If you're like every human being, you've had the experience of feeling lost in life. You don't know which way to turn and every decision feels overwhelming.
For some, it might be a question of, "How do I determine my life's purpose?".
For others, it might be a concern regarding, "How do I know if this is the right relationship for me?"
Big decisions often knock us the farthest off our paths.
What if you had a method, a way of reworking your thinking and feeling, so you could get back on track quickly?
Would you use it?
With practice, these 5 tips will help you orienteer your way back to feeling happy and secure in a matter of minutes.
1) First you must understand this principle very clearly. All feelings of any kind, all emotions of every type, are a secondary step.
When you feel something, you're connecting with the fact that it would not be possible to feel what you're feeling if you didn't believe something to be true for you, first.
You can not have a feeling of any kind without first believing or defining something to be true for you. If you have a feeling, like feeling lost, angry, sad, guilty .... which I'm guessing is an emotion that you'd rather not have ... ask yourself these 2 questions:
What belief would I have to have in order to feel the way I do regarding this situation?
What is the definitinon I'm holding on to as true?
You can't have a feeling without first having a definition for something. Feelings are your guidance system ringing your doorbell telling you you have a belief you might not be consciously aware of.
Open the door, discover what the belief is, and choose a different one. Redefine the belief to one you'd prefer and the feeling of being lost will dissolve.
2) Thank your feelings for giving you a BIG clue you have a limiting belief you need to change.
Thank yourself for having feelings, instead of berating yourself.
Human emotions have momentum.
Once you're in a certain mood—in this case sad, lost, helpless, frustrated, irrelevent—thoughts of like vibration are easily attracted to the ball of thought you've got going.
It's so easy to "spin out" in a negative direction. Within minutes it's bigger than when you started.
When you become consciously aware this is happening, it's easier to slow the momentum. You can do things that help you slow down and gently move in another direction such as playing your favorite music, talking a walk, or having a cup of tea. Whatever makes you feel better is a good move.
You're not a "bad person" for feeling the way you do. You're totally and completely normal.
3) Go general in your thinking.
Once you've got a lot of negative momentum, you will see evidence of what is called Law of Attraction. LOA is not just about shifting material things around in your life like a better job or a new body. It governs the trajectory of your thoughts and feelings, too.
Once LOA gets involved with your feeling lost (which is does with any thought the moment you have it), you're seeing evidence that you're a total lost cause and life sucks. This happens so fast it'll make your head spin.
Once you have a thought, positive or negative, you've got 17 seconds to turn it around before it'll give birth to more thoughts just like it. You want more positive thoughts so hold onto the happy thoughts and watch them expand. Turn the negative thoughts around as soon as you catch them, hopefully in the beginning.
The more aware you're of the process of emotional momentum and how it works with thinking and feeling, the more you will be able to catch it in the early stages and turn it around before it's too late.
In order to stop the emotional avalance, be as general as you can in your thinking and word choice. As you choose your words, kinestetically judge where you are in relation to feeling better. Did this thought make me feel better or worse?
If you say something like, "If I don't figure this out, I'll never be happy." you will be adding momentum to the negative.
If you say, "There is nothing I need to figure out this red hot minute." you will ease the speed at which you are rolling down the hill.
The secret to slowing the negative momentum is to select words and sentences that help you feel a little better at a time. Small, incremental movements work best. Words are a translation of invisible vibrations of emotion and thought. Words are only just symbols.
Watch your word choice when you're feeling down, in an outside observer sort of way. The words you say, or think, reveal to you your current vibrational frequencies or emotional "station".
When you do this, be honest. You know the difference between when you're truly feeling it and when you're giving yourself and everyone lip service. There's a different between intellectual belief and emotional belief. No more kidding yourself. If you're freaked out and feeling lost and the words you find yourself saying aren't helping you feel better GO GENERAL. Do the work to feel better which is your most important work in life.
Get happy and then ...
5) From this better feeling place, now you can decide what you're next best step it.
