I needed a break from happy thoughts

This Is When I Feel Grateful: Day 19 Countdown

I am struggling in many ways right now, but I keep pushing on. I keep trying to stay positive, and believe that everything will work out. I keep doing what is expected from me. I keep trying not to disappoint anyone. I keep trying to understand the purpose and direction my life should go. As I have written before, I have a difficult time asking for help. I have an even more arduous issue with disappointing people, including myself. I don’t want to accept defeat or feel like I am in any way giving up, but I needed to yesterday.

screen-shot-2017-08-12-at-7-59-52-pmI slept late, but woke up with a headache that  lasted all day no matter what medicine I took. I have struggled lately with these types of headaches, and I know that I should figure out why I am getting them. I really do believe in the power of positive thinking. If I think happy thoughts, I will be happy. I still feel that way today, but I also know that if I ignore how I am really feeling, those emotions will need to come out in some other way or fashion.

Yesterday I was tired; I was frustrated; I was anxious. My headaches are trying to tell me something. Maybe they are just telling me to rest, or maybe there is more. I listened; I slowed down; I rested because I had to. Today I feel grateful when I am forced to face the truth. I needed a break from thinking happy thoughts. Maybe I should take some breaks without being forced to by a debilitating headache?

All through my day, no matter where I go, or what I do, I am always looking for the good. I try to find the good in people, in the world, in my life or even just in my day.

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