The first date should be high on conversation and low on investment.
The purpose of a first date is to find out if this woman can hold a conversation and if she is interesting to you. You are obviously attracted to her hence the setup of the date. But you don’t know that you like her. So, put yourself in a position where you can get to know this person a little better and decide if you like her or not.
And there is always the chance that she might not like you.
I think most men don’t ever really consider that when setting up first dates and in an attempt to impress they actually put women in very awkward situations. Women are pretty quick with that “like you, I don’t like you” thing and it probably sucks to discover they don’t like you around appetizers with a main course and a ride home still looming.
So, plan your first date with adequate escape routes for both you and her. Do early evening so that if things are great, you guys can choose to extend the night. If things aren’t great, you can part ways and the night isn’t completely screwed.
Choose a location that’s conducive to conversation and close to her. Then meet her there. This gives her an out if things aren’t so great. On the flipside, if she is interesting and has good conversation and she is in familiar territory, this gives her plenty about which to talk.
No movies. Obviously. Movies are made for silent watching and again the purpose of this date is conversation. Plus, movies are expensive these days. Too high of an investment for someone you don’t know you like.
No dinners. Again, too high of an investment. And, to be blunt, bump feeding someone you don’t know you like. If things go well, there will more than enough time for wining and dining.
Whatever you do, pay for it. Not because it’s the gentleman thing to do. Pay because it is your exploratory exercise. It is your investment and therefore, you are responsible for the goods consumed during your exercise. Now, if by chance, she asked you out and she arranged the entire thing and it is clear that this date is her exploratory exercise, well then by all means let her pay. However, if the date is not her doing, or it seems that the date is happening somewhere in the grey area, then take financial responsibility for the date. Dutch is for friends and married couples. Don't even consider it.
Lastly, be free, open and honest. Be willing to fall madly in like with this person as well as willing to be totally disgusted. Be open to the idea that you may not be this woman’s type. Or that she may just not be interested. Present who you are, where you are and your life condition without apologies.
And have fun.
Remember. No always. No never.
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