State your business

State your business

State your business.

So, on Facebook the other day, the very talented Ana Fernatt aka Accidentally Sexy suggested that I write a book called “How to Fiancé.” Apparently, Ana believes that I am doing a good job at being that guy and I should inform others on how to be the same. I took the suggestion as a complement and, I can’t lie, I thought about it for a minute. But as I thought about the idea, I thought about where I would begin and when I thought about the beginning, I realized that I had nothing to do with it. It had everything to do with her.

At the moment when we decided to be official, when we decided to be an actual couple not just two people seeing each other, my fiancée said, “I want to get married. I will not be in this relationship if it’s not going to lead to marriage.”

I knew we were getting married almost two years ago. I knew because she made that clear at the beginning. She stated her business. So, how to fiancée? State your business. At the beginning.

I think that’s where many people fail. They either wait too long to state their business or they don’t state it at all. I would assume, for these people, that the desire to be in a serious relationship trumps the desire to be married and so one does not state their desire to marry so that they don’t lose the person who doesn’t want to get married. However, the truth is that choice is as silly in real life as it sounds when you read it.

You want to be married but you really want a serious relationship so you don’t state your desire to be married so you can have a serious relationship with someone who doesn’t want to get married.


If you want to be married, say it. Own it. There’s nothing wrong with that. Tell everyone you meet you want to get married. If they run for the hills, great. You don’t want that person anyway.

I’m not saying every guy is a standup guy. I know for a fact that there will be people who will date a woman that states she wants to get married and not follow through. But I also believe that there are standup guys out there. I believe that there are men out there that want to get married. I also believe that there are men that don’t want to get married but want to marry you. And I believe that the process begins with you being upfront, open and honest about your desires. In the beginning.

State your business.

Remember. No always. No never.

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