"A friend to all is a friend to none." - Aristotle
I was talking to a group of guys about relationships and they were a bit taken aback by my “I don’t really care if they like me” attitude towards my girlfriend’s friends. Almost all the guys in the group were very concerned about being liked by their girlfriend’s friends and in fact, the conversation had begun with one of the guys asking about ways to gain points with the girlfriend’s friends. After we talked, I thought about the conversation and had some thoughts on the matter. Here are some thoughts on the girlfriend’s friends.
As a boyfriend, it is always great to be liked by the girlfriend’s friends. It makes social interactions less awkward. And it keeps the stank eye count low. Being liked by the girlfriend's friends allows the girlfriend to bring the boyfriend around her friends which is a positive quality every boyfriend should have. The ability to be brought around the friends. Some women are so close to their friends that when they get into relationships, they have the boyfriend join the closeness rather than create distance between themselves and their friends. Friends are a huge deal. Whenever I am liked I appreciate it. However, I rarely ever seek to be liked by the girlfriend’s friends. Meaning, I don’t present myself as a potential friend. I am the boyfriend.
That is all they see. Their friend’s boyfriend. They are the girlfriend’s friends. They are not my friends. Their loyalty is with the girlfriend. The reason we are interacting is because of the girlfriend. And no matter how much they like me after meeting me, if they judge me, they will do so based upon how I treat their friend. So, I can shuck and jive all I want to curry favor. If I suck as a boyfriend, these friends will reject me no matter how much they like me. And they will know if I suck as a boyfriend. Friends are always the first to know.
Moreover, these friends are people and some people just don’t like other people. It’s the whole water and oil thing. In fact, I’m willing to bet that even within the group of friends that are the girlfriend’s friends that there are a couple of friends that don’t really like each other. That ish happens. And so, there is a good chance that no matter what I do, one of the girlfriend’s friends won’t like me. And that’s okay. Because at the end of the day, even that person will judge me based on how I treat their friend.
So, I say don't worry about being liked by the girlfriend's friends. Be the best boyfriend possible. That will take care of everything including the girlfriend's friends.
Remember. No always. No never.
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