Ten Things You Will NEVER Hear Me Say While Shopping at Whole Foods

I went to Whole Foods today to pick-up a couple of things.  It is the closest grocery store to where I was located.  Now, with much in life, you need to be confident. However, Whole Foods is one of those places I am not confident. I do not know what 90% of the items are... Read more »

"Do I really look like this?" - My Magnifying Mirror Experience

My family and I recently took a spring break trip to Cabo San Lucas Mexico.  Yeah, yeah, I know… I am one lucky bi-atch.  Step off sister, I deserve it – it’s been a rough year.  Back to Cabo – it was wonderful.  By wonderful I mean swaying palm trees, drinks by the pool, sunny... Read more »

Realistic Valentine's Day Sentiments

According to the calendar, Valentine’s Day is upon us. Not sure where the first 13 days of February went, but away they went. Now I am scrambling for a V-Day card, gift, something, ANYTHING for my husband. I was out looking at cards, trying to find just the right one that captures the “I love... Read more »
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An Open Letter To Tableside Entertainers

Dear Tableside Entertainers, I want to take this opportunity to apologize for getting a little snippy with you recently.  It’s not you… it’s me.  Well, maybe it is you.   Listen, I completely respect your choice to pursue a career in tableside entertainment.  Whether it is amusing restaurant patrons with face painting, balloon animal development, Charles Dickens-style Christmas carols,... Read more »

Are You Suffering From Holiday Card Envy?

I am going to be honest with you… I am on the cusp of a mini panic/anxiety attack regarding holiday cards. Don’t get me wrong… I love receiving photo cards from friends and family. I enjoy seeing how much the children have grown and changed, what adventures the family has taken during the year, and... Read more »

An Open Letter To The Hormones Raging in My Pre-Teen Daughter

Dear Hormones, This is a formal letter of reprimand notifying you that your performance is adversely affecting the individuals residing in my household.  It has come to my attention, rather abruptly, that you are functioning at an inconsistent level, thus affecting the emotional stability of my pre-teen daughter.  You have commandeered my tween and made... Read more »

Quiz: Test To See if You Are Halloween Savvy

Test your Halloween savvy. Match the big name personality with the treat they are handing out to trick or treaters this Halloween. Answers are at the bottom. Big Name Personality 1. Gwyneth Paltrow, lifestyle guru & occasional actress 2. Oprah, goddess divine 3. Terry Gross, host & producer of NPR’s Fresh Air 4. Tom Brady, quarterback for... Read more »

Humor Is A Subjective Biatch

One question I get asked a lot is, “Stacey, how did you get into comedy writing?” I wish I had a clear-cut cool person answer, but I don’t. After I had my third kiddo I knew I wanted to return to work, but I knew I didn’t want to do what I was doing in... Read more »

DIY Costumes For Moms With No Time To Make Your Kid’s Halloween Costume

This fall has been the busiest fall of my 40+ years of existence. Between motherhood, daughterhood, sisterhood, womanhood, and humanhood (is that a thing?) I have hit the proverbial fall wall. So when my darling children approached me about giving them Halloween costume ideas and/or making a Halloween costume from scratch, my left eye began... Read more »

An Open Letter To The Person Standing Behind Me In An Exercise Class

Dear Person Standing Behind Me In An Exercise Class, First, I would like to commend you for standing behind me in an exercise class.   I typically stand in the back of the room. You are likely perched next to the exit door if you are behind me. I think it is wonderful you are choosing... Read more »