Reconsider Everything

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Boyfriend Tip #311 - Reconsider everything.

For me, this tip has kept my current relationship sailing. I am a firm believer in the things that I believe in and I am quite hesitant to waiver in my faith. However, I am aware that all things are subjective and that with some reconsideration a new perspective can be reached. Recently, I had to reconsider my view on the phrase, “I’m sorry.”

I don’t say “I’m sorry.” Not to say I don’t apologize because I do. If I have done wrong and I feel some sort of way about the wrong I have done, I will apologize. I just don’t use the phrase, “I’m sorry.” Because I’m not.

Sorry is an adjective. It describes the condition of a thing as being of poor quality. It’s synonymous with wretched. When something is sorry then it produces sorry results even with the best intentions and the greatest of efforts. When one says that they are “sorry” they are in fact making an excuse for their condition which thus results in the wrong that they have done. And that is not always the case.

If we’re singing a song and I jack up the harmony, I am sorry. Because I can’t sing for a damn. If, while walking, I bump into you and spill your drink, I apologize because I didn’t mean to bump into you but I’m not sorry. I walk just fine.

So, I don’t say “I’m sorry.” I say “I apologize”. But I’ve had to reconsider that behavior.

I tend to watch what I say and I have noticed that my significant other doesn’t respond the same way to “I apologize” as she does to “I’m sorry.” While the former seems more appropriate to me, the latter has a greater effect on her mood. When I say “I’m sorry” she reacts more favorably and I get the sense that she feels validated.

I have explained to her the fundamental difference of the two phrases and being a smart woman she gets it. Yet, the one phrase is received better than the other and I have noticed.

Do I continue to do what I do because I believe that I am doing right? Or do I change and use the phrase that brings about the peace and joy a proper apology should bring?

My grandfather would say, “It’s better to be happy than be right.” And he’s right.

We all get down a certain way and that way has worked for us for many years. And we bring that way with us into relationships. Maybe that way works great. But maybe it doesn’t. The only way to find out is to reconsider it. And everything else while we’re at it.

Remember. No always. No never.

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