Caught in a negative thinking-feeling avalance is NOT the time to take action. You will only expand the negative. If you need someone to "talk you down" so to speak, got for it. I'm a firm believer in the power of vocalizing your feelings to a trusted person. Just think twice about taking an action that will expand what you don't want.
Contrary to the perception of lack of time that accompanies feeling lost, you actually do have enough time to figure out your next best step.
You honestly don't have to figure out what you're going to do "for the rest of your life" or try and tackle any big decisions, in that negative space. It's not in the right mindset to be able to see clearly anyway.
Stick to finding ways to feel better and then decide what your next best incremental move is.
It could be something as small as what to have for dinner or which pile of clothes to put away first. If you can get to the place where you're ready to make a bigger decision, go for it. Otherwise, wait until tomorrow. Sleep hits the reset button.
By the way, for those of you who are interested in Law of Attraction, it's not active while you're sleeping. You're not creating, or making things "bigger", when you're asleep.
When you get up the next day, you pick up right where you left off emotionally on any given topic. But you're not "adding to" the stress in your life when you're asleep even if you're having nightmares.
That's good new because it means the work you did to slow the negative momentum during your day, on a topic like feeling lost in life, will be highly beneficial to how you think, feel and create going forward.
A new day truly is a new day, a fresh start.
5) Once you're achieved steps 1-4, then (and only then) look for evidence that life is working out for you.
If you try and find evidence that life is good when you're feeling down, chances are good you won't find it. And that's not because it's not there, it IS there ... you just can't see it.
Emotions act like filtering glasses. You will only see what is resonate with how you feel. It's impossible to see good when you feel bad.
You can try to think happy thoughts, but it's how you feel that has more creative power.
Your intellect is a powerful tool to help you move up the scale of emotional resonance. I suggest you use it in that capacity whenever you can. But if you're feeling lost, desperate, fearful or scared about life in general, you're not likely to be able to "see" the good.
We see with our beliefs, our emotions, not our eyes.
Once you're feeling better, then start looking for proof of how things are working out for you. Know that when you're feeling lost, you will only see proof of that EMOTION, not proof of how life will always be working out for you.
Moving up the scale of emotional resonance is the best gift you can give yourself when you're feeling lost.
But don't worry if you can't do it. There's always enough time. There is no rush, no pressure. You're not ruining your life because you experience contrast and negative emotions. You didn't do anything wrong.
If possible, however, try not to stay there too long (like weeks, months, and years) in the negative place. Cutting yourself some slack and not being so hard on yourself usually creates positive momentum. Complain if you need to, if it helps you move from fear to anger it's a helpful thing, contrary to popular thinking. Venting is good if it's helping you feel better.
I once heard a very wise person say that Source (God, Universal Intelligence, Angels, or Spiritual Guides, whatever term you prefer) talks to us in gradations. When we're feeling fear, He/She/They encourage us to move up to anger. Or, if we're feeling blame, He/She/They encourage us to move up to disappointment. And .... they He/She/They celebrate then we do. This is progress that was encouraged.
Why would they do that instead of asking us to move directly up to joy?
Because when we're feeling really low, we need to reach for the next best feeling we can. It's very difficult to move from fear to joy. It's much easier to move from revenge to blame. The movement is the most spiritual thing you can do. Just don't stay there. Keep moving up the scale. Think is this movement like playing a scale on a piano and moving up the octaves. If you played the same note over and over again you would miss the sound of chords, sharps, flats and full compostions. There's a need for them all, a richness in their existence.
When we move up the emotional scale, God and the angels cheer in delight. They truly understand it's never about the end result. It's only about the process. The spiritual guides moto is:
You can never get it done. You can never get it wrong. Everything is always working out for you.
Such a calming idea. Don't you agree?
P.S. If you have ever have any questions about this material or you just want to continue this conversation, please join me on my Facebook page for this blog at Facebook: Live. Love. Matter.
P.P.S. Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. I read through my posts many times but since I wrote them, it's challenging to edit them perfectly. If you'd like to report errors, please hop on over to the Live. Love. Matter. FB blog page and let me know!! I'm so glad you noticed and I'll fix them asap!!