You are her primary source of attention.

You are her primary source of attention.

You are her primary source of attention. Deal with it. Literally. Follow me.

One working definition of attention is “the act of dealing with someone or something.”

One working definition of dealing is “being occupied or concerned with.”

One working definition of occupy is “to fill up (time or space).

One working definition of concerned is “interested.”

So, by substituting our working definitions of dealing into our working definition of attention, and making it applicable to a relationship, we can conclude that attention means “the act filling up your time and/or space or being interested in your girlfriend (fiancée, wife, boo thang, whatever).

And let me restate my first sentence here:


It’s really that simple. When you are dating a woman and she wants or needs attention, the first person she looks to is you. And while you might think you are in a relationship for love or companionship or sweet love making make no mistakes about it; you are there to give her attention. You are there to fill up her time and space and to be interested in her.

There are ten thousand and eighty minutes in a week. Give her some of those minutes. With smart-phones there’s absolutely no excuse why any woman should feel unattended to by her man. Unless he isn’t interested. And if you are interested but not giving her those minutes understand she’s going to think you aren’t interested. So, you better come up off those minutes regardless. Hell, even if you just forwarded the same “thinking about you” text from yesterday it’s better than nothing. I’m just saying.

The laws of physics dictate that you can only be in one space at one time so make a concerted effort to make sure that you and her share the same space more often than not.

Just in case you are unsure about what interested means, one working definition is “a feeling of curiosity.” You don’t have to love everything she’s into. You don’t have to like everything she does or says. But you must be curious. You must explore. You must make her feel like you are into her. Here’s a pro tip. When she tells you about something, no matter what it is respond with “really? Tell me more about that.” The less you know about what she’s talking about the better it is for you. Shut up and listen. Oh, yeah, another pro tip. Attention from the ears is better than attention from the lips.

Giving attention is an activity. It is something you do. It happens naturally at the beginning of all relationships but it can and does fall off after time. It is your responsibility to keep it cracking. You must give her attention. I believe the number one thing a woman wants from a man she’s dating is undivided attention with number two being divided attention with her getting the queen’s share. I also believe that most relationships that go wrong begin the go wrong process with the loss of attention. And I believe that when a woman isn't getting attention from the man she is loving she will start loving the man that gives her attention.

So, I will say it again. You are her primary source of attention. Give it to her.

Remember. No always. No never.

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