are men and women both who eithare are in or have been in relationships where infidelity has occurred.
    When it happened to me I had to make some hard and fast decisions and no matter how hard I tried I couldnt escape the fact that whatever decision that I made was going to have consequences. I feel for the Letterman family and hope that somehow they can keep it together.

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