Being compatible is a requirement

Being compatible is a requirement

Dear Love from the Brain,

How important is compatibility? I am having a really hard time moving on from my ex and I think the biggest reason is because we were so compatible, alike and comfortable with each other that now the thought of having to actually search for it again is discouraging?


Dear MG,

To answer your question, I think compatibility is important. Being compatible is more of a requirement that anything else. It’s needed to actually begin a relationship before you can even begin to evaluate the relationship.

When I think about compatibility, I think about video games and game systems. You know, if there’s a game you want to play and it comes available for all game systems – PlayStation, Wii, X-Box, etc., - you have to get the game that is compatible with your game system. However, the game can still suck. It could quite possibly be the worst game ever made. However, it was compatible. I feel the same way about relationships. A person being compatible is required just to play. But after you start playing, you may find that the person sucks.

I cannot undervalue compatibility. As I said, it’s a requirement.  Compatible – according to my American Heritage dictionary - means “capable of existing or functioning well with another or other.” At the point when two people are no longer able to function together, all is lost even if the person is amazing. Sticking with my game analogy, it’s like that dreadful day when you put your favorite game in your system and it doesn’t read. The game is amazing, awesome and your reason for living but because it is no longer compatible, you can no longer play.

You made it clear that this person is your ex. And you said “were so compatible.” Is it possible that the compatibility is gone? Is this why this person is your ex?

I think the real issue here lies in the last twelve words of your email. “The thought of having to actually search for it again is discouraging?” I’m sure it is. We humans desire ease and so that which seems hard and challenging we find discouraging. Moving on it hard. There is no doubt about that. Claude says, “All things are hard in the beginning” and I believe him. You must believe that if you decide to move on it will get easier as time passes. You must also believe that there is someone out there for you that will provide the same comfort, compatibility and sameness that you found with your ex.

Good luck and I hope this helps.

- Love from the Brain

Remember. No always. No never.

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