Lately I've been thinking about the meaning of being normal. Normal is such a silly concept because who decides the boundaries and guidelines? To me, normal is growing up in a nice home, going to a nice college, having a nice job, finding a nice husband, having some nice kids and then yadda yadda yadda...death. What's funny is that I have ALWAYS rebelled from the norm. I NEVER wanted to be normal. No sir. I wanted to march to the beat of my own tambourine (didn't even wanna hassle with the drum). But lately I've become so obsessed with what it means to be normal.
It's crazy because I literally did everything in my power to not be normal my whole life. From the outside, I completely fit in with what a normal suburban Jewish girl was supposed to be. But look a little deeper and see I always had some sort of differentiator. Take high school. I was a cheerleader - you can't get much more normal than that. But I wasn't just a cheerleader. I cheered for two years and then out of the blue switched to poms with no real dance training (aside from a few ballet and jazz classes as a kid) and no real goal in mind, just decided to change the box I checked at tryouts from cheer to poms. My friends were all baffled by this because it was basically converting to the dark side, but I liked the idea that I would be making a splash. I also was part of the school choir. I was the one cheer/pom girl that would have to occasionally leave practices early to go sing on stage with the choir nerds. Looking back, screaming at football games was probably not the best vocal activity for my choir voice, but I loved that I was on my own individual path. And I still love that.
I love thinking about those times because it makes me feel like it's ok that I am not living the normal 28 year old life. I love that I can decide to try a new job or a new city on a whim. I love that I can pick up a new hobby without question or join way too many volunteer groups at once. I don't know who is making the normal guidelines, but I'm really lucky I am not following them.
There's nothing wrong with being normal. As long as you strive to have some abnormal tendencies. I sometimes ponder "what would it be like to be...well...normal?" and then I quickly realize that's just not me. I do want to settle down eventually and go through what we as a society has deemed normal. But I know I will always keep my individual spark, my need to always feel challenged, and never fall into too normal of a pattern.