"Like is what allows us to be in the presence of other people.."
Recently an associate of mine asked me the following question: “In a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, what is more important, Like or Love?”
My answer. Like.
I believe Love is important. Very important. I just happen to believe that Like is more important.
The thought process begins with the knowledge that Love is both a noun and a verb and Love, the verb, is the act of feeling Love, the noun. One can not Love, the verb, until Love, the noun, exists. And how does this Love, the noun, come to be? Like.
Then there’s the context. In a “serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship” there is a massive amount of interaction. And where there is a massive amount of interaction there ought to be a massive amount of Like happening. Otherwise that interaction is destined to be dreadful.
When I think about Like, I think about the character Lord Henry in Oscar Wilde’s "The Portrait of Dorian Grey." In a conversation about Dorian Grey, Lord Henry says, “If a personality fascinates me, whatever mode of expression that personality selects is absolutely delightful to me.”
This is essence of Like. Like is what allows us to be in the presence of other people and not only enjoy them but also enjoy the time we spend with them. We plant seeds of friendships with people because we Like them. We vibe with certain coworkers over others because we Like them. We have favorite baristas, servers, nail technicians, barbers, heck, siblings because we Like them. And these people we Like are people with whom we’re more likely to spend quality time.
There are people in my life that I Like that I do not Love and I would spend massive amounts of time in their presence. The opposite is not true. I would not willingly spend any amount of time with anyone in my life that I Love and do not Like.
Like leads to Love. I have never heard of Love inspiring Like.
I can recall in those first few weeks post-breakup still feeling the Love but wanting nothing to do with the other person because all the Like is gone.
In a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, Like is most important. It’s like Love is the party and Like is the disc jockey. And we all know what happens to a party when the DJ sucks.
Remember. No Always. No Never.