Question From Joey S.
Barrington, Illinois
I have never written to an advice column but I am desperate for help. I have been dating this beautiful and incredibly sexy woman for two years. I am crazy about her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. She is 29 years old and I am 58 years old. I am quite wealthy and divorced. She has never been married. I also have 3 grown children.
Before I even started dating this woman seriously, we had the talk and
I told her that I never wanted to have children. She was agreeable and
even said she did not possess that nurturing instinct. Last week when
we were discussing plans to marry, she dropped the bomb and said that
she changed her mind and wants to have children. The next day, she
brought it up again and even gave me an ultimatum and said she was
breaking up with me if I do not marry her and have babies.
I am so distraught. I cannot eat or sleep. I love this woman. I know I
do not want any more children but I do not want to lose her. Can you
please help me?
LOVE LAWYER:
Joey, I do not envy you, your decision or the path you are about to
embark. Your decision requires intense introspection, willpower and
logic. It would be extremely selfish for you to try to change Ms.
Sexy's mind in order to satisfy your own needs. The problem with the
scenario you described is that any compromise will inevitably result in
resentment by either you or Ms. Sexy.
You effectively have performed a hysterectomy on Ms. Sexy without
offering her any alternatives. To that end, if Ms. Sexy stays with
you, she will eventually detest you and blame you for wasting her child
bearing years only to be barren. Let's not even discuss how she will
treat you after she sees relatives and friends with infants. Can you
say "B-L-U-E B-A-L-L-S?"
Likewise, if you do marry her and have a child, you will blame her and
possibly the child for ruining your freedom and care free
relationship. Forget about last minute trips to the French Riviera or
rambunctious weekend trysts.
You really need to do some soul searching
and determine if you possibly want to attend your child's high school
graduation in Depends. If not, you must exercise the utmost strength
and let her go.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Tags: Children, Love, Marriage, relationships, Ultimatum
