If you've spent any time as a human, you've been faced with making "big"decisions. "Big" typically means emotionally challenging.
Making decisions in the face of fear and doubt is hard.
But why, and what, are we fearing and doubting?
Typically it's the unknown. We hate the unknown. It causes us to cower and make ourselves small.
But if we were supposed to be able to predict the future, we would.
Part of the human contract is facing the unknown, hopefully with trust, joy and confidence and not fear and doubt.
Getting clear on that, and working through it, is where you'll find your solution.
I've got a big decision to make today. I'm unclear (so I think) about what the right decision for me is so I'm going to put myself through a process, live—here in this post, to get more clear, calm and confident about what my next best step it. I'm sharing my "how to make a big decision with ease" process with you.
If you've got a big decision to make, give this process a try.
What To Do When You're Struggling to Make a "Big" Decision
First, start writing—immediately upon sensing fear—for clarification, calm and confidence (as I am doing in this post.)
Writing causes thinking.
Specifically, directed thought.
Chaotic thought feels yucky. Clarity feels good. That's a very distinct difference. You can do feel good when you're making big decisions.
I'm facing a big decision today. It involves not only a significant monetary investment but an emotional and physical one. It will require a significant amount of time and energy but the pay off could be huge.
I've been here before ... on the verge of significant change.
The feeling I'm describing is the one you get when you're at a crossroads in life. The universe has provided you with an answer to the question you've been asking for but it surprised you because you didn't see it coming—today.
You didn't know when it would show up but you didn't think it would be today.
If someone was to ask you if you thought you were ready to make such a big decision today, you'd have said, "No, not at all."
But alas the universe speaks in whispers not shouts and shows up at the oddest times ... such as now.
Today I see my challenge lying before me and the solution lying next to it. And it feels odd.
If I say, "Yes!" to myself and make the investment, I could have more of everything I've been saying I want: getting to do what I love—helping people connect with their own intuition (the irony, yes?) and get better and faster results in life, more time, money and a joy-filled life journey along the way.
The last time I felt this way was when I was faced with the decision to join Bob Proctor's coaching program as a student. That led to my own enormous level of personal growth, success and confidence. By saying "Yes!" to myself that fateful day, I found the time, energy and resources to eventually work with Bob personally at his Matrixx event, write a best selling book, start a coaching business, connect more deeply with Self and family and release myself from the curse of low self-worth and confidence. I'm a totally different person today since I made that "big" decision 5 years ago.
Today's decision has a similar feeling, a smiliar vibration. That alone should be all I need to know, right? If it worked out last time; it will work out the same or better this time.
The minute I began to feel the familiar linch of fear, I knew something big was up. I'd been emotionally asking for a solution for this challenge for many months now. I've been playing with this idea and thinking about (excitedly) what it will do for me, others who need this solution I'm providing, my business and my family.
The funny thing is, I must be ready to take action because today the solution showed up.
That's how you know you're ready. Your reality begins to shift and you notice new ideas and options and the solution is there.
Don't thwart your potential awesome outcomes by thinking, "What?! I don't have the time, money or energy for this!!" The irony is you do (have the time, money and energy), but you won't see any of these things until you actually say, "Yes!" to yourself.
You must first say, "Yes!" and then take the inspired action that aligns with that verbal yes ... or it's actually a no.
Imagine there is a thick, glass wall between you and your desired outcomes. You can see them (your outcomes) waiting for you on the other side but because you are scared, you freeze. The only way to make the wall disappear is to say, "Yes!" and start running full speed toward the wall. Your instructor has promised that, like platform 9 3/4 in Harry Potter, you will penetrate the wall and find yourself in the precise place you desire to be.
Would you do it? Or would you allow fear and doubt to take over?
Today, for me, my logic and intellect decided it needed a vote. It went through all the pro's and con's and suggested I call two specific people for advice (which I did, to appease it). It was trying to convince me I'd never be able to penetrate the wall.
All the while my gut, my intuition, is poking at me asking me to pay attention.
Gut was saying, "Be aware of the illusion fear presents! Fear always trys to tell you the solution isn't valid or real and that if you make the decision I (gut) suggests you make, you'll regrets it!" Gut was saying, "This feels like the right decision!! Say "yes" to yourself and go for it!! Crash through that wall!!"
Yes, writing this (this post) is calming me down. I am getting clear and advising myself (and you, if you're reading) how to handle fear.
As I felt the stirring of fear when thinking about making this decision, I knew I need a fast diversion. Writing diverts a person's focus of attention from all the thoughts that could gravitate to the initial fear-based thought ... making it bigger. I don't want to feel worse; I want to feel better.
I know what action steps to take to become calm, clear and confident about my decision. Writing is one of them.
Getting calm, clear and confident while writing is what stimulates the sensation of calm, clear and confident. WE WANT THE FEELING OF CALM, CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE.
I can see my thoughts clearly, in writing, and I can literally rescript them to be different or "coach" myself, if needed.
As I do this writing process, I'm can feel a very real resurgence of confidence— I know what the right decision is for me now. I am less scared, less confused, less nauseous.
In fact, this is what I teach people—how to ignite their intuition to know what their next best move is ... in any situation (like making big decisions).
Taking my own medicine is necessary today.
Now that I'm feeling calmer and clearer about the "largess" of the decision, I can hear the message my intuition is sending me about what the right answer for me. I don't need to be able to explain this decision to other people.
Making big decisions is not about justification; it's about connect with self. It's about feeling around within until I can feel what is right decision is for me in this monent. I don't need to intellectualize what appears to be "right" based on "facts" presented by others.
Reality is old news, by the way. "Facts" gathered from my past or even my current reality ... of what has happened are old news. There are not indicaators of what is going to happen.
I must also admit that as I'm writing I'm taking deep breaths, oxygen in—anxiety out. I'm thinking the words "Calm. Clear. Confident. Aligned." This is where the answer to my "big" decision lives—in an aligned version of me.
I can now choose from a place of connectedness, rather than fear.
I know saying, "Yes!" to myself is the right thing today. I also know that once I say yes, by taking inspired action from a place of trust (even though I don't know how all my future desired outcomes will happen), is what releases the next flood of ideas making the "how" part clear.
I will never have access to the "how" part of my desired outcomes from the undecided, racked with fear, worried about what will happen side of the wall. I have to say yes to myself and align with my yes.
Thanks for listening to my process of how to make a "big" decision.
Intuition is such a gift and we all have it. When we allow ourselves to trust our gut, more than our intellect, is the precise moment life opens up for us in a big way.
And so it is.
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