Wake up and go to the bathroom. Step on the scale. Go to the kitchen to check blood sugar. Make sure pump is working right and take insulin if needed. Look at clock. Jump into shower. Look at clock again. Get dressed. Go to car. Turn on the radio. Drive to work. Look at clock. Get to work. Look at clock. Settle in. Check blood sugar after coffee.
You get the point. You know how many times I check the clock, check myself and make sure I'm on the path to righteousness? Too many times in a day. It's funny how our lives are literally run by numbers. In every sense of numbers. Bank accounts, gas mileage, even your radio station channel. It's easy to understand the control you have in your life if you know your numbers. But mine takes numbers in to consideration a little more. Just a bit.
My diet ends this week. It was more of a detox than anything else and I lost weight and lowered my insulin drastically to the point that I decided to go back to lantus for a few days. Lantus is a long lasting insulin that I used to take before I went on the pump. It's supposed to keep you regulated all day and when you eat a certain amount of carbs, I take humolog, a fast-acting insulin to balance me out and help with the carbs. Because I was on so little insulin during the day and I kept dropping (hypoglycemia) in the early mornings, I decided to just go back to the lantus.
I was talking to my friend about it all and said, "Man, I can't wait to go get blood work done." This is the first time ever that I've been excited to get blood work done. I feel like my cholesterol might have gone down, my A1c might have dropped a little more and everything else will be at the levels that have to be. Numbers. They're all numbers.
Seven is too high but six is just right.
Fifteen is a great number, but 20 is better.
You should be below 200, but where you are is "fine."
Numbers, numbers, numbers. Sometimes they get me dizzy but most often times, they keep me organized, as they should for everyone else.
I know how well I'm doing, how healthy I am and how I can maintain myself by studying the numbers. As scientific as that sounds, it's necessary and I feel that people don't pay attention to that enough. Of course, there are those who give it too much attention, but one step at a time allows for us to manage it on a micro level, as it should be. Micro management of health can lead to a change (a good one) in the whole person. What many people don't understand is that it takes one step at a time to take your health under control. I'm not telling you to go on a strict diet like me or to even cut down your insulin intake (DON'T do that!). I'm just recommending that you take a sense of control and start paying attention to your numbers.
Being overly obsessive can also be harmful but it's all about balance and (yes, you've all heard it before) moderation. I knew that this diet was going to take about a month to do. I knew that with time, things would change and they did. It's about will power, patience and determination to make things work for you. I always have it in my mind that this is for my health and my life longevity. I don't want to worry about complications although living with Type 1, the chances are all still as possible as a person who doesn't take care of themselves.
I tell people I'm doing this, because I want them to know that if I can do it, you can surely do it too. But then there are excuses.
"You have a stronger will power than I do."
"I won't be able to do it, I love carbs too much."
Oh, well then, why do anything? People have to put their health first, which is something I see people failing at all the time. They always say, I'll do it tomorrow or blatantly, I don't want to. But why not? My numbers keep me in check and I like it that way. Life is short and precious. I don't want to waste any time in being unhealthy and feeling awful. So, I just did something about it. I'm telling you, you can do it too.